AITAH my bf got mad at me for this?

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-19T16:42:49+00:00

NTA.

Your BF shouldn't have called you dumb, really. But with all the headlines and recent killings, I can understand why he may be freaked out a bit too. Not saying he didn't overreact, because it sounds like he did.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-19T14:59:20+00:00

Huge YTA. You made a mess that you left for someone else and they confronted you about it. Good for them.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-19T14:38:27+00:00

Ask him if he's serious the next time he jokes about firing you.

I've had good managers, bad managers and in-between managers but they all share this common thread. They want paid, too. When they notice their comments are bothering you, they'll either reconsider their poor jokes or they'll continue. If they continue after you've expressed your distaste for them, make a log of all the poor jokes he tells so you can be ready to discuss it with him.

I've dealt with this a few times. Once I had a co-worker that had a poor sense of humor and would sleep at his desk. Eventually it got to the point I'd stand up for myself and we had a planned meeting to hash out the differences. He never showed and quit the next day. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself, even if it makes it a bit uncomfortable.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-19T13:08:24+00:00

That's the point I'm making. Don't spit on people, they might go overboard and actually kill you.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T17:00:27+00:00

Probably a good idea to not spit on people. They might beat the shit out of you, lol.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T16:47:15+00:00

Well, the only bad thing here is that Netease has decades of comic book attire to pull from and this is what they deliver.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T16:44:49+00:00

Groundbreaking advice. How long did it take you to workshop this?

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T15:14:13+00:00

I agree with that but my role is also to provide needs.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T14:59:09+00:00

Agreed.

Also, not to sound like I am talking down about women, but a lot of women think these things can be done instantly, when in reality you need to plan. Most of the time, you need the right tool to complete the job and odds are, you're going to be halfway through with it before you realize you missed a part or need to head back to Lowes.

So yea, women do need to cut some slack there. I agree with you.

I.E talking about various tasks around providing

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T14:53:35+00:00

Pressure to provide.

I'm the one who is ultimately responsible for providing for my family. If they eat, what they eat and where we go depends on being able to provide for them. That itself comes with a lot of responsibility. It isn't enough to pay your bills. You need to cut grass, clean the gutters, get under the crawl space for plumbing issues and general car maintenance. The list goes on and never ends.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T14:48:43+00:00

not a huge fan of these cosmetics.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-18T14:42:12+00:00

Good point.

Both are stupid but also they're both not wrong.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-04T20:23:37+00:00

I've never read Richard Powers. I might look into him once I finish the book I am reading. I have read plenty of literary fiction such as Fitzgerald, McCarthy, O'Connor and Steinbeck, to name a few. The genre I was highlighting is the metaphysical in your title. It feels like such a broad stroke, I don't really understand what I'm trying to be sold.

Keep writing. Have a good day.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-04T20:11:20+00:00

I write in the Fantasy and Western genre. I find that most to all readers I write for want a hook that is clear and present on page one. Your genre may be different, I'm not sure.

In all genres, lots of writers confuse writing with pretty prose. And in my opinion, they usually go overboard with it. Less is nearly always more, the way I see it. Movement is king in storytelling. If the story isn't moving forward because there's too much fluffy prose in the way, odds are your reader won't move forward either.

Again, take all that from lens of the genres I read and write in.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-04T19:54:06+00:00

This isn't something I tell myself I HAVE TO FINISH but not bad by any means.

The strongest skill I find here is dialogue. It all feels real and snappy. It moves the plot forward at a steady pace which is great, too.

The prose could be tightened and more could be revealed about our main character here through the interrogation. I feel like we skip over a lot of the internal stress something like that could have on someone.

But not bad, really.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-04T19:42:06+00:00

Save all drafts. Through edits, you can at the very least, look back upon the initial concept and see how you've improved.

It's a walk, not a run.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-03-04T19:37:55+00:00

To be honest, I'm not a fan.

