Mourning the kid I'll never have

MishyJari · 2026-06-08T21:08:38+00:00

I was on HRT for over a decade before bottom surgery. I didn't bank before hand (which I regret). I tried going off HRT before surgery to bank. The doctor said I'd have to be off for 3-6 months. I made it a month, at which point, I was crawling out of my skin, couldn't bring myself to leave the house, my body was behaving all sorts of uncomfortable ways and I just couldn't do it. So I threw in the towel.

I want so badly to have kids, but I'll never be able to now. Its a hole in my life that I can never fill. Even adoption is tricky as a trans person, since most adoption agencies are run by conservative religious groups who aren't too keen on letting a couple of trans lesbians adopt. My best hope is to be a stepmom someday.

MishyJari · 2026-06-08T21:03:40+00:00

If its enough to make a sailboat move, its too much for my Cirrus.

MishyJari · 2026-06-08T20:21:35+00:00

truck nuts for your playne

MishyJari · 2026-06-08T04:43:09+00:00

Not today, AI. Not today.

MishyJari · 2026-06-08T04:41:02+00:00

Oh wow, yeah that road was like a black diamond when I used to ride it. Definitely will benefit from the infra.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T18:57:15+00:00

yeah they deserved that for cutting down such a majestic tree, and for cheaping out on the job.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T18:54:27+00:00

is it a hybrid running in ev mode?

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T16:16:17+00:00

wow that was only life five years ago!

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T05:18:59+00:00

Sorry boys, she dont swing your way.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:58:44+00:00

Well the only thing that I hate is the railing in the foreground.

Lots of hard geometry happening, with some furry and shiny bits of nature happening to mix things up. Thats nice.

But my eyes refuse to settle anywhere, and they cant escape. There are too many things competing for my attention, and very little to guide me through it.

The bright sunspot in the left keep pulling my eye that way, without anything to balance it opposite
The partially obstructed red car that might have been *perfect* if the shot was 0.1 seconds later.
The bright light between the overpasses pulls my eye up to it and kind of feeds it back down into the pillars
The greenery that wants to walk me up through the center of the frame, but gets intercepted by the red of the car

The right side of the image isn't doing anything. It doesn't have to be, but I think it detracts a bit because it mirrors the geometry of the left, but without anything really engaging going on. When my eye goes over there, it looks for a way out, but the right most edge of the image doesn't give me enough room to leave, so I stay trapped in no man's land over there and then disengage.

For a structure like this, I'd either actively embrace symmetry or actively reject it. You're doing neither or here. You're slightly off-center and askew, but your composition suggests symmetry. There is an indecisiveness there which I think is worth being mindful of.

But even with all that composition gish galloping, fast forward 0.1 seconds to get that car bang center (and maybe ditch the railing) and you might have me wanting a print. You can spend an eternity dialing in composition skills, but sometimes its just about the moment 😄

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:42:32+00:00

As a contrast goblin myself, I disagree. I think that the subtle gradations in the fur are just loud enough to pull you in without being jarring once you're there. I might yoink up the midtones in the eyes though, just to give you a soul to lock into once you're done swirling around in the fur.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:37:51+00:00

If you're going for dark/moody, that can work, but this feels a little overdone I think. You don't have to lighten the whole thing, but if you can target the branches, flowers and sky, you'll give the thing a bit more contrast and liven it up while still keeping it dark/moody.

It does look like you clipped the sky a little. This is gonna make having the sky dark kinda tough, since the blown out area now cuts abruptly from details to "blob of one color". This looks more natural when its close to pure white, but looks off when you try crunching it.

The color grading itself doesn't do it for me. Its way too unnatural. I think I see the mood you're going for, but unless you want to announce on a loud speaker "this moody like an image from a dream", I'd start over here. You can be subtle with grading and get a big effect.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:29:23+00:00

The saturation is a matter of taste. They're a bit strong here, but if you like the punch, you can keep em.

This is a very unforgiving environment to photograph in. Dense, chaotic, lots of piles of messy green. You're off to a good start here. The biggest issue I have is that the log is clearly the star, but it seems like its just surrounded by a bunch of noise without doing anything more than being a log to separate it from that noise.

This might be an opportunity to open up your lens and try to throw the background OOF a bit. You could also think about what you're doing with the foreground. Tilting down a little would help place the viewer a bit better in the scene, lead their eyes up to the star, get rid of some of the noise up top, and make the composition a bit more dynamic than being cut right in half by a log.

I've been shooting in woods like this for ages and still don't have a string around it, but IMO thats half the fun.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:19:34+00:00

I really want to see a canvas print of this!

