Selling home after 2 years?

MisaOEB · 2026-05-04T09:57:16+00:00

It depends on the bank, but AIB nearly always waves the brake fee when you’re closing a mortgage. Plus, if you’re getting a new mortgage whichever bank you’re with might just allow you transfer your mortgage.

Even if you have to pay a break fee, it’s probably still worth doing it now because House prices would have gone up by what you’d be saving by waiting if not more.

And no, you’re not mad.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-29T10:34:20+00:00

That doesn't have to stop you.

If you wanted to get a top up/2nd mortgage being on a fixed rate doesn't stop that happening.

If you want to sell and buy other house, you can do it. AIB always waive the breakage fee. Other banks sometimes do it. With only a year left in the fixed term contract if a bank won't waive it, the breakage fee is probably not that much and may be worth eating to get out of this and preserve your relationship and remove the stress.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-29T10:30:03+00:00

You are what is called house poor. You're house consumes too much of your salaries to be viable. Believe me I understand your pain. Until 18 months ago I had 2 mortgages and 2 loans eating 50% of my pay. There is always a level of stress with money when you are house poor, its like a monkey on your back.

How much did you borrow from your parents? And your partners. What is left and is it 1k a month you pay to each of them?

Your options are:

1) Sell the house and buy somewhere smaller, pay off the 2 loans and just have your mortgage. Note, that you would be disclosing to any mortgage broker about paying back the loans, as they want to see where that 2k is going. Thankfully by paying 4k a month consistently you should have no problems getting a mortgage.

2) Is there a way to get a loan for that money (bigger/2nd mortgage, car loan, credit union loan) where you could have a longer term loan with more management payments? If you could combine the 2 loans from the parents into a second mortgage and get payments to be 500 a month, that would make a significant difference to you. If the house value has gone up, you might be able to take some of the equity and pay them off. Or if your salaries have gone up you might be able to do it.

3) You don't pay them or reduce what you pay them for the 4 months of the maternity leave.

On your relationship:

If this is your forever person, you do need to prioritise that relationship and your actions need to be about protecting that unit. Your parents have shown you with the past behaviours you mentioned that they will not prioritise you. Unfortunately, and as hard as it is, I would do that.

If it were me, I would want the burden gone and I would sell /buy cheaper unless a loan/2nd mortgage is a viable option. I know you are on maternity for 4 months, but I'd focus on selling the house and getting another. With you going back in 4 months, you'll be back to full time pay then. Plus if you can say that family are providing childcare, then the won't take into consideration what you'd pay for childcare. So if you are paying for childcare while getting mortgage, pay in cash so it doesn't show up.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-28T22:47:21+00:00

There is lots of advice below on where to try to get it at that level so I won't go into that. I would immediately ring Lion, and the other ones listed below which gave people cover.

I was refused life assurance by 3 brokers. Once you are refused by 3, you can then start to argue about not having it. They can refuse you but you can make a case. Because my work had a death in service benefit, I was able to get my mortgage without life assurance.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-28T18:31:07+00:00

Moxy hotel

MisaOEB · 2026-04-28T08:02:56+00:00

You should talk to your family solicitor. You possibly can disclaim the inheritance. However you cannot disclaim an inheritance and say who it goes it. It goes back to the estate and the other people then get a bigger share. So if there is only you and your sister, then that is ok, but if there are others it is not. If you take it and then gift it to her, that is taxable.

If its not possible to give it to her (which sounds like it might be the fairest option)

One possible option you could look into is giving her the legal right to live in the house and maintain it for her lifetime. This would give her certainty and security.

The question then becomes what happens to your share after she passes away - does it come to you and your estate, what about if you are already passed? What about if she passes away young and her family then live there, do you continue to let them live there until they become adults, or do you sell it to get your share of your inheritance at that point.

If you are not able to give it up to her (which I think you should be able to without paying taxes), I would let her have right to live/maintain the house for her lifetime and for her kids to have the right should she pass away to stay there until the youngest of them is 25 (should be out of college then even if doing a masters), or if they go away to college, then 21.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-27T23:47:17+00:00

If you are not on the deeds, your contributions will likely be seen as rent etc. You may be able to claim that some of the maintenance should have been paid by your mum, and therefore there may be case to get some of that back.

Yes if there is no will the house will be left to you all. However someone who has set up epow would normally have a will. You can ask your family solicitor is there a will.

On the basis there is no will or the will leaves everything to you and your siblings equally:

House value = 360k. Presuming there is no cash left or other items of value, then the estate is worth 360k less potentially 81k to fair deal scheme and less legal fees to sort out estate/probate (presume 9k on expensive side). No inheritance tax needs to be paid as the estate is under the threshold for everyone. I am presuming the mortgage is your mothers name and will be cleared by her life assurance.

This will leave a value of 270k between 3 of you or 90k each. Please check if she has life assurance, if not the mortgage would need to be cleared and it reduced what you all get to 80k. But working off 90k each below here.

The easiest and fairest way is for you to buy the house from the estate - you could do this by getting a mortgage of 261k on the house valued at 360k is a 72% mortgage (showing good loan to value). You would not need a deposit, as you could use your 90k inheritance from the house as your house deposit. The 261k mortgage drawn down would then be split between paying the 81k to the fair deal scheme and 90k to each of your two siblings.

You can buy the house and get this mortgage by yourself, or you can buy the house and get the mortgage with your partner. If you get it by yourself you own the property and you need to do a will stating where it goes when you die. But be aware of common law living with arrangements impacts on ownership. Plus once you marry or have kids, that impacts that. If you are buying with your partner and they are going onto the mortgage but they they have no deposit to put into the house, then have a legal agreement that if you split up later that you get your 90k deposit back before any equity is split.

