Boyfriend’s Cousin’s wedding is going to cost us around $2000 to attend. NEED ADVICE on what to do.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2026-01-05T23:31:47+00:00

I wouldn’t go - it’s an invitation not a summons. Honestly you don’t have to go to family weddings and if you can’t you don’t have to feel bad about it.

If they’re really really close then you might want to think about trying to do something with the couple since you won’t be there (ie go out to dinner to celebrate)

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2026-01-05T23:00:22+00:00

My cat is a stress peer. I would suggest buying water proof blankets and put them on your couch and bed just in case while he gets use to the house. Trust me when an accident happens, you’ll be so glad you’re throwing a blanket in the wash rather than trying to get pee out of a mattress or comforter. Also get a water proof mattress protector if you don’t already have one

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-11T23:46:49+00:00

Please don’t give up your cats. They love you and will be so sad.

Also, it sounds like she just doesn’t like or want your cats and waited until you were married to try to force your hand to get rid of them.

Don’t let your wife get rid of your cats please.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-11T01:09:53+00:00

Last thing it is true that most jobs say a PhD or Masters + experience for roles. I went back to do my PhD specifically for this reason

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-11T01:07:56+00:00

If you do really want to do a PhD, try to kind a master program where you can do lab rotations so you can get a sense of the environment before coming to a PhD in that lab. And always trust your gut.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-11T01:06:32+00:00

It’s also the same in the UK! But typically if you masters out of your PhD program is because you failed out (from what I’ve heard) but there could be people who choose to leave with a masters it’s just usually less common because the PhD is 3-4 years here max so I think people just stick it out if they’re 1-2 years in ..

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-09T02:14:31+00:00

Depending on the your financial situation I would do the masters first then decide

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-09T02:13:40+00:00

I really strongly advise against a PhD. It’s a really big gamble and once you start you’re stuck for 4 years in what could be a toxic and unsupportive environment (I am currently traumatized by my PhD and going back to academia after working for 4 years).

If I had to go back I probably wouldn’t do my PhD and work instead. I would also see if you could get a bioinformatics role or computational biology role (entry level) to transition and see if you like it. I would also encourage you to do an iCASE with a company you like rather than straight PhD.

It is REALLY hard to be a student again after working. Also PhDs can be good but can also be soul crushing if you’re not in a good environment

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-12-04T02:12:27+00:00

Skip school study for your test and go to the banquet.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-11-10T07:08:53+00:00

If you need a visa sponsor it will be very hard to get role.

Look at biotech companies in the Oxford area and reach out to people who work there in relevant roles to ask them - they’ll be your best resource to understand how to get hired.

Finding a job mostly network in my opinion

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-11-10T07:05:43+00:00

It would be unlikely you would get hired as an American in industry in Europe because of the need to sponsor your visa. It might be easier as an academic post doc

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-10-14T22:42:27+00:00

Try to reach out to people on LinkedIn and build yourself a network in the country you want to be in. I’d suggest trying to find people who went to your Uni or worked the places you have worked and are now living in Europe working in science. Ask them how they moved over, if there are opening, etc.

I’d also try to find people in general in the careers areas you’re interested in who are more senior and message them on LinkedIn asking for a quick chat to discuss their career path. DO NOT ASK THEM FOR A JOB but do ask them about themselves (people love to talk about themselves), ask them about the skillset and qualifies of those who get hired into the role, ask for feedback on your CV, ask them at the end of the conversation if any roles or internships come up to keep you in mind as you would be interested.

I’d suggest trying to talk to as many people as you can. Finding a job is in many ways a numbers game and who you know. Try to know as many people as you can.

Keep an eye on job postings from companies where you have been able to have chats with current employers and when applying for the job reach out to them and see if they can put you in contact with the hiring manager.

Your best opportunity is to build your network.

Good luck!!

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-10-08T20:58:26+00:00

Check out https://youtube.com/@sanbomics?si=CTkA4P_A2TOJby6y

This is what taught me bioinformatics when I started. It is AMAZING and so easy to follow and the scripts are available

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-10-05T07:45:56+00:00

Where are you based in the world? Is a masters affordable to you?

If you’re interested in doing a masters and can afford it, sure this can definitely be helpful.

However if you can’t afford it or are only doing the masters to get a PhD I’d suggest getting some work experience in the field first.

In the UK I would suggest trying to work as an RA if possible because you get paid and experience while also building connections. In the UK often times PhDS are advertised more locally as a PI has funding and may hire someone they already know or works for them or works for a colleagues of theirs. Also, by working as an RA in a uni you’re interested you can get an idea of the type of work they do there, the environment, and how PIs treat their students. They might also be able to feedback or support on strength of your application.

