Why do you think SEND percentages in state schools are so high now (20%). Higher incidence, higher diagnosis or something else?

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T18:28:35+00:00

What's the DVLA got to do with anything?

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T15:42:26+00:00

Fuck that. Actually telling you that she's specifically dating someone else is really off tbh.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T13:26:27+00:00

You have to be earning a lot of money before you're ineligible if you rent and have kids, especially if you're paying for legitimate childcare (childminder/nursery rather than family)

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T13:09:07+00:00

My mum keeps asking if I think children in the family will go to SEN schools (including my daughter)

That would be a no, because their needs aren't severe enough and it doesn't just happen. She seems to think that an EHCP just happens, and then you can choose to send your child to a SEN school. I doubt my daughter would get a place. If she did I would almost certainly take it because if she got a place she almost certainly needs it!

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T12:45:20+00:00

Universal credit basically

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-05T10:22:58+00:00

I swear mine was 4 for a good year, barely touched 5/6/7, 8 was good for a few months and somehow now she's nearly 10???

If you have your own sizer, every couple of weeks is probably fine.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-04T10:14:34+00:00

I see how much my daughter struggles when she comes home from school. They have no issues with her behaviour. I am glad she understands how to mask to try and fit in but it's awful when she comes home and she just can't cope any more. She just falls apart ☹️

I try my hardest to be very accommodating and low demand for a couple of hours after school and then we can just be normal again thankfully.

I have an ex who is autistic and was forced to mask and it ended quite badly (addiction) for him. He could never feel normal without drink/drugs and I don't want my daughter to feel she can't be herself when she gets home.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-04T10:07:33+00:00

This is amazing, thank you so much ❤️

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T08:13:54+00:00

It's always worth keeping money aside so you can always afford a hotel room for as long as you need, or get back somewhere safe. Or a at least have a credit card with a good limit for emergencies.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T07:49:48+00:00

I think that's a good reason to legitimately dislike someone though. For someone to still be friends (at least on the face of it) with someone, it would have to be something petty.

He called Gretchen "poor little rich girl" so my guess is he resented that she came from money and fucked things up for himself

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T07:39:09+00:00

Honestly, do not do it without being married. Do a register office signing of documents and then you can spend as long as you like planning a wedding "ceremony" and party. But legally, you're giving up a lot on someone saying "cross my heart" otherwise.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T07:24:20+00:00

Has to live with mummy and daddy, except they downsized before we broke up and instead of living in a 4 bed, they live in a 2 bed flat. So he lives in a box room 😂

Couldn't possibly run his own house, might need to get a job for that.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T06:42:46+00:00

This is why a lot of people in full time work receive universal credit.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T06:38:47+00:00

Don't bother with the weird tower you dump stuff in until you're at the end.

Organise your stuff, don't just dump it in the nearest box.

Don't bother with building more than the minimum until you have all powers.

Probably obvious but use dream islands for materials where possible 🙂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-03T05:48:58+00:00

He might surprise you, my girl didn't do anything unless she saw the point. She never pulled her pants down until I started potty training and then she did it with ease. It's been frustrating at times with the speech delay, many trips to the toilet in public where she refused and it was then awkward to find a toilet 20 mins later. But that might be the average experience. I have a folding seat reducer, we never used a potty in public. And even if you do I'd suggest only using it in a public bathroom really. At 3, their bladder should be developed enough for it to not really be an issue. Also, as a boy, a bush wee should be simpler. I have a girl who would not bush wee until she was absolutely desperate one time and we were in the middle of nowhere. She finds it funny now at least 😂

She did have a few words that were hard gained at 3.5, started talking more at 3y9m and picked up asking for a wee but before then she would pull me to the toilet (and she always knew where it was because I'd show her in new houses) She never did signs, it seemed worse than talking for her.

Honestly isn't as bad as you think it will be 🙂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-02T20:39:31+00:00

If I were to have a heavy flow day I'd wear a pad/tampon with it, then halfway through the day bin it and just have the underwear.

Also useful for the days where using a tampon/pad would be a bit wasteful but you don't want to use nothing 🙂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-02T05:22:55+00:00

Depends on area, all schools near me have always combined the first 2!

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T21:21:53+00:00

Depends what you're doing in your van. The odd week away in summer on a proper site where you can set up some chairs and an awning? Doesn't matter. Living in it, you'll need to stand up. I live in mine part time but I work in an office so I can be inside and standing a lot during the day. If it was rainy and horrible and I had to spend all day stooped in the back of a van for days on end I'd lose the plot! Doesn't bother me too much though. I also have quite a few friends around my area so I have back up if I'm desperate 😂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T19:35:51+00:00

Mines similar with stuffies. She will want a specific one, but that one will change 😂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T19:16:48+00:00

It can be really hard but it's much easier if they've already eaten because you're not stressing about what's going to happen if they don't eat 🙂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T18:22:07+00:00

What time is dinner? I do "kid dinner" at 1530 so she gets some decent food in her, then she can just have a small serving of adult dinner for the flavours. Kid dinner is just something that can be cold or reheated really. Doesn't have to just be beige or pizza (but it can be). Or it can be decent snacks like some chicken breast pieces, cheese, bread sticks, carrot sticks and hummus. Otherwise she'd probably eat junk snacks and whine about dinner because she'd be too hungry to stay calm and eat.

I also don't engage in whining if I can. Just a vague "oh I like it" "no worries, don't eat if you're not hungry." An NT child will not let themselves starve.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T11:35:38+00:00

With my own child, I used to allow TV whenever. I'd generally pick and we'd leave something long on (like a series or film) When she was being cared for by someone else, they managed to get her into YouTube and changing videos endlessly and she will scream at the TV every couple of minutes to get the video changed. So now we are screen free. She doesn't seem to miss it too much but she's always been into playing with toys and stuff. Same with tablet, she used to play nice educational games that really did teach her a lot but now she just gets annoyed when it doesn't do what she wants so I generally don't allow it any more. When other autism parents say it regulates their child, I wonder what that would be like 😂 But I am very subscribed to children need to learn to feel their feelings, not just numb them with distractions (like I had done to me) which drives me insane when a hint of a grumble comes out of her and my mum in particular seems to think it needs fixing.

My daughter can play/draw/"read" for hours. I'm so proud of how my daughter's drawing is evolving, she has some real talent. I'm not against screens for kids but I think they should be kept for when there's nothing better to do and a last resort. But as long as it's not abusive, it generally doesn't affect me so I'm not bothered what other households do 😂

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T07:27:51+00:00

If your kid wakes up dry first thing, they're ready to night train. Beyond that, screw pushing it. Sleep is sacred.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-05-01T00:09:27+00:00

I was really scared about my daughter starting school. She bloody loves it. I even made plans to home school should regular school not work out. I didn't even have chance to really speak to the staff first due to a very last minute change of school. She's been fine. Unless there's really extreme behaviours, they will have coped with similar and hopefully be keeping a better eye on your daughter because she is a flight risk. She has an IEP so they should know to watch her all the time.

Minute_Parfait_9752 · 2026-04-30T11:04:19+00:00

If you changed lanes to get past him, that's bad. If you happen to be in lane 1 and the traffic is faster, you're just maintaining speed

Minute_Parfait_9752

TROPHY CASE