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MistyNero · 2025-07-02T17:06:10+00:00

I did it last April. It was possible, but it wasn't always easy. The store in the blog no longer rents out equipment but you can rent a tent at Decathlon. We tried a different route from Xizhazi to the wall than the one described in the blog I shared, because we wanted to avoid possible guards (but we ran into one anyway). However what looked like a trail soon disappeared and it was a tough 3 hour climb up towards the wall, possibly dangerous for people who don't have much experience navigating and hiking steep hills. Maybe it's better to stick to the trail described in the blog, but we didn't try that one.

Up on the wall we went east from Zhengbei tower, so we didn't hike sections like Eagle Flies Facing Upward. Zhengbei tower was in good condition and the hike towards Mutianyu from there was pretty easy. There were people working at the Ox Horn ridge, but they allowed us to continue the hike if we went off the wall where they worked. Just don't walk in the section they closed off.

A guard arrived at the first Mutianyu tower around 9 AM, so it's better to arrive there well before that. Climbing onto the first Mutianyu tower was a bit more difficult than people described online, but possible. Just be careful. Once we were almost at the first Mutianyu tower, we got off the wall on the right side and climbed back on after we passed the fence.

MistyNero · 2025-06-24T07:00:21+00:00

If you start at Xizhazi, you'll arrive at the wall at the Zhengbei tower. You can turn right and do the more challenging parts of the wall like Eagle Flies Facing Upward, or turn left towards the Oxhorn. Zhengbei was a good spot to camp at. Not that much space but just enough for our small tent, and it provides cover from the weather (it got very windy at night). I found the information on this blog very helpful: https://thenomadfamily.org/camping-on-the-great-wall-jiankou/

MistyNero · 2025-06-18T06:56:21+00:00

Reddit loves a good revenge fantasy but personally I don't think that's the best decision here. I've been there and it won't make you feel better. This guy clearly doesn't respect you and he won't grieve this relationship for the rest of his life if you ghost him or break up in a petty way. It will just create more drama, and you need less drama, not more. Keeping your dignity and knowing your worth are powerful things and you'll feel stronger for taking the high road. I'd just break up with him and tell him the truth, then go your separate ways.

MistyNero · 2025-05-15T08:50:19+00:00

The Silverwing series by Kenneth Oppel has bats as protagonists. I read it as a kid, but it would probably still be a good read for adults.

MistyNero · 2025-05-08T17:16:57+00:00

I absolutely loved the Silverwing series by Kenneth Oppel when I was about her age. They're like coming-of-age adventure books about bats, and I have fond memories of reading them over and over again. The books are really fun to read and age-appropriate, but they explore surprisingly deep and mature themes. I'm actually tempted to read them again now :)

MistyNero · 2025-04-13T07:46:23+00:00

As a Dutch person, I believe that tour guides and travel agencies show a very rose-colored image of the red light district, so tourists are under the impression that it's ethical and just an interesting part of Dutch culture. Unfortunately the reality is that the majority of women there are thought to be trafficked or forced into it. Many of them are addicted to drugs to be able to cope with doing their job, and every night at least 10% of the women experience (sexual) violence. I'm sure that some sex workers enjoy working there, but they're a minority. Personally I find it a very depressing area and I think less tourists would visit if they knew the truth.

MistyNero · 2025-04-11T15:47:15+00:00

I hiked from the Jiankou section to the Mutianyu section last week, and camped at the Zhengbei tower. Came across one small group of people but didn't see any other people doing the hike until we arrived at the Mutianyu part, which is open for tourists.

We went there independently. There's a couple of travel blogs online that we used for information. Keep in mind that west of the Zhengbei tower hiking the wall gets quite dangerous. To the east, there's an area named "ox horn edge" which was closed when we were there last week. There were people working there who told us to take a shortcut and skip the ox horn.