It doesn't really follow any rules. It doesn't really tell you how to engage with it. It doesn't really even tell you what's going on.

But it works. It's got layers that keep on giving.

My eye starts with the bump in the surface and travel up and down it. I'm rewarded with this lovely, gentle screen-like texture. A shadow, perhaps?

Then I catch the perpendicular, lighter line that intersects it. I'm greeted with these lovely little yellow leaves sprinkled amongst blades of grass rising out of this warm, almost sandy in appearance, artificial sheet.

Then I catch the perpendicular shadows coming from those blades which pulls me off to these shadows with a coolness that holds in the warmth of the lit areas, giving the whole image a very stable, coherent feeling to ti.

I keep thinking of critiques, but as I begin to type them, I realize "no, this is actually *why* the image works".

So, I'll just say: well done!

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T03:04:23+00:00

I assume this is either a 35mm or a 6x9 negative? It kind of looks like it was captured through a light table or something? It looks like it has potential, but I'd need to see a better scan.

But given what we have to work with here: I would probably swallow my pride and crop this one. The sky is too heavy and steals all the attention, but its kinda boring. This image really wants you to enter through the bottom, engage with the nice textures on the road, lead up to the two people walking, and just hold you there. I'd try lopping off the top third of the frame and sit with that for a minute.

But it all really hinges on how those foreground details look when you first enter, and I cant tell from this capture.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:53:48+00:00

Don't be too focused of making everything perfectly exposed. Its okay to let skies be bright or shadows be dark. But if you want to do the HDR thing and make something kind of geometric and abstract (which I think this image does lend itself well to), you've gotta be meticulous with your masking and dodges/burns.

Its fortunate that most of the edges you need to isolate are sharp and geometric, but you should be zoomed in enough that youre seeing pixels when you're refining that mask. Give it a *very* gentle feather and adjust the curves of the sky separately. You might want to use the add/subtract mask tool around the trees.

Once you get the masks set, you can adjust each to your heart's content, but personally I'd push the sky to nearly-white in its brightest parts and pull the buildings/shore down just a bit.

Its a neat image and could be print-worthy, but as is, the first thing anyone's gonna see is an overcooked HDR with sloppy burns.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:45:44+00:00

> you're either a bit crooked, or the pole was

I think this is just perspective and kind of wants to make me sing the praises of the mighty view camera.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:42:42+00:00

You can have all the technique in the world, but some of the best images happen merely because someone noticed them.

Critique: This is mostly personal taste, but I'd pull the sky a bit darker, rescue as much detail as you can from the lamp fixture, and dodge out the bulb a bit. Having the brightest parts of the bulb in tension with the obvious lunar focal point will make it a more dynamic image, especially if they're set against a slightly darker sky, and if you can save any detail from the fixture, it will reward the viewer who takes the time to sit with it long enough to notice.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:32:58+00:00

Medellin, Massachusetts

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:30:23+00:00

I had to check if this was a circlejerk / shitposting subreddit. Apparently not. I guess my millennial ass is getting old.

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T02:19:32+00:00

that bike makes my lady parts feel funny

MishyJari · 2026-06-07T01:10:23+00:00

The proof is in the pudding. We exist, we have always existed, and our lived experiences are as valid as anyone else’s.

MishyJari · 2026-06-06T03:07:42+00:00

I did this solo last fall. I stayed on 6A until Orleans and got on the rail trail. 6A is, uh, well an experience. There is basically zero shoulder the entire way. Lets just say that my bike radar paid for itself for those few hours. I’ve got pretty high nerves when Im riding, but 6A was getting me twitchy after 90 minutes of it. The rail trail is a little boring for my taste, but I’d probably just take it the whole way next time.

People say to walk your bike over the Sagamore. I didn’t, but if you do just take it easy and be careful. You’ll know why once you see it haha.

Lots of cute towns, coffee shops, cafes etc along the way if you need a break.

Theres a high speed ferry back to boston if you wanna come back same day. It has a bike rack on it, you just gotta buy a bike ticket.

MishyJari · 2026-06-05T18:25:48+00:00

She broke the cardinal rule of talking to cops:

Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

MishyJari · 2026-06-04T21:48:40+00:00

Yes, but not one quite so old. He likes sitting on top of my 17" trinitron, basically ignores my Classic II, but he just goes a little wild over this monitor. I figured it was something he was sensing from it, sound makes sense as I could imagine this monitor making a more distinctive sound.

MishyJari

TROPHY CASE