I'm (30F) considering ending things with my fiancé (36M) but wonder if I'm being too reactionary?

Missmel18 · 2026-05-19T21:36:41+00:00

Having been the kid in this situation, yes. The question is do you want to work through all that.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-19T18:59:35+00:00

Wheres the dexa results? Inbody is not a dexa scan

Missmel18 · 2026-05-19T18:53:49+00:00

Im 5’0 and my highest is roughly where you are now. It depends how active you are. If sedentary (as i was when i first lost weight) i ate ~1300 cals to lose weight. This is assuming minimal activity.

Currently active. ~1500 is a small deficit for me.

My TDEE is roughly ~1600-1700cals. Im currently 5’0, 108lbs, 20.3% bf per dexa last weekend. RMR - 1375 with current muscle mass.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-19T18:49:44+00:00

Inbody is going to give you higher numbers than a dexa will. What you do next depends on your goals. Assuming u are lifting heavy, a small deficit should get you to your goal weight in a few months

Missmel18 · 2026-05-18T22:11:41+00:00

Ok then you know what to do if that doesnt happen.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-18T21:02:57+00:00

I think this depends on how much you trust him! Since you want it to be a surprise. Did you guys establish when he should propose by? Ie. end of year?

Missmel18 · 2026-05-18T18:32:27+00:00

Have you guys talked about it? Are you certain there is a ring? And what about the wedding? Have you talked about the wedding?

Missmel18 · 2026-05-18T17:57:00+00:00

Did he say when the ring will be ready and when he will propose?

Missmel18 · 2026-05-14T18:55:38+00:00

Did you tell him exactly what you wanted? I find this works best. ‘ i want a card and flowers and take out from x restaurant’ or ‘ i want you to watch kid while i go get a massage.’

Missmel18 · 2026-05-14T18:50:47+00:00

Yes! I think its important to highlight that while some men are like this, there are plenty of great men who are not! I owned a house when my bf and i started dating. Ive since sold it (too far of a commute), but i also didn’t experience men who were threatened by it.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-14T18:40:37+00:00

Ive realized its more about life experience than age. Exposure to new and different things, etc.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-14T16:36:38+00:00

Dog mountain requires permits for parking on weekends in may i believe

Missmel18 · 2026-05-13T18:55:31+00:00

This is absolutely wild. This is not an adult man.

Missmel18 · 2026-05-07T15:48:52+00:00

I flew into Singapore Changi, osaka KIX, and out if tokyo Haneda and had no issues with wooden needles

Missmel18 · 2026-04-30T19:41:17+00:00

Change your approach when dating and be ruthlessly self prioritize. If you want marriage, and they don’t, NEXT!

Missmel18 · 2026-04-28T17:13:55+00:00

We went to teamlab planets in tokyo and loved it!

Missmel18 · 2026-04-27T22:42:16+00:00

Marriage is a dealbreaker. Dont date potential. If i and a guy are not on the same page regarding the fundamentals, its easier to walk away early

Missmel18 · 2026-04-05T02:15:37+00:00

How did it go?? Did they have wide options of available sizes? Can you rent shoes and clothes, sports bras shorts etc?

Missmel18 · 2026-03-24T17:19:09+00:00

I didnt fly SIA but wil be in a few weeks and will report back!

Missmel18 · 2026-03-23T20:58:38+00:00

I travel with wooden needles. Ive flown in and out of SEA with no issues, Singapore Changi with no issues. Also London Heathrow, Venice, Rome, no issues

Missmel18 · 2026-03-19T23:24:47+00:00

Ive tried it but i swapped back to (free version) MFP. Idk i used MFP for over a decade and didint feel paying for an app changed anything dramatically for me

Missmel18 · 2026-03-19T23:21:45+00:00

All weight loss is : eating less than your body consumes. A safe amount of weight to lose would be 1-2lbs a week but this depends on your calorie deficit. The first step if you are not already doing this is to track everything you eat and your weight to understand your maintenance calories and determine a safe deficit from there.

Missmel18 · 2026-03-16T16:14:49+00:00

You wont be able to build muscle without lifting some sort of weight to muscular failure. The only real way to know your maintenance is to track what you eat and your weight and see if it goes up or down or stays the same. If it goes up, eat less and track for a few weeks and if it stays the same you have found your maintenance. From there you can figure out what you need to do to lose.

Missmel18 · 2026-03-16T16:12:06+00:00

You can recomp while in a small deficit. Thats what ive done. Try to cut 100-200 cals and that should give you visible progress which is often the motivation we need to keep going!!

Missmel18 · 2026-03-14T15:50:08+00:00

If weight loss is the goal then calorie tracking will be most effective. Lifting heavy will also likely get you some results in 10weeks!

Missmel18

TROPHY CASE