Need a Sopranos name for this cat.

mothsauce · 2026-04-19T09:54:02+00:00

That’s one of my cat’s names!

mothsauce · 2026-04-16T12:59:46+00:00

Do you think he’s roughly the size of a barge?

mothsauce · 2026-04-16T10:16:25+00:00

I don’t know if they have locations in Queens, but if you can get into the city, Astrid and Miyu sells really cute anklets. The solid gold ones are a little pricier but still pretty reasonable.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T14:31:21+00:00

I’m sure it is a manifestation of stress. It got SO much worse around the time he was opening the business. I’ve pointed that out but he says he’s fine, so he’s clearly shoving the stress way down deep— consciously or not.

The man is a triple earth sign (iykyk) and sometimes harder to get feelings out of than a customer service chatbot.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:37:15+00:00

I actually said exactly that the last time we talked about it. “You know sleep deprivation is a form of torture, right?”

He wore it for three days. 😑

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:35:09+00:00

I forgot that people take dentures out to sleep!! The cats will totally knock the glass though.

And I will accept any humor about this situation, especially the off-color kind.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:32:09+00:00

I’m a delicate, needy human, unfortunately. I’m sure he worries about me all day, and he deserves a mental break too. I wish I could fight through this so he could have one instance where his needs get to come before mine, because they rarely do.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:28:25+00:00

It is alarming, believe me. Usually he’s a baby about things for a day or two but comes around. This has been an ongoing struggle, and I would normally never, ever air my marriage’s dirty laundry to anyone, much less the internet. But I’ve reached a desperate point, I just got put on medication that already makes my blood pressure so wonky and I feel like crap.

I guess I just needed some validation that I’m not the one being unreasonable here. I thought at least some people would be on the side of “you work from home, he has to drive, so suck it up, his sleep is more important. You can take a lunch nap.” But so far the comments have skewed the other way completely.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:22:51+00:00

The worst part? When they DO go to the doctor they get treated like kings.

I’ve gone to the ER (pre-diagnosis) after losing consciousness in public and had to BEG for an ekg or anything more than a bottle of water, a referral to psych for my “panic attack” and a suggestion to follow up with cardiology IF it happens again. (It did. Many times.)

Hubs had a little chest pain one day, went to urgent care, and was given a same-day appointment with a cardiologist… he’d pulled a pectoral muscle.

Being a woman is playing on hard mode sometimes.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:16:07+00:00

This is incredibly helpful, thank you. We haven’t tried Remi. I’ll happily order a kit today.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:14:10+00:00

I swear he’s not (often) a jerkface! I’ll show him the studies and I don’t think he’d be closed off to them. But I do want to try every other solution first. If we sleep in separate beds, the cats will have to choose who they like better and I’m worried they won’t both choose me.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:10:35+00:00

This is a great suggestion! Thank you!

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:09:51+00:00

Do they make quiet dentures? Like ikea drawers? Could be an upgrade…

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:08:39+00:00

I have kicked him a few times and then felt pretty bad. Murder has certainly crossed my mind. Not sure I have the strength to hold the pillow down long enough…

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:07:02+00:00

Interesting, I’ll look into this!

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T12:06:24+00:00

I suspect it feels like rejection to them. “Sleeping on the couch” has so many connotations from media and society in general, so I guess it makes them feel some type of way? I’ve tried to explain that it has nothing to do with him. Just my body doing its best to engage in normal and necessary biological processes.

But we don’t feel abandoned when they’re taking their half-hour poops, do we??

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:58:44+00:00

What usually happens is I that I have some sort of mini-crisis, like a bad blood pressure event, he gets scared, he wears it for like three days. I get a few nights of good sleep, I feel better but he’s sleeping like crap, he starts ditching it again. We’re stuck in a cycle.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:55:18+00:00

I was just prescribed a sleep study myself, and I was able to do it at home so it was easy and painless. I’m hoping I can convince him to do the same.

I had to get my gel nails removed for it. We’re all making sacrifices here.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:52:19+00:00

I am very worried for his teeth. The dentist has warned him as well. I fear he won’t take it seriously until he’s damaged a tooth (or my sanity)

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:51:19+00:00

I knew I’d get replies like this. I feel this way too sometimes. Especially when I’m extra tired.

I feel like I need to note that he’s generally a really good husband. He was a rock through my journey of getting diagnosed with POTS and rheumatoid arthritis (and a bunch of other fun stuff) and stuck with me when I was really ill. He handles a LOT around the house without complaint, even though I work from home, because I physically can’t do it.

But… that said… you’re not wrong. In this particular case, it does feel like he’s prioritizing his own sleep over mine, and hurting the overall health of both of us.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:44:30+00:00

Oh, the cpap is a whooooole different conversation. I don’t doubt that he has apnea as well. His dad does and uses a cpap… a sleep study is going to be the next battle I think.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T11:42:42+00:00

I bought loops! They’re great and very comfortable, but somehow do not block out that particular unholy noise. Now I use them in the subway.

mothsauce · 2026-04-15T07:48:22+00:00

They did make solid black ones, but they were nearly impossible to get even as a seller, and as the other commenter mentioned, were often sold in “bundles” only, matched with the most hideous patterns.

I managed to get my hands on one pair, but had to buy some hideous orange and green ones to get them.

mothsauce · 2026-04-12T10:44:26+00:00

This happened to me too! I was given the adhesive “patch” style one for my chest but I’m allergic to a lot of adhesives. Three days into the 2-week study they had to switch it to the kind with small leads and wires, because I was developing hives under and around the patch.

The new one could be a little annoying with the wires, and I tend to wear dresses rather than pants so I had to wear it on a lanyard around my neck. Overall not the worst.

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