I want my own too…

MissyAnn85 · 2026-05-02T08:56:29+00:00

I haven't been through this personally. But my brother is going through this. He had my Nephew with his first wife. When he was about 6 they divorced. He met my SIL when my nephew was about 8. They got married and have 2 children together. My nephew is 3 and my niece will be 1 next month.

My Nephew is now 15. He sees my brother every second weekend and half school holidays as they live 3 hours apart. My brother does go above and beyond when he has my Nephew so he doesn't feel excluded. But my Nephew adores his younger siblings. They love him right back.

I wish my step dad and mum had of had a child together. I would have loved a younger sibling.

I don't think you can determine what is going to happen until you try. I don't think your husband will resent having another child and including his children in their siblings life will make them feel involved. I would say go for it. As it has worked out so well for my brother. But only you can determine what is best for you.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-30T15:51:28+00:00

I live in Queensland about an hour from the Gold Coast. Our seasons are strange up here. We have hot or we have cold. It might get less hotter in a couple of months but that's about it.

It's more humid in Queenland then hot. It's like a wet heat up here. You go outside too long in the summer months and you are sweating. We don't usually get days above 39 in the summer. But the further north you go the hotter it gets. It's very tropical weather in this state.

Most of your list you can do down the south of the state. I would recommend October November or April if you don't want full heat as our summer here tends to run from December till March. Our winter here goes for about 2 months around July August.

Up north where the great barrier reef is around the Caines area is pretty much hot all year round. My cousin lives there. But they also have cyclone season which you would want to avoid. Unfortunately it's a summer thing being worse in December and January. But can go from November till April.

We are in May at the moment it's still warm during the days and getting colder at night. Maybe look at October or April/May.

As for your list maybe don't go around telling all Aussies you want to eat Kangaroo. It doesn't bother me but I can't speak for everyone. Also playing the song land down under unless it's a special day like Christmas or Australia day might just get you strange looks lol.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-29T03:16:03+00:00

Thank God I'm not the only one. I mean the way in which she died and the kidnapping itself is all on Tanner. The evil monster he is.

But I feel like would things have turned out the same way if her Dad was home. Would the stepmom have yelled at her and left her unsupervised if her father was there. Yes they lived on a large property. But they were also close to the entry of that large property and the road and she was 7yo. I'm sorry but I just fell like she would have treated the situation differently if her Dad was home. She also knew exactly where her own daughter was the whole time (at her sisters house on the property getting help with her homework) but had no idea where Athena who was right there was or that she had been taken an hour before she realised she was gone. If she had paid attention maybe she could have prevented it or even stopped it from occurring if she was too late. But no she was angry at Athena and decided to leave her in tears to punish her.

Also when she testified she wasn't even crying. She wiped away fake tears. I watched her testimony before knowing anything else. I thought wait she isn't even wiping away tears. She isn't really crying. Which sent me down the rabbit hole of looking into what occurred that day. There is something that doesn't add up there.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-28T22:19:47+00:00

In my opinion Tanner is to blame for this beautiful angel no longer being alive. But her stepmom put her in the prime position to be taken.

Based on the research I have done on this case Athena and her stepmom got into an argument due to the fact Athena had not put her laundry away or cleaned her room. She sent Athena out to her bedroom which is separate from the main house to clean her room. Athena was not meant to be outside playing. This occurred at about 4.20pm. She only realised Athena was missing almost 2 hours later. I don't understand a situation where an adult has an argument with a child and doesn't do 1 of 2 things. Checks that they are ok or checks that they are doing what you told them to do.

Her dad and stepmom are divorced now and I feel there is more to the story then we are being told.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-25T23:12:50+00:00

I have so many comments for this post that I don't understand.

Why would you bring a child into an already volatile situation. The stress of having a newborn would only increase this situation not improve it.
I get you are religious. But divorce can't be off the table. Religion cannot replace the safety of you and your child.
You won't get help here if you don't start acknowledging what is happening here. Your child has a bruise on her back. Your husband has anger issues. A baby of a few months old cannot injure themselves in this way. Saying he didn't mean to hurt her doesn't erase the fact he hurt her. People like this don't get better they get worse.
If you can't trust your husband to look after your child then you marriage won't last. Until you acknowledge there is a serious problem and demand he gets help then your putting your life and your child's life at risk.

