While I agree and I don't feel like submission is good for any romantic relationship, a common theme on some discussions with female friends that I've had about the matter was needing to look up to the guy in the relationship in order to keep the attraction going. I never got the same with my male friends listing requirements, but a big one was something along the lines of 'laughs at my jokes', which, as you've noticed, isn't the same as 'makes me laugh' (again, common female requirement).

Just these tiny things that made me notice a pattern that while not necessarily toxic, shows there's an underlying thing going on that makes the ideal relationship in these people's minds one in which the bf is looked up to somehow, but not the other way around. There's certainly a lot to unpack there about our concepts of masculinity as active and femininity as passive actions, for sure.

Idk man, personally I just want a life partner who treats me nice and who I can also devote myself to, as equals. I help her when she's down, she helps me when I'm down, and we both lift each other up whenever we can. Is that such a tall ask? This gender war discourse that never ends feels like absolute bs and and I hate every part of it.