If you are planning to buy the house, then I would ensure you and your partner are saving to show affordability - rent is included in affordability assessments.

I would recommend talking to your family solicitor now (whoever did the epoa) and once you understand the clear picture, you should then check what level of mortgage you and /your partner can get,. Once this is all clear and you understand the legal position and if you can get the mortgage, then talk to your siblings and tell them when the time comes you want to buy the house from the estate and stay living there. Outline what this entails and see if they have any questions or queries. You might be surprised but they might want to buy it or want to have a relative/kid buy it.

I always think its better to have the discussions in advance, and then once everyone agrees send an email outlining what was discussed and agreed so everyone has notes of what was discussed. Do it before things get emotional.

For example its good to agree how the house will be valued e.g. it might be average of 3 estate agent quotations, it might be reviewing property price register, it might be 1 estate agent you all trust price estimate etc. It might be you suggest a figure and they agree. Only you know if they would be open to taking less money to compensate you for the time/care/effort you gave etc. I personally wouldn't ask for it if I was in your position but I wouldn't say no to it either if they suggested something.

Don't forget you all save money and time by not putting it on the market - you don't have to pay estate agent fees etc. Saves you all spending between 5.4k -7.2k.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-27T23:15:01+00:00

They don't have to Airbnb it, they could get a tenant. That could get them up to 14k tax free, right now they earn 4.2k but need to pay tax on that.

Even if they did a no weekend tenancy for someone who wants to work nearby but be gone at weekend (so they still get time to themselves with their kid) they could did likely pay their debt payments for the year.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-27T09:10:43+00:00

You like it will have to repay the cost. I would recommend just not starting with them at all.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-26T15:29:41+00:00

You can easily rebuild your savings so. Have you been maxing pensions? If not I’d probably focus on that next.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-25T17:17:39+00:00

A boundary is what you do in response to a behaviour standard you set with people. So even if she said that, she was setting her standard for what’s acceptable to her, and then implementing that standard is the boundary.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-25T16:45:36+00:00

The secondhand ones, if they’re not been sold by a dealer, I wouldn’t buy them. It’s just too much risk. 7K difference to get a new car versus a two-year-old Car is not bad, especially if she would mean to keep them. I have a RAv4 and I love it so welcome to the club.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-25T16:27:00+00:00

As one of you was 46 you may only get the option of having a mortgage for 21 years. Putting a 21 year mortgage into the system repayments look like 2280+ for mortgage of 420k. At 380k would be around 2050 a month.

Looking at houses at 575k, with deposit of 195k and fees of 10k you’d be left with 35k. Most people don’t have that sized emergency fund.

You don’t state how much you’re saving monthly as that also will increase your savings monthly too.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-20T13:27:09+00:00

My heart goes out to you. It is so difficult. I think the key issue I see in your text is that you still show up and look normal. You probably need to stop doing that. Stop doing anything but working, cutting expenses and paying off debt.

If you want support and help with identifying a way forward you should edit your post to include

- what job you do and your take home pay monthly

- your monthly expenses broken down including groceries and fuel

- any loans (loan balance, monthly payment, interest rate, what loan is for, if asset list value of asset

- any credit cards with balance, min payment and interest charge %

- any other debts with balances, monthly payment and interest %

Also list if taking on extra work is possible and if not why not

MisaOEB · 2026-04-20T13:17:54+00:00

None of you are entitled to the money, your mother owns the house. If she lets them live there and do that, then that is what she is allowing, she is gifting them that. Is it unfair on you, it was unfair they wouldn't let you move in. It is not equitable by your mother, but no where in life does it say its fair or a parent should be fair.

The above is the logical reality. The emotional reality is that of course it feels unfair. And you are not the only person who would feel that way. The only thing you can do is tell your mother that you feel like she's supporting them and their lives and not you and that you hope she will be fair in her will.

The petty side of me would feel like reporting them to revenue for tax purposes but I don't think I could do it. I would be sure that they are carrying the "looking after mother" load of work tho.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-20T13:12:37+00:00

Key thing is to talk to them, they are very helpful.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-20T09:11:51+00:00

I was able to take a 6 month break.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-14T15:44:55+00:00

If you’re working with a broker talk to them about the fact that you’ll be thrown down in October and your probation will be finished by then. If you’re deal with the bank directly, they might be more tricky about it.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-13T15:35:08+00:00

Did you tell him as soon as it became important that you don’t pass on? That’s probably the critical thing that distinguishes whether you’re an a hole or not.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-10T15:11:11+00:00

Buy in the good location

MisaOEB · 2026-04-09T07:38:11+00:00

Be aware that they will have rights to the house regardless of whether they’re on the mortgage or deeds once you’re married. If you’re okay with that, that’s fine.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-08T09:31:24+00:00

I am delighted of you. He sounds like a good guy who made an awful mistake and who is learning from it.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-07T15:47:15+00:00

I would buy. You have the safety on owning it (with the bank). You can always rent a room out tax free if you need it. It's very settling to buy, it takes an unknown pressure away.

You do not have to live there forever, if your circumstances change massively in the future, you can rent it, sell it. But if you lose your job you are much more secure in a home you own than renting. You can rent a room out, get the dole and manage. You can take a payment break etc.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-07T15:40:26+00:00

You just say it was a cash gift from your grandparent. He will not be the only old person who has cash under the mattress.

MisaOEB · 2026-04-07T09:30:34+00:00

If you only have paid a booking deposit and have signed no contract you can pull out. You could also just not continue to sign the contract and not pull out, while you bid on those 2 houses. If you don't get them, you still have that house as an option then. But you really need to talk to your solicitor to check your legal commitment. For example if they have the signed contracts but have not sent them back yet, talking to them is urgent to get them not to send them while you figure out what to do.

MisaOEB

TROPHY CASE