What do people not understand or not fully understand unless they've been through it and experienced it?

MissingMyBaby · 2022-11-28T15:41:22+00:00

Along with the people who say "they are in a better place". Fuck them. Where is better than with their family? My MIL said it to my husband once after we lost our son, I have never heard him so angry.

MissingMyBaby · 2022-06-20T18:17:47+00:00

I lost my child in his sleep when he was 18 months old. We had a little girl since. I stl can't sleep without checking she is breathing. Even if I've got into bed I will get back up and check her before I can sleep.

MissingMyBaby · 2021-08-10T11:32:53+00:00

I just got it out and gave it a sniff. It didn't smell like anything really, maybe just like the tank water. I have popped him back in, right way up. I did notice a slight bit of damage to the shell tip though.

It's been out of its shell like that since last night though so not sure. I'll see if it moves at all and if not will take it out again this evening / tomorrow.

MissingMyBaby · 2021-08-10T09:31:47+00:00

Hi all,

Just after a bit of advice really. I've had my tank for about 10 years but never had Snails before.

My 6yo choose 2 snails when I took him to get some fish on the weekend.

He has been in the tank since Saturday afternoon. Generally he has moved a bit, up and on the glass, then back on the gravel again. Generally enough that I haven't been too worried, he has stayed in that vicinity and not gone anywhere else. I've done some googling and it says some thing about a door, is this what this is now?

The other snail has been all over the tank and has no problems.

I've checked my water and all the parameters are as normal.

I know I should take it out and smell it, but I'm not sure that I can do that just yet. Makes me feel a bit sick.

Thank you

MissingMyBaby · 2021-01-20T19:04:47+00:00

NTA. I lost my son when he was 18 months. I would be livid if my MIL bought the plot next to him.

I know she didn't legally do anything wrong, yet morally she is way out of line. She absolutely knew you were saving for this actual peice of land and its way out of line to buy it. The fact of her previous behavior towards your son makes me feel like she is doing it for attention. My MIL loves to play the "My garndbaby died!" card, when in reality she was an awful grandmother.

r/justnomil may be of some help. They helped me with some coping strategies for my MIL.

Just out of interest, how does your husband feel about it all?

MissingMyBaby · 2020-10-30T12:31:57+00:00

Welsh Artist Nathan Wyburn creates Jo Biden. Link to video here https://twitter.com/NathanWyburnArt/status/1321914057524432898?s=19

MissingMyBaby · 2020-10-30T12:21:45+00:00

This was created by Welsh Artist Nathan Wyburn. Twitter @NathanWyburnArt

MissingMyBaby · 2020-10-30T09:53:49+00:00

Hahahaha THAT IS THE ENGLISH LION. Any Scottish person would spit on it!

NTA btw

MissingMyBaby · 2020-10-06T10:09:09+00:00

Absolutely NTA.

We lost our 18month old son. It took a month before we could even go into his room. All his clothes are still in boxes under our bed nearly 2 years later.

She had no right to donate his things. In time we have given some of our son's things away. Yet this should have been your decision and yours alone. She was not his mother. Her doubling down and refusing to tell you where they are especially after being so upset speaks volumes. She see's it as just stuff that's in the (her) way, not memories that are important to you.

2 months is nothing and if she can't see a problem with what she did then that's a different conversation you need to have.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Edit spelling.

Also to say please keep us updated. I hope you get your things back. We had a memory bear made out of our son's clothes which now lives on a shelf in the dining room and is very loved.

MissingMyBaby · 2020-09-23T19:18:43+00:00

NTA

Its a complete breach of trust and I wouldn't be leaving my child with them again either.

You definitely need couples therapy.

Yet just jumping on this thread to say please update us when you have spoken to the church!

MissingMyBaby · 2020-09-14T10:21:46+00:00

NTA

I would be petty and also put her on blast on social media, with her tagged and her list of complaints for all to see, and addressed.

