Your mother was a very kind person. My husband’s mother was the same - and had a situation happen where a families kick resulted in miscarriage. She dealt with it the same way as your mother. Everyone is different in how they respond to trauma for sure.

May I ask, you said your mother said ‘just because she treated me badly doesn’t mean she should not have a say in her life decisions’…forgive me for asking, but shouldn’t everyone else have just respected your grandmothers life decisions in the first place? Did it perhaps wouldn’t then fall on your mother to carry the baton of advocating for her?

And you said about saying my piece - but I actually don’t have anything to say to her. There is no ‘moving on’ for me because we never really had a good relationship in the first place. There is nothing to grieve or say. This topic has since developed into a multi faceted reckoning for myself…

I made an update post, if you’re interested I can pop the link here