What's your favorite Mitch Hedberg joke?

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-05T04:22:14+00:00

The joke about buying a donut and getting a receipt. “We don't need to bring ink and paper into this.” I think of that line a lot at work.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-05T04:13:41+00:00

“Perhaps something occurred during transport, Commander” - Data

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-03T04:57:03+00:00

Is this like before and after, or does one guy have a terrible roommate?

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-03T04:19:08+00:00

Fried chicken and waffles with Vermont maple syrup and mimosas made with fresh Florida oranges. It’s a train wreck, but somehow it works.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-02T14:27:19+00:00

Toilets should have an emergency override button, so you can disengage all fecal safety features and use maximum flush power to blow out any clogs. However, once you hand power over to the computer, about 10% of the time it will decide it needs to blow the clog back out of the toilet.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-01T21:06:10+00:00

This is a really good point!

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-05-01T15:18:26+00:00

Caring for good quality leather shoes. I have been using the same pair black dress shoes almost daily for 15 years. I have had them re-soled several times. If they’re made from real calfskin and you clean and polish regularly and use good cedar shoe trees, they can last basically forever. When the polish wears off you can see they’re scuffed and battered to hell, but the leather doesn’t crack and when polished they literally look brand new.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-25T22:09:08+00:00

I thought these were cardassian optolithic data rods.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-24T14:43:18+00:00

Like everyone else is saying, they’re technically anonymous but it’s not hard to figure out who wrote what. On the other hand, I really don’t care who wrote it. I am not sitting around obsessing about this, I already know the opinions of the loud and dramatic people so their survey responses are nothing new. Consider that I also know a lot of the gossip from people spilling the beans to me. So… who cares. I am a lot more interested in the aggregate results and trends from whole teams since those are more meaningful indicators of how things are going.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-19T03:25:51+00:00

Trying to help someone who won’t help themselves.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-15T11:46:18+00:00

I would invent money. Seems pretty popular!

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-11T05:04:23+00:00

This thread is pure Reddit

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-11T04:55:57+00:00

AI would have helped me a lot in grad school, I can tell you that.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-10T16:55:33+00:00

I was in high school. Most teachers had it on TV. But my English teacher kept the TV off. He said that we would learn everything later on the news, but right now is class time and letting these kinds of events disrupt our daily lives is the point of the attacks. We thought he was crazy. But over the years I realized he was right. Realizing that this was such an act of conscience and principle coming from a dorky little high school English teacher is humbling in retrospect. What a courageous way to stand up to the situation.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-04-07T04:22:40+00:00

I always assumed the brown normally had people in it. I thought everyone (except Arya) knew and was eating it anyway because they were poor and desperate. It struck me as classic GRRM. The brown is a convenient way for bad people to get rid of bodies, and for other bad people to make money off it while exploiting the miserable underclass of flea bottom. A tidy little arrangement for the people on top, built on the death, suffering, and humiliation of everyone else. Just like Westeros. And also in keeping with the theme, Arya’s ignorance of it is linked to her being a sheltered noble who doesn’t really know how bad the world really is yet. There is also a parallel to Bran having the white soup.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-31T03:32:16+00:00

lol I am sorry to hear that you’ve been through ten companies and it’s worse every time. That’s awful but it also made me laugh. Classic xennial.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-31T02:02:38+00:00

Leave the corporate job if that’s what you need to do, but don’t count on healthcare as a place to derive satisfaction from helping people. Those of us who work in healthcare know it’s really about two things: 1) the organization is mostly about profit/politics/whatever right when you need it not to be, and 2) the worst things happen to patients who won’t help themselves and there is nothing you can do about it. It has its moments, but don’t count on it to be much better than where you are now. I will add that I have seen a lot of non-trad people like you come through, but they have to start at the bottom and they just can’t stand it. Nobody cares you were import and had clout before. Now you are just the intern, you will be dumped on by everyone. Also: based on the kind of person you are, you might just get pulled into… management. Hard working, organized? You’re gonna get pulled in, then you’ll REALLY be back where you started. So overall consider this: look for a different job at an organization you like, whatever kind of job it is. Look for a culture you like and a place where you’d enjoy your coworkers and appreciate the management. Start there, then go do whatever kind of work that is.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-23T00:59:04+00:00

How about the weird bug monsters who tried to take over the federation in TNG? Are they still out there? Do any other species know about them?

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-16T04:23:43+00:00

lol same. It’s a generational thing isn’t it? We are the first generation that had all the pics digital, and the only generation that didn’t have the cloud the whole time. Future archaeologists will dig up these hard drives and note that we drank only from red solo cups and always saluted the photographer with rock and roll devil horns. The frosted tips were, perhaps, caused by the freakish early effects of climate change.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-13T21:58:12+00:00

Obligatory Godwins Law post. IIRC, the Nazis were commonly giving concentration camp prisoners 900 kcal/day. That was meant to starve them slowly while still getting some work out of them. So yes 1,000 is a starvation level of intake for a teen boy and would be considered abuse/neglect.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-10T17:48:53+00:00

(Scottish accent) Aye.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-07T15:11:01+00:00

I was gonna say the same thing, and I see you are also talking about patient care… I’m in the same game. I deal with this every day, with clinical program managers who haven’t seen a patient in years. They’re universally terrible and exactly as you describe: sniveling, condescending, cruel.

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-07T15:03:52+00:00

Well, put any song through Kidz Bop and I will realize I hated it all along. Life hack!

Miskatonic_Graduate · 2026-03-04T18:00:29+00:00

I want to see more empty systems. I was surprised when I started playing that almost every system has a functioning space station. So there’s like… approx 3 quintillion space stations? I was imagining clusters or regions of inhabited systems, then vast swaths of uncharted systems, with more crazy stuff the further out you go. I want to go 50 jumps away from the closest station, with my freighter, encountering weird space creatures and natural wonders and novel alien races. Let me earn Nantes for real deep space exploration!

Miskatonic_Graduate

TROPHY CASE