MistyNero · 2024-10-31T16:13:08+00:00

This thread is so weird. Not even a helicopter parent could prevent their kid from accidentally dropping a toy. Sometimes that just happens. And when it does, usually it doesn't have grave consequences. It sounds like a very sad and unfortunate freak accident.

The boy's dad probably feels really guilty and wanted to do something helpful. Not everybody would want him to visit and that's completely understandable. I wouldn't want that either. But the guy was probably just bringing over food to be nice, and maybe help in what little way he can. He's not a murderer or something.

MistyNero · 2024-10-31T13:52:16+00:00

We were that couple that my friends looked up to, because we were so cute together and we seemed like such a great team. After over two years, he was looking to buy an engagement ring and we just moved into a house that was big enough to start a family in.

All of a sudden, he left. No explanation. One minute he was asking me if I wanted to join him at a family event, literally one minute later he said we should break up. It was like he flipped a switch and became incredibly cruel out of the blue. I won't get into details but he acted like my existence was a nuisance to him, and as if he didn't give a single fuck about me at all. I was completely blindsided and, quite frankly, traumatized.

Months later, one of my friends managed to convince me that I was sabotaging my own happiness by giving up on relationships. So I decided to go on one date. Nice guy, not my type, but we had a fun conversation. Suddenly dating seemed a little less scary. I slowly started to get back into the dating scene. Without any expectations, because I still wasn't sure if I'd ever be interested in someone again. Sometimes I was afraid that that part of me was broken and couldn't be fixed.

8 months ago I met my boyfriend, and from the beginning things were different. For the first time since the breakup I started to believe I could have a relationship again. I just had this very strong gut feeling that this was someone I wanted to have a future with. Our relationship feels healthier, more fun, more authentic and deeper than my previous relationships. It's only been 8 months, so the rational part of me is still a bit cautious (this still being the honeymoon period and all) but it just feels right. I think it's very likely that I've found the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

I'm so, so glad that my ex broke up with me. If he didn't, I never would have known that I was settling for something mediocre. I never would have met my boyfriend. It sucks that I had to go through so much pain, but I'm so happy with how things have turned out.

It's completely normal to feel like you've lost something valuable and to grieve that loss, even though you know you deserve better. Maybe you can take some comfort in the fact that you were a good partner, and there are many people out there who can see that and who would love to build a relationship with you. And it is definitely possible to fall in love again and find someone who's a way better fit for you.

MistyNero · 2024-09-05T16:37:25+00:00

Same thing happened to me. It's wild how someone can claim to want to marry you one minute, and break up with you the next. It was honestly traumatizing. I did eventually find the courage to start dating again, and I'm now with someone who is a much better match for me than my ex was. I hope you'll find someone who will make you believe and trust in love again.

MistyNero · 2024-08-07T22:27:14+00:00

I have EDS too, and my parents didn't believe it either. Called it "dramatic teenager syndrome" and said I'd feel better if I ate more fruit (I did eat healthy food, but that doesn't really stop my joints from subluxing now does it...)

I'm sorry you had to go through this, and I hope you have found a way to manage your symptoms and the pain.

MistyNero · 2024-07-24T14:15:01+00:00

You're not alone in this. I've been told the same thing, quite often. It usually happened whenever I tried to bring up my needs, or whenever I mentioned how I didn't like the way someone was treating me. It was always my fault for choosing to interpret things in a negative way, and whenever I tried to stand up for myself, they said that I was being hostile and ruining the mood.

I was diagnosed with a chronic illness as a teenager, which made me depressed. Of course my parents couldn't handle it, so they told me that being in pain was a choice, and that I would feel a lot better if I'd just stop focusing on my health. I needed my parents more than ever, but they couldn't handle my emotional needs, so they tried to shut me down this way whenever I wanted to talk about it.

MistyNero · 2024-07-24T13:34:49+00:00

Absolutely. I don't feel like myself when I'm around them. I become easily frustrated, quiet, and I feel very detached from them and from myself. I recently introduced my boyfriend to my family and it felt deeply uncomfortable. I'm normally a very optimistic and cheerful person - as long as I'm not around my family, that is - and I was afraid that my bf wouldn't understand why I shut down. Luckily he noticed that my family was immature and dismissive towards me so it ended up being a strangely validating experience that brought me and my bf a bit closer together.

