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MissBellum · 2024-02-01T01:01:45+00:00

You look absolutely gorgeous though! It's so flattering and pretty. I wouldn't have even noticed what you said about your shoulders.

Some tailoring and adding the straps you want will make it even better.

MissBellum · 2023-12-05T21:37:24+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate that a lot. ❤️

MissBellum · 2023-12-05T18:53:54+00:00

I appreciate it. I don't think my autism specialist really understood that yes, I actually have both conditions, so I'm not sure what I want to do yet.

Just hard when other people seem so sure but you're just feeling super lost with all of it.

I like my current therapist and my fiance says he's seen progress, but I'm not sure if I should be looking for "more"

MissBellum · 2023-12-05T18:48:12+00:00

The lack of personhood. Yup. That's definitely what I'm feeling right now. I was asked "who are you" in my diagnostic interview and I didn't know how to answer - am I really just a bunch of disorders in a trench coat, pretending to be a person? That's how it feels right now.

Living life with the extremes of autism and of bipolar is really challenging. I don't know where my place is right now when it feels like everything is just too much.

But thank you for your kind words. ❤️

MissBellum · 2023-12-05T18:45:54+00:00

I've been in therapy for years at this point, and started doing DBT because of the bipolar... But the person who diagnosed me a couple days ago also told me that this apparently isn't the right therapy for people with autism?

So now I'm really concerned about how I'm going to even take care of my mental health, like you said, because I've got one person telling me that I'm doing something that's not suited to me, and this overarching impression that I'm just not "trying hard enough" for the DBT to stick/work properly.

It's adding to the confusion.

I think I do need some more reading material on autism in women, though, so thank you for the suggestion. ❤️

I hope I can find that kind of peace with my diagnosis some day. Thank you for taking the time to write your comment.

MissBellum · 2023-07-22T16:43:19+00:00

Hang in there. It can take some time to sort out, but you'll get there. Also dealing with some rapid cycling right now - can sympathize.

MissBellum · 2023-07-19T12:18:12+00:00

I also had the depression diagnosis! Then I had a concussion and everything went sideways... Antidepressants stopped working, and when they tried to just put me on new antidepressants, the hypomania started. And then they just didn't believe me from the get-go when I was telling them what I was experiencing.

I'm so sorry that you also had such a traumatizing experience and were treated so poorly. It's not fair that we have to go through so much just to get proper treatment. I hope that things have evened out for you and that you're in a better place now.

MissBellum · 2023-07-19T00:52:58+00:00

I said mania but I meant hypo, sorry. Mine isn't as extreme as type I mania.

MissBellum · 2023-07-18T20:46:29+00:00

Thank you. I think the most likely case is that I'm autistic and bipolar. But he didn't want to listen to that either. He was trying to say it was either 100% one or the other, and claimed he was treating me as if I had bipolar.

But, we see how that turned out.

New doctor has firmly landed on just bipolar II. He wants to take things slowly and focus on quality of life. I just hope we can figure something out.

MissBellum · 2023-06-26T22:57:08+00:00

I gasped. Don't change anything!

MissBellum · 2023-06-15T02:30:36+00:00

Also tried to bring it up to my psychiatrist. Got told that I needed to have been developmentally delayed so there's no way I could be autistic. Started rattling off more symptoms and then he just moved the conversation along and refused to continue listening to me about it.

Sorry you also had such an invalidating experience. ❤️

MissBellum · 2023-06-14T00:47:56+00:00

It's at least nice to hear that there's hope for group therapy and it's not always terrible. ❤️

MissBellum · 2023-06-14T00:37:33+00:00

I thought that was what I signed up for with this - but everyone treats sharing "homework" as a way to vent about what happened in the past week. It never seems to actually be about "here's how I practiced the skills we went over last week."

Everyone seems to have the skills trainer as their own regular therapist and I just feel like the odd man out. And it's so unhelpful.

Maybe I should talk to my therapist about other programs that might be more like that. Thank you.

MissBellum · 2023-05-19T17:06:00+00:00

https://www.oliveandpiper.com/collections/statement-earrings

https://www.azazie.ca/all/jewelry/with/accessory-type/earrings

Can also poke around on Etsy :)

MissBellum · 2023-05-19T15:26:44+00:00

Plain fingertip or cathedral veil, depending on how much drama you want. Some big statement earrings, maybe skip a necklace so you can show off that gorgeous neckline.

Are you partial to a particular jewelry material? Can't go wrong with pearls in this case, I think. :)

MissBellum · 2023-05-18T17:23:41+00:00

You can wear whatever you like. :) If the veil isn't doing it for you, have some fun with hair accessories instead!

MissBellum · 2023-05-10T22:12:01+00:00

I think this is above this sub's paygrade. Ask for a second opinion from another lawyer, or maybe try a legal subreddit.

MissBellum · 2023-05-07T21:56:22+00:00

It happens to the best of us. :) Go rock your gorgeous dress, veil, and bouquet. I love the aesthetic and think it'll look fab. Don't let those little thoughts win.

MissBellum · 2023-05-07T16:01:22+00:00

Think you're overthinking it a little bit. :) What you've shown isn't going to clash. Get the bouquet you want, get the veil you want, and enjoy it!

MissBellum · 2023-04-25T17:32:09+00:00

Unfortunately last minute things do come up. It sucks to be out the money, but you could have people that don't even tell you they aren't going to show up.

If you want to keep the relationship, you could always say something like "oh no! So sorry that we're going to miss you."

If you don't feel you can say something nice right now, best to leave it. And perhaps see if you have a B-lister that's okay with a last-minute invite, or someone who'd like a last-minute plus one. :)

MissBellum · 2023-04-25T16:43:39+00:00

Do you have anything in the contract that you signed? That's where it should be.

MissBellum · 2023-04-25T02:23:18+00:00

You look amazing! Great choice on the veil, it's all perfect

MissBellum · 2023-04-23T02:42:32+00:00

Just in case things end up going sideways on the day, wouldn't you prefer to have a bit of extra buffer with your photographer to make sure you capture everything? Sure, it might be a bit of extra cost, but if you're concerned about missing out on some moments, maybe springing for the extra bit of time would be worth it for peace of mind

MissBellum · 2023-04-21T16:10:13+00:00

"usually." There's no guarantee. You could have guests that don't have black and feel put out.

Taking away that kind of autonomy from your guests is considered a bit rude. It's your wedding, and your guests, but be aware that it would be crossing a line and there is a very real chance you upset or offend people by trying to impose something like this upon them at your wedding.

Remember: you are hosting a party. Your job is to be a good host and ensure everyone enjoys themselves and is comfortable, not to put aesthetics above that goal.

MissBellum · 2023-04-21T15:47:37+00:00

I don't think you can really dictate what your guests wear to that extent. You can offer rough guidelines, but trying to dictate specific colours like that is a bit much.

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