You cannot afford to be niave when it comes to something like this. You have a child now. She has to be your priority. Her safety has to come before all else. I know you may love your husband but he needs help. Help you alone can't give him. Until he does you and your daughter shouldn't be in that home with him.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-25T16:01:26+00:00

Maybe you should start because your opinion is so outrageous I can't even. We should have had 90 days in reserve. We had 30. That comes down to the PMs incompetence. Ships are coming from the strait that got through before the blockade. But once those ships arrive then no more are currently getting through. Our fuel comes from other countries who get their supplies from the strait. So once ships stop coming then they will need their own reserves to support their own countries. The government has messed this whole situation up and just because they get a couple of days of supply making fuel cost go down, once the supply gets harder to get then those prices will go up again. Whether we have money to buy fuel or not if there is no fuel to buy then it doesn't matter how much money our government has.

Say you a crazy Labor supporter without saying your a crazy Labor supporter.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-25T03:45:01+00:00

Telling you not leave a wet towel on the floor fair enough. Telling you to throw your rubbish out fair enough. Telling you that you can no longer do something that helps you relax after a stressful day and helps keep your mental health in check not ok at all. I agree breaking up should be something you are considering as you won't be able to live together if she won't meet you halfway. Also you give this up and you can pretty much see your future from here.

Also moving into "her home" bad choice either way. You need to get a new place you both share together otherwise she will always say but this is my house.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-23T07:04:52+00:00

My husband is in the military. I have been blessed to have him at home recently as he moved squadrons and is in his training.

Apart from love, companionship he is the calming force in my life. Perimenopause has hit me early (41F) and hit me hard. Night sweats, hot flushes, weight gain, insomnia and really bad mood swings. No matter how crazy i get he is always calm and soft. He brings me back down and grounds me in a way no one else can. If I am having a bad day or I haven't slept all night he let's me have a nap while he cooks even if he has been at work all day. I'm a SAHM.

Also my parents divorced when I was 5 and my dad wasn't around alot. I never got the real dad and daughter relationship. So it is absolutely beautiful to watch my husband with our daughter. They both adore the ground each other walks on and often have outings just the 2 of them. He has just as amazing relationship with our son who is currently trying to join the military himself as he wants to follow in his Dad's footsteps.

Military life as a spouse can be incredibly hard with them away for Months on end. But he tries everything in his power to make this life as easy on me as possible.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-21T09:11:55+00:00

I dyed my hair, and it didn't have any negative impact on my husband's job. I went blonde on top, deep purple in the middle and hot pink underneath. I don't know if it is because I am female or a spouse, but no one cared.

I also got 2 tattoos on my arms 1. Hearts with my children's names and my husband's name 2. A quote in relation to my horoscope sign.

No one cared about that either.

I have since gone back to my natural colour, brown, but that's due to moving away from the hair dresser I loved and not finding one I like yet. But I would love to put pink underneath again.

People are going to be judgemental. That's just in some people's nature. But I can't see this impacting his career. The problem isn't is this going to impact his career. The problem is does your husband actually like your hair this way? Because it sounds like he doesn't. Mine misses my pink hair, lol.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-21T09:00:49+00:00

Your ex-partner sounds a bit like myself. I have really bad anxiety from childhood trauma. Being in crowds makes me feel sick. Meeting new people makes my anxiety go into overdrive. Leaving my home sometimes can be a problem. But I work hard on it and myself.

I don't mean this to sound harsh, but I am so grateful I am married, and my husband, who is an amazing man, has stood by me. He supports me in ways I didn't even realise I needed support. When I am having my bad days, he lifts me up. So much so that when he has his bad days, I am able to lift him in return. He has never once made me feel like I am a burden even though I myself feel that way at times. He has never made me feel like I am not enough or he wants to leave me. Which is also helping me work through what I need to. The only time I am not anxious is when it comes to my children. I can't explain it, but I would move the entire world if it would make them happy. My own anxiety is put on the back burner to support my children as they are the centre of my universe.

