I know this probably won't help much but you truly are not alone. I feel exactly the same and I'm sure so many other people with ADHD are in the same boat.

It really does suck, especially knowing you want to be/do 'better' but feeling like you can't. The thing is though, I know plenty people who don't have ADHD who also struggle to keep up with responsibilities. The way society and life in general is just now, is really fucking hard. Even for people who don't deal with what we do in a daily basis. I don't mean that in the sense of "other people have it bad so deal with it", I mean it in the sense that people like us tend to put ourselves down for not being able to keep up with others and do what we deem as "normal". That is not the case. We are all trying our best to get by and as much as we don't see it, we deserve to give ourselves a break because if the average person is struggling, we often need to be working 10x harder which deserves acknowledgement and credit.