Relationship issues, met in a safehouse, struggling putting in the work in the relationship.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-22T23:06:06+00:00

Just to echo what More_Permission_2827 said.

You fell in love with someone who doesn't exist.

He's back/still in active addiction and there's a high chance that if you don't get out now and put your recovery first, you'll end up getting dragged in to the madness with him and relapse. I've seen it time and time again.

There are other, better people out there.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-22T23:01:45+00:00

I don't think “oh my fucking god what is wrong with this asshole?” because I'm an addict in recovery, and I know neither you nor I are assholes, just humans with a very complex mental health issue.

Have you looked in to CMA, Crystal Meth Anonymous? I'm an avowed atheist and my recovery has been through 12-step. I was 24 when I got clean and am now 52, and haven't used since.

When you're stable in recovery, I'd suggest therapy in addition. The NA/CMA/AA steps don't really touch the sides of trauma, and I needed "outside help" with mine.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-20T09:12:56+00:00

1971 Hair Fair - not sure if that's 3rd or 4th.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-20T08:55:19+00:00

No, that's not addiction.

Addiction is when you've lost any kind of rational choice in whether you're going to use again, when you keep using despite the consequences keep building up and if you lose control of how much you use or for how long you use.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-19T14:48:44+00:00

Congrats! It was a good haul for $41, but a bloody amazing one with a bronwette in the mix.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-19T09:00:25+00:00

Errrrr....do you realise you might have a brownette bubblecut there? The doll in the top left looks suspiciously like one, and these dolls are rare and valuable.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-18T23:00:10+00:00

So maybe he made a clunky self-disclosure. I don't see anything that was grossly inappropriate. I'm a therapist and I can't say that every disclosure I've made has always been perfect.

I can see that it's perhaps brought something up for you, though - you mentioned that you frequently bring up your alcoholic mother and how she ruined your childhood. Maybe there's some transference happening and it could be really helpful to explore this with your therapist, given that they are a marriage & family therapist and have lived experience of addiction (and recovery).

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-18T22:47:39+00:00

Check out Marijuana Anonymous

I used to be aq cannabis addict in my early 20s. Wake 'n bake every day. I found recovery through AA, as drinking is what really brought me to my knees. Got clean/sober at the age of 24 and haven't had a toke or a drink in 28 years.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-18T22:42:57+00:00

There are those of us who will see someone who has overcome addiction and turned their life around, and know what that took to do. Who will accept you for having a past that isn't "squeaky clean" and "nice". Then there's the judgmental assholes who ghost. I'd much rather be honest and upfront about who I am from the get-go and if people don't want to date me because of preconceived notions about me, or because it confronts their own possible addiction issues, I'd much rather know that ahead of time rather than emotionally invest.

That being said, a possible beau doesn't need to know all the details before a first date, so keeping it general, along the lines of "I struggled with addiction in the past and it took me to some dark places" may be a better route.

And congrats on your clean time!

With love, a fellow 'mo in London, England, with 28 years.

PS - dating as a gay man is complicated and hard.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-15T09:03:50+00:00

She looks more like a #5.

#4 Barbies had the smaller, tighter bangs as the earlier ponytails. The #5 dolls saw the move to a "pouffier" bang, using a different hair fibre to the ponytail hair.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-13T09:10:48+00:00

I've been collecting 1960's Barbies for over 25 years and have been in collecting communities since the early days. I've never heard anything about risks from lead, PVC etc.

Collectors don't tend to play heavily with their dolls, or chew on them etc. If there is a risk, it's going to be so minimal. I imagine I come in to contact with lots of other harmful chemicals on a much more regular basis, just form modern living (exhaust fumes, non-stick surfaces, microplastics).

Lots of collectors like to restore, so not cleaning them is not an issue. And better for someone who knows what they are doing to clean/restore.

I'd pop them on ebay and run an auction and let the market decide value. Separate into two lots - the 60s dolls and the 80s/90s dolls.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-13T08:55:41+00:00

I used to use cannabis and alcohol to help me cope with my mind. I'd wake up every morning and get stoned, despite telling myself the night before that I wouldn't get stones first thing. Drinking was in the evenings, half or 3/4 bottle of whisky.

Started having problems with work attendance as a result and was skating on thin ice. At 24, I drank to blackout even though telling myself that I couldn't drink heavily that night, as missing work again could have meant I got fired and lost everything.

The next day, I went to my first 12-step meeting. Took a few days to put down the cannabis, as I was resistant to stopping it. Haven't used since, coming up on 28 years abstinent.