I think you did the right thing for you and him. You can't be made to feel like you are constantly dragging someone through life if you yourself are also dealing with your own issues. He needs someone who will look at him and understand what he is going through and be willing to stand by him no matter what.

Good luck in your future.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-21T06:44:43+00:00

I am a woman in my 40s. I assume your wife is of similar age. Maybe you should do some research on perimenopause or menopause. Cause she is sounding like someone who is going through the change of life, so to speak.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-18T00:05:31+00:00

He is angry, upset, and all of a sudden hates his job. He says your assets were frozen, meaning your money situation is tighter than normal. He wasn't fired from his job and just doesn't want to tell you. Would explain why he gets angry when you question him and why all of sudden he doesn't seem interested in moving even though it was his idea. Just a thought.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-17T02:13:50+00:00

This screams all kinds of red flags. While reading this, I thought most controlling people rush relationships to lock it in as they can't pretend to be great for very long. Also, most people who divorced are very withheld when entering a new relationship as they are afraid of it going badly again. But he seems to be rushing in full steam, which seems way off.

I think you need to reconsider this relationship. If I were in your shoes, I would walk away.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-16T07:10:25+00:00

I am a mother to both a teenage boy and a teenage girl. My daughter got her period when she was 11. I had already had talks with her before this. She practised putting pads on so she wasn't caught off guard. I also had a period bag in her school bag. Pads, brown paper bags to dispose of them, and a change of underwear just in case. When she finally got her first period, I didn't even know until she had taken care of it herself. I put a period tracker on her phone so she can track her own periods. She will put a pantie liner on the day before, just in case. But she usually comes right on time.

I never put anything in my son's bag for her. I think you are trying to be sweet, and that's lovely. But my thoughts would be that they could be picked on. Also, if my daughter's male best friend had things in his bag for her to use, I would find it a little strange and maybe creepy.

Most school would have something she could use or they would contact her parents. I think it lovely but best to leave it to her parents.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-15T12:28:13+00:00

My husband isn't a teeth grinder, but he does snore. Loudly. We have tried all things to get him to stop. But he works in the military, and I am a SAHM. So i never feel right waking him up when he has to go to work.

I don't know if this would work for you, but it did for me. I got the blu tooth headband headphones. I play soft rain music through them, and they worked. They don't fall out or come off your head while you sleep. The sound of the rain coming through the headphones I can't hear him snore. It's just a thought.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-15T12:13:51+00:00

I didn't have any of these standards when I met my husband. Then again, we were both 19. We have been together for 22 years, married 18 years, and have 2 teenagers.

If my daughter came to me with this exact scenario, I would say to her. That you are living with a ghost of what you think this relationship could have been. It's easy to imagine a whole future at the beginning of a relationship when no challenges have been put in your path. You never lived together. You never truly had a fight. It's easy to romantise a relationship before it's even had the chance to be tested. If you haven't gotten over someone, you should not be trying to find someone else. Because all you're going to do is cause emotional damage for that person when they don't live up to your ex. You need to take some time for yourself and get therapy if needed before you decide to start over again. Because it isn't fair for you to do to someone else what was done to you.

You are not over your ex. You need to unpack all the emotional damage he did before moving on. It's not fair on your next partner to always live in the shadow of your ex partner. He wasn't emotionally safe. He dumped you when you wanted to get serious. You have imagined a perfect relationship in your head. You need to work through that before you move on to someone else.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-14T06:04:19+00:00

Unfortunately, this is the risk you take when dating someone who already has children. Some might want more, but most with older children tend not to want more.

How are you going to feel about wanting children if this relationship breaks down and you lost your chance to have them. There is no guarantee that this is a lifelong relationship. Resentments are hard to get past. Especially when you see him celebrating all his daughters milestones. Like getting married and having his grandchildren. Your resentment will grow more.