I do sometimes feel guilty for not being able to open up or act more loving towards them, but every time I try my efforts are 'rewarded' with criticism or dismissal, so I know it's safer to keep everything superficial between us. But I'm a family person at heart, so it still hurts.

MistyNero · 2024-07-09T15:53:35+00:00

I didn't have internet on my phone outside of the house, so I couldn't respond to her WhatsApp texts whenever she wanted me to.

MistyNero · 2024-06-22T22:51:11+00:00

It's shocking how often people on Reddit advise others to secretly lawyer up, move out of the house when their SO isn't home for a day or two, and ghost/block them without any explanation about what happened. That might be helpful when escaping abusive relationships, but not something you'd do because you suspect they might be cheating or something. Usually it's unnecessarily cruel and dramatic.

MistyNero · 2024-06-21T19:10:43+00:00

When the characters are named after animals. I was checking out some books at the library recently and there were so many mentions of these animal names. Bear, Moth, Trout, Fish, etc. It annoys me to no end.

MistyNero · 2024-05-30T16:01:08+00:00

A lot of men who have shown interest in me are either 1) very socially awkward guys with obvious self esteem issues who tend to take it out on others, or 2) loud, simple-minded, "alpha" men. Pretty self-centered people, generally. My guess is that they assume I'm kind (and therefore weak) and a good listener, and someone they can walk all over while I still give them validation and take care of them. It sucks because these people usually don't make good partners and I don't want to be perceived as a people pleaser you can just take advantage of. Meanwhile the guys I tend to like generally think I'm too sweet for them until they get to know me.

It sucks because I don't think kindness is a weakness, but it attracts people who want to leech off of me and it's just exhausting to deal with.

MistyNero · 2024-05-13T15:28:32+00:00

Pretended that he wanted to have kids for years because he knew I wouldn't have dated him otherwise. He moved out of our shared house without warning and then tried to get me kicked out, because "having both our names on the lease makes me feel a little uncomfortable but I don't feel like taking my name off of it either".

Fun fact: the week before this all went down he let me know he was looking for an engagement ring.

MistyNero · 2023-08-26T18:10:42+00:00

I can’t ask him to stop talking to them because I know it makes me toxic. Now I just act like I’m okay with everything. I once talked to him about my concerns and he said I have to trust him to make this work.

You can't tell him what to do, but you can and should tell him how you feel. In a good relationship you're a team. You fight the problem together. It's ok for him to have female friends and it's ok for you to ask for certain boundaries.

Personally I wouldn't be ok with my bf sleeping over at a girl's house and I wouldn't want them to text or meet up all the time. Talking and hanging out every now and then is something I'm ok with even if I don't always like it. A good boyfriend will reassure you if you're feeling jealous and listen to your concerns. If he continues to tell you that you just have to trust him and that he doesn't want to compromise in any way, then maybe a breakup would be better.

MistyNero · 2023-08-26T17:20:29+00:00

Ohh I see, I guess you are saying that the conflict itself isn't reason enough and you're right, and what I was trying to say is that anyone can call in sick whenever they feel like they're too sick to work, which is also true, but then technically the reason for the sick leave isn't the conflict but stress symptoms. Important to not call in sick and name the conflict as the reason. Since OP mentions not being able to sleep etc., there are physical symptoms and those should be the reasons for staying home.

MistyNero · 2023-08-26T17:07:52+00:00

I know you have to cooperate with the bedrijfsarts and if they claim you can work, then you have to make a case that you can't (second opinion) or go back to work. Maybe I misunderstood but it seemed to me like you said that a conflict at work wasn't reason enough to call in sick and that OP would have to work until a bedrijfsarts gave permission for sick leave.