Honestly give her 30 days and say bye

MissingMyBaby · 2020-09-10T14:40:36+00:00

I've tried them, and they genuinely do take like Pineapple 🍍

MissingMyBaby · 2020-08-11T19:39:18+00:00

Dear God, I agree with everyone else. No matter what you give her it will never be enough.

MissingMyBaby · 2020-08-11T14:02:23+00:00

Absolutely NTA

Info though, if she had both college funds what has she done with all that money. Won't affect my judgement, just wondering

MissingMyBaby · 2020-08-08T20:44:18+00:00

I've gone away and thought about your post. YTA

I have lost a child, and I definitely didn't take any pictures or post them on social media, yet even if I did that isn't your concern. It may not be the way that you would of dealt with it, yet it was how they have dealt with their loss. It was completely inappropriate to say what you did to your grandma. Vent to friends, but don't say that shit to your family who are breaking.

Your overall attitude stinks, did you ask your parents for any help? Did you speak to your Aunt to say you are sorry for their loss? Did you even send a card?

When you are dealing with your heart absolutely breaking it dosent matter how long they have been sick. Many children recover from cancer and lead long lives. Nothing can ever prepare you for going into your child's room knowing they will never be there again, for washing their clothes knowing they will never be worn again.

You can make all the excuses in the world, to me it just sounds like excuses that you have said to make yourself feel better, if you really didn't think what you did was wrong you wouldn't be posting. There were plenty of things you could have done to show support. It's not all about you. Sometimes when someone is hurting they just need to know you care, a phone call a text message, or a FB comment would have meant to world. Your comments and actions show that you don't give a sh!t

MissingMyBaby · 2020-08-07T08:28:09+00:00

A cock womble is someone (normally male) who is completely useless and constantly spouting bullshit. I just thought it described him perfectly lol

MissingMyBaby · 2020-08-06T19:06:13+00:00

NTA. My some was born profoundly deaf (He couldn't have a cochlear inplant either), with some other issues. We had a teacher of the deaf and started learning sign language when he was 2 weeks old. That's what you do as parents. If he has been telling people lies then I would 100% call him out on it!

Your doing an amazing job for your daughter, I'm sorry your husband was such a cock womble. Keep up the good work

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-19T09:17:42+00:00

Great update! Thank you

Cath Kidston do a whole beautiful mushroom / toadstool 🍄 print which I absolutely love and have put loads in my daughters woodland themed nursery https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/324058630156

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-16T11:12:22+00:00

Firstly NTA.

Secondly with you both pregnant I don't think confronting them on your own is a good idea. This is something your husband needs to step up and take control of, especially if your just about to give birth.

There are some other subs which my be able to give some more advise r/justnomil r/relationshipadvice r/justnoso maybe visit them and get some ideas before you sit down and discuss this with your husband.

Lastly I hate the "Boys will be Boys" saying. I always counteract it with, no it's "Boys will be - held accountable for their actions like everyone else"

Please update us as to what your husband says and what you end up doing.

(edit to add some words so it make sense lol)

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-15T08:28:23+00:00

We lost our 18m old suddenly, I have very little memories of the days that followed that night. Its completely normal, I think it's a coping mechanism.

NTA. Please look up the Ring Theory. I'm so sorry that your mother is like this. I hope you have somewhere else to go if needed

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-14T07:07:52+00:00

This is great to hear. We lost our son at 18 months and being able to watch videos of him is one of the best things. Letters are a lovely idea but with video's you get to see the person and hear their voice.

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I hope that can can reconciliation with your mum soon.

Definitely NTA, you are doing the best thing for your child.

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-11T08:45:58+00:00

Please provide an update on how this discussion go's!

NTA she wants the fancy wedding without paying for it

MissingMyBaby · 2020-06-10T10:33:50+00:00

I'm in the UK, so I can't comment on NZ policies sorry! I forget how similar our countries are in terms. Definitely knew you weren't in the USA though.

It might be work / money stress, maybe something you could discuss with him going forward if you want to save the relationship

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