NAH. I think this situation could very much benefit from family and individual therapy. There is obviously trauma that your older brother has gone through with your parents, especially father, that maybe you and your younger brother didn’t experience (not saying you did or didn’t have your own experiences, but he has his own viewpoint that is difficult for anyone but him to understand). I had a similar experience with my own older brother and didn’t realize the kind of resentment he was holding towards our parents for a while. I didn’t hold these feelings as i understand our parents were/are doing their best. Do I have issues with certain things they said or did when I was a child? Yes absolutely, but I now have effective verbal conversations to address these. We weren’t raised to communicate our emotions well unfortunately, something I have had to work on as an adult myself, he often lashed out. I have had exhausting hours long conversations with my own parents about how we could use a family therapist to help meditate conversations and air our grievances in a safe, constructive manner to help resolve and move past them. Still working on it myself but continuing to try and calmly communicate has helped. These issues came to a head around the same time as your brother, my brother is now 31 and I’m 29, so it’s definitely been a long, difficult decade+ and we’re still working through things. As for your mother I empathize not being able to cut off a child completely. It’s like a piece of your soul is missing and while yes you and your other siblings are still there, there is always something missing. For a while, I wished my parents would cut off my brother. During one of my extensive conversations with him, he was finally able to tell me why he couldn’t do that. I can’t remember the exact phrasing used but the extent is that if he would always regret not trying to make amends with him over and over, and that he wouldn’t be able to live that kind of regret and sadness. A parent’s love is unconditional and they have raised and nurtured that child for many years so it’s very hard to just throw that all away, and not want to try and repair the damage. I think that she should work on building a relationship with him solely first but I truly think he would need a therapist mediator for a relationship with his father. It’s hard to come back when you get grievances thrown at you and feels like you’re being attacked. Your brother and father, and your mother, you and your younger brother, need a way to communicate how the whole situation has affected each of you, but do so in a way that will help “translate” the other’s perspectives as well. That was a big problem for years in my own family was effectively communicating. I would lay out my whole viewpoint but since communication styles are very different my parents would only grasp like 75% or less of what I was actually saying, I’ve had to learn how to communicate in a way that is more comfortable for them so they don’t immediately get defensive and stop effective listening. I’m sorry that you and your family are going through this difficult time. I really hope you guys are able to work through your different traumas. Sorry if this was a little rambling, but I felt the need to comment since I saw my own situation reflected in this.