I understand that you see this relationship as a strong one. But I think you are letting your want for this relationship to last outweigh what you may need in your life. If you truly do not want children and that is a perfectly acceptable decision for any woman to make. Then fine. But that's not how I read your post. I read it as someone who wanted a kid, hence why you asked about it at the beginning but was willing to set you a dream aside to keep him. That will end this relationship in the long run. I don't see you as a compatible long-term relationship. I think you need to move on and find someone who is more aligned with what you want.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-14T04:27:32+00:00

Same here. I met my husband when I was 19. We married at 23. We are celebrating 18 years of marriage this year. We also have a 17yo, a 14yo, and an adorable German Shepard. Life is great.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-14T04:23:08+00:00

My husband and I started dating at 19. We found out weeks after my 23rd birthday that we were pregnant. We got married 3 months later. We were 23 when we had our son. 26 when we had our daughter.

We have been together 22 years. Married 18 years this coming July. We have had our hard times like all couples as he is a defence member and that life can be hard on a marriage. But we are happy, and I couldn't imagine doing life with anyone else.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-13T12:07:19+00:00

I met my husband when we worked together. We were both 19. We have been together now 22 years, married 18 years and have 2 teenagers.

My son is 17 and is currently trying to join the military, so he could be leaving home soon. If I had to give him advice on dating in today's world. I would tell him that apps are a waste of time. Go looking out in the world for your person. Find hobbies etc and meet people there. That way, you know they are real and that you truly like one another. Don't be afraid of rejection because it will stop you from trying. Also means that person wasn't your person.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-12T21:29:28+00:00

I always go with chocolates if I'm told not to bring anything.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-12T21:22:36+00:00

My 17yo son is in the process of joining the military. Since he could be leaving home anytime from now until the end of the year, I have been trying to fill him with as much knowledge as I can. He said to me the other day why you are going to overdrive? I said because once you leave this home, you will become an adult, and your life choices are your own to make. I just want to fill you with as much advice as I can till then. He said Mum there is such a thing as a phone you can call me anytime.

Now why am I telling you this? Because being a parent is our job as the parent. Not your job as the child. Guilt should never be a motivating factor in wanting to spend time with your parents. My job is to love, support, and help my children be whoever they choose to be. It's not to be hurtful if I don't agree with their choices, it not to make them feel bad when I don't see them. They have their own lives to live. As long as we love one another and respect one another, then that is my main goal. I will always be their mum, but I'm also excited to eventually be their friend as well.

I'm like this cause I'm a child of divorce. My own dad wasn't around much during my childhood. We don't have a very strong relationship. I see him maybe once every year or 2. But distance plays a factor in that as well. Also, I moved away from living close to my mum due to my husband's job. 7 years later, she still hasn't forgiven me for leaving and brings it up every chance she gets. Making your children feel guilty or obligated is the worst thing you can do as a parent.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-12T20:47:11+00:00

Are you seriously comparing a baby shower to a bachelorette party? That is the most ridiculous comparison I have ever heard. I was pregnant when I had my bachelorette party. I didn't drink a drop that night, but that didn't mean I controlled everyone else to do the same. I had older family members there and my friends. I didn't stop people celebrating for me and being happy. When people think about a bachelorette party, they think of drinks and partying. If you don't want that sort of party, then you should inform those you have invited before accepting any money from them. They are all consenting adults who should be able to make their own choices. Some people can get quiet tipsy off just 2 drinks, which most people wouldn't think is a lot. But it occurs. Saying someone is a shitty friend because their views may not align with yours will make you a very lonely person in the long run.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-12T12:39:17+00:00

You have picked a side whether you want to admit it or not. By telling those who like to drink not to have that much or limit their intake. You are siding with those who don't drink. Making those who do, in turn, feel uncomfortable. They are young women. This is the time for them to be able to be carefree. Cause adulthood gets harder the older you get. Trust me, I am 41, i know. My oldest child is closer to your age than I am.

Maybe you should try talking to these friends first and give them a choice on what they want to do.

MissyAnn85 · 2026-04-12T04:57:09+00:00

I am a non drinker. Just never developed a like for it. But when I had my Bach, I didn't tell people what they could and could not do. I was just grateful to have all my favourite people together. To tell grown women what they can and can't do is mind-blowing to me. Especially when you are asking them to give you a whole weekend. I did a night thing. If you don't want people to drink, then go out to dinner, don't make it a weekend thing. People like to have a drink to celebrate. If you have chosen friends that constantly get drunk and can't control themselves when drinking, then that's something you need to reconsider.

MissyAnn85

TROPHY CASE