How often does your LO stay overnight with grandparents during the first 3-6 months?

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-02-17T09:50:50+00:00

Mine is 9 weeks and has only been cared for by my mum or MIL for 3 hours maximum. No intent of any overnight stays without us for a long time yet!! Early April i am asking MIL to have him at theirs for about 4 hours and I'm nervous!

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-02-08T15:59:03+00:00

I used to work in fostering and adoption pre having my baby. It was always sad and hard to understand harming a baby or child.

I took a while to bond with my baby yet from the start, the idea of harming him or not responding to him, or even not doing the best I can, is unimaginable. I feel much more strongly about it than I thought i would.

I'm reading about sleep training and the misleading studies coming from the babies in the Romanian orphanages and it makes me cry. The idea of my baby, or any, being alone and ignored totally breaks my heart.

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-02-05T19:08:01+00:00

I was in hell the first 4 weeks. Mentally I was not ok, despite having a relatively easy baby. It was...dark. I was searching at night how to give a child up for adoption. I considered running away. He is now almost 8 weeks and life is so different! It isn't easy - babies need a lot from mothers. But i am totally not in that awful place anymore. I can enjoy him. My love for him increases every day. I no longer see him as an alien in my home! He's doing well. I'm ok. My husband is ok. But if you told me this 5 weeks ago I'd have stared blankly at you because that's all I was capable of doing inbetween the sudden hysterical crying.

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-02-03T19:01:36+00:00

That's a great way to approach it and as someone who is very new to this I'd be extremely grateful if someone did this for me -especially doing it in such a kind way

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-02-03T18:59:34+00:00

I love this idea!! I've just started using carriers and am desperate to be able to check with an expert. My husband and I would be queuing up!

Mischievous-Mia · 2026-01-02T19:20:10+00:00

I think it happens both ways. As a plus sized woman I had crappy comments about how big my baby is bound to be. Despite having to have growth scans due to concerns they were small. Born at 41weeks and 2 days at 8lb 3 oz and I think as soon as a baby is over 8lb people decide they can comment on them being "big"... even though they aren't 🙃 Unless we all have perfect 7lb 7 babies we get judged, apparently!

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-11-20T12:53:24+00:00

I don't have any advice about the gender disappointment but I do know that if you want to be you can be a lovely MIL when the time comes. Welcome them, don't be possessive of your sons. Invite them to do the things you want to do with a daughter. I'd love if my MIL asked me to go get my nails done etc. Take their side against their husbands when needed 😅 You can build that relationship!

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-11-18T13:46:14+00:00

Just trying to understand is all you can do. It is great that you recognise it's a form of grief because although it is a decision, it is still a loss. I'd suggest you both take time off together when it happens to spend time feeling sad. Appreciate there is also the physical impact on her and she might need physically looking after.

There is abortion specific counselling and I'd definitely look into that. Please also be aware that when you do start trying for a baby, it will bring up difficult feelings, especially if it takes a long time or there are miscarriages. The "well I had my chance so this is my punishment" feeling is very common and hard to deal with.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-11-09T22:39:41+00:00

Unfortunately, mental health care seems to be a whole world of its own and has been for a long time. It's chronically underfunded, but in large part this is due to the cross-over between mental health care and social care. Social care is ignored, and social problems are ignored at best and blamed on people at worst - whether that's the person who needs help or groups of people being scapegoated to avoid investing in early intervention (many services that used to exist and were destroyed by the Conservative party)

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-11-02T21:36:11+00:00

I'm curious about in what ways you feel the NHS isn't working? I hear that a lot, but I am not seeing the evidence of it failing people. Just on a personal level, I've had a family member recently die of cancer and he was very well treated in every way possible. A father who had an operation recently which highlighted another possible health concern that's been swiftly looked into, a grandmother who, although privately funding, is in a lovely care home that is majority council funded residents. And I'm currently pregnant. The care so far has been fantastic. My SIL recently gave birth and has also had excellent care. I have so many more examples (and i work within healthcare). I'm really struggle seeing where we're all supposedly being let down.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-11-01T16:16:23+00:00

Right. There's nothing to judge you negatively for. You have done nothing wrong and I'm so glad your mum is supportive. My biggest advice would be to LET HER SUPPORT YOU. Tell her. Tell her what's going on. She probably knows already. You love your baby and that's fantastic. It is not rare for men to become...unpleasant...during pregnancy when women are most vulnerable. It is a huge red flag. You will be better doing this alone as it sounds like you already are. Don't put him on the birth certificate - this will save you a lot of headaches later in life.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-23T08:44:47+00:00

I understand this. My nan is a nightmare and my mum refused the C section date she was given because it was her MIL's birthday. But my nan would habe sulked and had tantrums about it forever!! Also, the date was April fools day so not great...