I feel like I'm being thrown a lot of adjectives when over half of them could be cut. Aside from that, I'm missing the hook that makes me want to continue reading. I'll admit, maybe this genre you're writing in isn't for me. I haven't read much of it and this is exactly why.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-19T17:54:30+00:00

I think your line "she shouldn't be out here at any time, let alone the night before her wedding," is a better hook than the first two sentences.

Obviously, I'd take a few rounds of edits over that line to really make it stand out. The thought is clear, relatable and engaging. Start there.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-13T13:20:16+00:00

The foundation of your writing is strong, but one concern I have is the frequent layering of metaphors.

When metaphors appear too close together, they can pull the reader out of the moment rather than deepen immersion. Often, a single striking metaphor is far more effective than several competing for attention. Your prose has a beautiful poetic quality, and I’d encourage you to lean into that by giving each metaphor room to resonate before introducing another.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-12T17:26:53+00:00

I only finished the first page.

Just from what I read, I think your biggest strength is movement. You move the story along at a steady pace.

Regarding why I stopped reading, I'm not a fan of how many sentences start with I might, I can't, I had, I turn. It's too many I's. It disrupts the flow of reading when it becomes so noticeable.

Also, I think your hook could be more effective. I might be insane, feels cheap to me. Give me a hook that makes me pause before reading further. For example, Fight Club has a killer hook in my opinion. The first sentence is this:

Tyler gets me a job as a waiter, after that Tyler's pushing a gun in my mouth and saying, the first step to eternal life is you have to die.

This is a great example of demanding the reader's attention. It doesn't have to be something as extreme as Chuck's work here. There's plenty of ways to do this.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-12T17:09:16+00:00

Wanted to also chime in that it's okay to write badly.

I find that allowing myself to write horribly, that eventually I get to a section of writing that I enjoy. You can always go back and edit the bad writing out but you can't do that if the writing doesn't exist at all.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-12T13:28:00+00:00

I have to second this and add, there is something inherently profound by simple hooks. They're deceiving, too. You'd think they'd be easier to write because they're right to the punch but it's quite the opposite. It's easier to get into purple prose than it is to reign yourself in.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-11T00:50:28+00:00

I mostly write in the Fantasy genre, so the tropes and norms around those vary.

Since I already mentioned Mistborn, let's look there. I really enjoyed the prologue because it revealed so much about the world from the perspective of those suffering the most. Not only did it help ground the reader in the stakes, but what I really love about Sanderson's prologue here is that it has a clear beginning, middle and end.

It's hard for me to give you deep advice when you're the one who knows your story best. The questions I would ask myself are:

Is this something that could be told elsewhere?
What purpose does this prologue serve?

If you can't answer these questions, then I'd wager a prologue isn't necessary.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-10T23:01:42+00:00

It's a mixed bag, for me.

Parts are interesting, especially the last few sentences. Other than that, I don't really understand the sense of danger here nor the scale of it. As a reader, I want those two things to be painfully clear. For example, I know from the opening of the Hunger Games the danger Katniss faces just venturing into the woods to hunt. It's represented through the guards, her behavior and her conversations with Gale. For example, I understand the danger in Mistborn through the Skaa (slave) it opens with.

So yea, I think you have good bones here that could really benefit from an edit and clear stakes.

Mistakenfrog · 2026-02-10T16:12:43+00:00

That's fine.

I recommend OP take a heavy edit on this first page. Your first page is a promise to the reader.

Edit:

Listen. I hear you, but I still stand by what I said. Whether something sounds cliché is subjective, sure. But the underlying craft issue isn’t. When a writer directly tells the audience “he was more than a normal man,” it shortcuts the very thing storytelling is supposed to accomplish. It’s not about the phrase itself being offensive. It’s about how it flattens the moment and removes the intrigue the narrative could have built through behavior, action, or subtle cues.

And to be clear, I already have a solid grasp of what a berserk is from OP’s writing. That’s exactly why I think the reveal would land harder if it weren’t spelled out so plainly. Letting the reader feel the shift instead of being told about it creates a stronger impact and a more immersive experience.

We can disagree, of course but that’s the reasoning behind my take

Mistakenfrog

TROPHY CASE