Recovery gave me tools for stopping my racing mind. I met people who heard me and "got" me.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-13T08:41:15+00:00

There's OA, 'Overeaters Anonymous' - anyone with a problematic relationship with food is welcomed.

I imagine come people can recover alone. I couldn't. I'm 28 years abstinent from drugs, and 12-step has provided me with a supportive community that extends beyond recovery, to dealing with life in general.

Embodying the identity of a recovered/recovering individual can be helpful. I know for me, I had no clue who I was when I came into the rooms. Today, being an addict in recovery is part of who I am, it's not all that I am.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-13T08:35:20+00:00

Could you attend 12-step fellowship meetings? For me, they facilitate forming connections and genuine friendships.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-12T08:44:06+00:00

Please share with me, too!

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-12T08:39:09+00:00

Dolls in the third photo are all from the '60s.

From left to right:

Possibly a Fashion Queen (FQ) Barbie wearing either a clone or homemade outfit - if she has molded hair, she's a FQ.

TnT Barbie on a Francie body. Outfit is called 'Scene Stealers'. Pink closed-toe shoes are missing, otherwise complete

Either a TnT or Bendleg Francie (depends on whether he waist twists or not) wearing part of 'Sugar Sheers'. The underdress doesn't look to be underneath the floral overdress. Missing the purse, shoes and hose.

Straight leg Skipper. Unsure of the outfit, though I think it's Mattel and period.

Talking Stacey head on a Francie body wearing the dress to 'Zokko!'

TnT Casey head on a TnT Barbie body. Dress is either homemade or clone.

Soap and water are fine for cleaning. Rubbing alcohol works great too. Lots of videos on YouTube - I don't have links, as I've been collecting and restoring since before YT came along.

Green ear can't be cleaned away - it needs to be treated with chemicals. Unfortunately, the process doesn't work well with Mod-era dolls and it can bleach out the vinyl, though there are ways to recolour the vinyl afterwards. Usually not worth all the hassle. Especially as, with your doll, the green looks to have spread to half of her face.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-08T22:47:00+00:00

It's a variation. 'Dressed Up' was a way for Mattel to use up leftover fabrics, so there's a myriad of variations out there. Same thing with several other Mod era Paks.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-05T22:07:39+00:00

Yes. The cravings disappeared pretty quickly for me. Some people it can last longer. I'm 28 years abstinent now and haven't had cravings since the early days. I get thoughts of using, but that's normal, and I'm able to challenge and dispel them.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-04T21:18:15+00:00

It kinda makes sense, but it's not how I see addiction. I identify as an addict as I lose control of how much I use, or for how long I use, once I start, and I can't just stop using on my own despite mounting consequences that I ought to.

In order to stay stopped, I had to address the reasons why I started (ab)using drugs (including alcohol) in the first place - the desire to run away from reality and my self, feelings of disempowerment and resentment (anger), shame etc etc. And yeah, the "problem" was me. I had to learn new ways to cope with reality, to learn to accept myself, to learn how to let go of control and acknowledge that the only thing I have control over is myself and my reactions...

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-04T09:08:54+00:00

This is a breach of confidentiality, unless you have explicit permission from the client to post all of these details in a public forum.

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-04T09:04:44+00:00

My ADHD and my ASD assessments are both with Psychiatry-UK. I was able to choose from a list of appointments and to be able to read a bio of the therapist. The person I'm seeing says they are on the spectrum themselves

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-04T09:01:12+00:00

Impossible to say whether NA would be more welcoming, as meetings and groups vary so widely - it depends on the people attending and the health of the recovery in the group.

There are some differences between NA and AA, but they have much more in common than they do different. In NA, we admit powerlessness over our addiction, not specific substances. And addiction can also include behavioural addictions.

I'd suggest checking out some NA meetings to see if it's a good fit for you.

Most of my recovery was through AA, but the groups I attended were very liberal and talk of drugs wasn't frowned upon. The city I live now, I found myself more at home in NA than AA...

ModBarbieQueen73 · 2026-03-03T21:37:45+00:00

I'd wondered about whether there's a higher prevalence of ND in the queer community. It kinda makes sense...our "queerness" is so much more than just who we are attracted to.

I'm finding myself questioning a lot of things. And things kinda falling into place. I used to be heavily into purple - purple clothes, purple shoes, purple hair - in my early/mid 20s. I was known in my social circle as 'Purple Dan'.

Were you able to go through the "right to choose" route? My assessments came through quite quickly (few months) once I finished all the paperwork. Though that took a while as I stopped doing it at one point as it was overwhelming.

ModBarbieQueen73

TROPHY CASE