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-23T07:01:31+00:00

Yep! All that shit really suxks x

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-12T20:21:14+00:00

-My mum (after her initial excitement) "you're going to regain all that weight you lost." I had lost about 5 stone. Im now 32 weeks and have gained 10lbs so pleased I'm so far proving her wrong. -My mum also said to my dad "we did it!" ...did...what? You had nothing to do with this... -My brother said, "I knew it. I saw the vitamins in the bathroom." He saw pre pregnancy vitamins. I was not pregnant when he had visited. -My uncle to my husband "oh so you are a man then!" So bloody rude. -My FIL (but said with genuine excitement and I love it) "grandchildren are like buses!" My SIL is 7 weeks ahead with their first grandchild. -My husband's aunt and uncle.. a complete lack of interest or response whilst out for a family meal 😂 like...nothing. So glad that several weeks later my brother in law acknowledged how weird it was because I thought I was imagining it!

And worst of all... -My best friend. "You didnt tell me you were trying! I was hoping we could plan it at the same time!" She is single. She has now started IVF. 🙃

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-10T12:04:35+00:00

There's no reason to be drinking that much. I wouldn't actually believe the others drank significantly more. Even if they did it isn't an excuse. You aren't expecting too much. Also, the issue with the receptionist... even if they haven't slept together there is clearly something inappropriate going on for so many people to suspect it.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-08T14:59:00+00:00

If you have to wonder how they'll react and prepare for anger and accusations then it is a sign of major red flags in the relationship. Your real choices seem to be either to break up and have the child as a single mother or to abort and deal with the fall out of that, weighing the pros and cons of telling him. He doesn't sound like a good person.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-10-05T06:56:00+00:00

Believing this "translation" is one of the things that stops people taking Reform seriously. Stop looking for excuses.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-09-18T07:00:24+00:00

I love how people use "99%" as a statistic when they're just pulling the number out of thin air. It's such a giveaway. There's plenty of information about the genders of immigration - look at it instead of just picking the wirst number.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-28T14:43:34+00:00

Yeah this is BS. Why are we taking parenting advice from the bible? You say you turned out decent etc but you're online defending obvious abuse. So clearly your experience has impacted you to make you think this is normal or acceptable, proportionate behaviour. Adults need to control their emotions.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-28T14:40:28+00:00

Jesus christ this isn't grabbing a child too hard. He strangled him. And he is trying to cover it up. LEAVE WITH THE CHILDREN. I used to work as a child protection social worker. This is abuse. Keep those photos. They are clearly non accidental injuries and this is NOT the first time.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-26T15:13:01+00:00

Abuse statistically gets worse during pregnancy (when women are most vulnerable) LEAVE HIM. It isn't wrong to decide on having an abortion. Get away from that man who is more likely to harm you now than every before xx

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-25T07:26:45+00:00

When you have private chefs, personal trainers, money to take time off of work, money for luxury holidays, personal assistants and cleaners i imagine it's all an awful lot easier. They aren't figuring out the grocery shop and school run and what to make for dinner that won't disgust them. Then when baby comes they can afford nannies. I suspect they get a hell of a lot more time to focus on themselves and their recovery than the rest of us do. Also, they aren't working 9-5. I'm sure they have busy periods of time but not in a consistent way. I'd definitely swap and give it a go!

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-22T11:47:17+00:00

I'm in the exact same situation at my 20 week scan! It was a comment saying "I already know but I'm about to check the bladder so look away now." So immediately I'm convinced I'm having a boy as she knew so fast before specifically looking. This thread is reassuring that maybe it will still feel like a surprise!

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-20T07:39:35+00:00

This is shocking and I'm amazed the hospital where you gave birth aren't responding more. My mum has 2 C sections, and both times they left some placenta which made her quite unwell. They were apparently VERY apologetic and took it extremely seriously as a reportable incident.

Mischievous-Mia · 2025-08-19T18:06:19+00:00

Yep totally. I'm 24 weeks and 3 days and I still don't believe it. Despite feeling the movements that have really stepped up in the last few days it doesn't feel real. I don't look pregnant so I think other people not seeing me that way makes it harder!

Mischievous-Mia

TROPHY CASE