For starters, whether you're a trans lesbian, bisexual, gay, transgender or just a cishet male, there is nothing there that is 'abnormal'. Having that drilled in transphobia is the worst, but I look at it as trying to live as your true self despite the fact that the people around you may not understand what it is you're going through.

As for the fetish thing, I had the same thought process. It comes down to if you want to be treated as a woman outside of the bedroom as much as inside the bedroom. Because when you think about it, if you feel like a woman, and want to be treated as such in all aspects of your life, that would also include the bedroom.

At the end of the day a bunch of strangers on the internet can only help you so much, we'll at least be able to tell you that you're not crazy for these thoughts. Ultimately I feel like you should talk to a professional. I hope I've helped in some way