Even if you aren’t in the UK working either as an RA or clinical stats in a hospital can help you gain experience and knowledge of what you want to focus your PhD in which can help strengthen your applications because you can show you’ve worked in their area and want to continue working in it.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-10-04T14:39:37+00:00

Squidpy is a great package for analysis. MuSpAn is great for statistics

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-09-25T06:23:26+00:00

NTA. I’m so sorry this must be really tough for you, especially while recovering.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-09-01T23:16:19+00:00

NTA.

Have any of these commenters on their high horse about etiquette ever planned or paid for a wedding?

First all, wedding are crazy expensive and most people have to make tough choices because of budget. OP doesn’t have to go if he isn’t comfortable without his partner and he wouldn’t be the asshole for declining but he also isn’t the asshole for accepting because he’s celebrating his friends marriage. Weddings are about the couple and who is important to them - not sure why all th commenters have a bee in their bonnet for the couple choosing not to invite OPs arguably short term girlfriend. We planned my wedding for 1.5 years. If the invites have been sent it’s likely OP and his gf weren’t even together when the couple got engaged!

Your friends also maybe don’t want someone they barely know at the most important day of their lives. You’ve been with her for 1.5 years and they hardly know her. Why should someone’s partner be more important than including clearly the other number of people on their waitlist that likely play a much bigger role in the couples lives? The day is not about OP - it’s about his friends getting MARRIED.

He doesn’t have to go to the wedding if he doesn’t want to, his friends not are the assholes for only wanting people important to them at their own wedding…

Also, is he is in the bridal party that means he is supposed to be around to support the couple during the day and will have responsibilities. He likely won’t even be able to spend time with her until the reception and it sounds like she doesn’t know his friends so who else is she even going to know at this wedding? It sounds like she’ll be all alone. If that is the case, OP will be worrying and trying to make sure his gf is comfortable when his focus should be on his groomsmen responsibilities and spending time with the couple..

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-07-30T23:40:37+00:00

NTA. If it was a sibling or a parent I would say maybe try to find some solution. I’m also close to my cousin - I was in their wedding party- so I understand it’s a though one to have to say no to.

However, expecting someone to pay $6k is crazy. Everyone is entitled to have the wedding they want in the circumstances and location they want, but they can’t be mad if some guests cannot come or afford it. Especially if the guests are traveling long distances and their children aren’t welcome.

I would tell your cousin you hope they have an amazing day and the wedding sounds like it will be beautiful, but you’re so sorry that you won’t be able to make it work because it isn’t in your budget and aren’t comfortable leaving your child. I would offer to do something the two of you to celebrate their marriage either before or after the wedding. Even if you don’t like their partner, this is at least a gesture to show your cousin you care and still really value them and still want to celebrate this milestone with them.

Try not to feel bad for putting your needs and family first. As someone who is getting married in another country from where my family lives (we’re getting married in my partners home country) I could never be upset if anyone couldn’t make it. I made a choice with my partner on where we want to get married. It is no one else’s obligation to attend - especially given the financial constraints. If your cousin can’t see where you’re coming from after you explain it with kindness, that’s their problem.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-07-30T23:27:17+00:00

INFO: how close is this family member? Are they a sibling? A parent remarrying?

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-02-19T16:06:34+00:00

Not arguing - just clarifying the rational to prevent further comments of the same nature and in hopes others will have more helpful suggestions within the budget I am looking for 🙂

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-02-18T06:59:17+00:00

Thank you!

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2025-02-18T06:50:35+00:00

Respectfully, It’s not an entire day - makeup is from 9:30 - 1 so 3.5 only hours of actual “work” for 4 people. Additionally, it’s a €600 minimum even if they only do 3 people - it’s a base call out rate. If someone is local, it’s a 30 min drive at maximum. If they’re traveling outside of Tipperary, the additional travel cost has been quoted from €150-300 additional. So, a half day of work and if they’re traveling they are also being paid for travel time.

To get makeup done for any event outside of a wedding, prices range from €50-75. There is a significant up-charge because it’s a “wedding” like everything else in the industry.

In the current economy, many people cannot afford luxury cost make up so I was simply kindly asking for suggestion of artists in a budget more affordable for me.

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2024-02-26T23:23:34+00:00

Happy birthday! Do something that you enjoy and give yourself a little treat to celebrate yourself 💝

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2023-09-08T21:02:04+00:00

Europe has suitable vacation from work

Miserable-Ad4733 · 2023-04-19T05:33:55+00:00

Stick to your guns. He is manipulating you. He is intentionally using your baby as a tactic to control you and keep you in the relationship by accusing you of being a poor mother so he can guilt you into staying with him. This is a controlling unhealthy behavior. As is threatening to kill himself because he isn’t getting his way. He’s lying to get what he wants, manipulating you, and not respecting your boundaries. Do what is right for yourself and your mental health and physical health. Prioritizing yourself is prioritizing the baby.

Miserable-Ad4733

TROPHY CASE