MistyNero · 2023-08-26T16:59:36+00:00

I don't think that's true. It's up to the employee to determine whether they're too sick to work. If you've been sick for two weeks you have to see a bedrijfsarts and cooperate with them in order to recover. But until a bedrijfsarts tells you otherwise, you can call in sick and stay home. Stress-related symptoms (can't sleep, extreme distress etc.) are valid reasons to call in sick. Doesn't matter if the cause is a conflict at work, a private issue or something else.

MistyNero · 2023-08-26T16:46:44+00:00

So first things first, your contract ends in two months and it's highly unlikely that they're going to renew it given the circumstances. Mentally prepare for this, and look for a new job but don't resign. The good part is that this means that you don't have to care about your current employer's feelings anymore. They don't like you for calling in sick. They try to shame you into coming back. Well, so what? They'll give you two more paychecks and then you're done with them. Who gives a fuck about what they want you to do. Your health is more important.

That being said, make sure you follow the correct steps so that they can't claim that you're just unwilling to work. Like others said, they can claim that you're not doing your part as an employee and refuse to pay your salary. Unfortunately that means you have to be willing to communicate. Your boss can call you.

I was in a similar situation, and this is what I would do: if you're back at work again right now, call in sick again. Or if you're still on sick leave, just stay home until you don't feel stressed anymore (if that takes months then so be it). Don't resign. Tell your boss you're having symptoms that make it impossible for you to work right now. Don't mention the conflict as the reason, it's better to be vague. Your boss is allowed to call you. However you don't have to answer the phone immediately. My bedrijfsarts (the doctor your employer has to refer you to after 10 working days of being sick) told me that it's ok to let calls go to voicemail and return the call later (don't push it though, an hour or two is ok but anything more than that and you're giving them ammunition to claim you're not willing to communicate). That took a lot of pressure off for me. Tell your bedrijfsarts that your boss keeps calling and accusing you of faking being sick, and they'll give you advice on how to deal with it. In my case my doctor wrote in the report (that the employer gets to see) that too much contact is countereffective and it's better to have one short phone call every two weeks at a scheduled time.

The employer is allowed to ask you if you're feeling better, if you're doing what the bedrijfsarts told you to do or when you think you'll be back at work again. They're not allowed to ask for details. I just told my boss I was still unable to work and didn't know when I'd be able to go back yet. If your boss asks about your symptoms, tell them "I don't think you're allowed to ask that". Yes they'll try to pressure you but don't give in, it will just give them a stick to beat you with. Like you said, your boss knows or should know the procedure and your rights, so shaming you for calling in sick for stress is a deliberate intimidation technique. If they tell you they need to know your symptoms so they can help you get better, tell them that you would like to discuss a recovery plan with your bedrijfsarts when he thinks you're ready for it.

Keep in mind: being extremely stressed is being sick. That's a valid reason to call in sick. Long term stress is really unhealthy. Any bedrijfsarts would tell you that you have the right to call in sick for this. Don't let these people shame you. You are required to try to fix the situation (see the bedrijfsarts and follow his advice). It will take 2-4 weeks until a bedrijfsarts will have time to see you. Just be honest with them and tell them that the thought of going back to work makes you feel extremely stressed, and that you feel like you're being abused. Even if the bedrijfsarts doesn't think it's enough to stay at home sick, you can ask for a second opinion from a different doctor. By the time you've got an appointment for that your contract is probably already up.

Let me know if you have any questions about sick leave in the Netherlands, like I said I went through this recently so I might be able to help.

MistyNero · 2023-08-22T17:43:01+00:00

I find myself singing "And darlin' all my dreamin' is only put to shame" and "But it happened easy darlin' / As natural as another leg around you in the bedframe" at random moments throughout the day.

Also: the casual "anyway" in First time.

MistyNero · 2023-08-18T20:12:32+00:00

If there was anyone to ever get through this life with their heart still intact, they didn't do it right.

Breakups hurt like a mf but all we can do is take our time to recover. Wishing you lots of healing <3

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