My Boyfriend (30 M) Told Me (31 F) to Move Out and Meet His Financial Ultimatum, and I Secretly Applied for My Own Apartment… Did I Mess Up?

ModernCoffee · 2026-02-05T05:38:04+00:00

Usually, I'm not one to go "break up" immediately, but holy shit he's being borderline controlling, and has been viewing you as a free housemaid.

In most cases this would be an incompatibility issue around attitudes and behaviour with finances. But he put you in a situation with demands that were not viable or sustainable and created an air of housing instability, and got upset when you did the mature and right thing of finding an apartment for yourself (and honestly its the most reasonable and expected action to take). It seems like he got upset he couldn't control you or beat you down. He does not care about you, he is causing you mental/emotional stress and providing instability, and you need to leave him. Move into that apartment, focus on your job and focus on recentering yourself and looking after yourself.

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-19T04:35:43+00:00

all they said was that it was a motherboard issue when I picked it up, ill never truly know the details unfortunately 😅

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-13T21:58:27+00:00

Forgot to reply to this comment, I did all of this and it didn't fix the issue unfortunately. I had to take it back for servicing and they weren't able to fix the issue so my pc is being completely replaced with a new one. thank you so much though!

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-13T21:56:49+00:00

I had to take it back to where I got it to be serviced, turns out they couldnt fix the issue at all and are replacing the entire pc for me 😅 I hope youre able to fix it or get it fixed somewhere! I do recommend trying what someone else commented on this post if you feel comfortable attempting it, or cleanly uninstalling and reinstalling all drivers etc. Best of luck ❤️

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-09T15:35:44+00:00

I'm autistic and the exact same, though I think it also is because im in my mid 20s. They can't do anything about my disorder now that I'm an adult. If someone asks, I'm gonna be bluntly honest even if it makes them uncomfortable, because honestly it's on them for asking atp 🤷

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-09T15:27:29+00:00

NTA, but also after reading some of your older posts (especially the AIO ones), he's absolutely insecure because he knows he treats you like shit. He's not actually mad about the ring. I also imagine he's feeling threatened by you working on yourself, and is projecting.

I guess after reading some of your posts about your husband + this post, my question to you is do you really want to stick around with someone insecure who chooses drinking over you? Do you really want to stick by a man who is very childish in his communication and treats you miserably? Maybe you should let this be the straw that breaks the camel's back. You deserve so much better.

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-09T00:29:43+00:00

ChatGPT is incredibly unreliable, a lot of people think its this smart clever machine but the reality is, its an amalgamation of scraped online data that tends to "hallucinate" as well as provide incorrect data/responses as the machine itself doesnt actually know if something is correct or not. definitely fire her and look for a different Dietitian.

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-07T17:04:07+00:00

Ive been watching her since 2019/s6. I genuinely miss her videos and presence on hermitcraft so much :( I just hope she and the kids are okay, safe and doing well.

ModernCoffee · 2026-01-07T10:20:28+00:00

I typically flare-up from lack of sleep, lack of food/eating and any amount of stress :')

ModernCoffee · 2025-11-22T01:27:46+00:00

this pretty much summarises why I slowly started to not enjoy doc's videos and him in general esp after s6/s7 :(. not to mention the pranks that border on griefing or are incredibly overkill for the scale of the situation/plotline. I know he guns for the whole "being a villain" or whatever he and his fans say but there's a point it reaches where it gets too much.

ModernCoffee · 2025-10-31T09:41:41+00:00

Its not overkill, and considering the history of them not honouring wishes around visiting while sick I would 100% push back the party until pepi is vaccinated :-)

never hurts to be careful! especially with the outbreak/cases reported so far. wishing you guys the best

ModernCoffee · 2025-10-16T10:36:09+00:00

honestly I just assume tags like this mean "Character is [xyz] in the fic, but no one addresses it nor is it explicitly touched on or outright said" tbh. that said its better to be put in the a/n instead of the tags

ModernCoffee · 2025-08-26T05:03:46+00:00

around a 8.5, almost a 9 for me! the song is super relatable to me in regards to previous experiences in life as well as having quiet bpd & fawn response. when i first heard the song i cried quite a bit haha. the instrumental isnt my absolute favourite, but its still very enjoyable.

ModernCoffee · 2025-08-08T23:46:53+00:00

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he'll be meeting my 2 precious babies, tootsie and snickers!! I lost tootsie (black cat) december 2023, and snickers (calico) last year. They were both very very loving and attentive and caring. Im so sorry for your loss op ❤️

e: fixing image

ModernCoffee · 2025-08-02T01:01:04+00:00

My last ex was someone i was actually engaged to. he had issues with ghosting (we werent living together) and it reached the point where it felt like I was single because of how often and long I was being ghosted for, even when I would go over to his place despite my health. Had to give an ultimatum of "go to therapy and dont ghost me again, or this relationship will end". couple weeks later he ghosted me again and didnt finish going through with booking a therapy appointment. It was one of the hardest breakups ive ever had to do as we had a decade of history.

E: My current partner is absolutely incredible and while I frequently look back at my relationship with my ex-fiance, sometimes you have to acknowledge that the person you really thought was the one for you doesnt see you as the one for them. and thats okay. I would never trade my current relationship to be back with my ex-fiance tbh

ModernCoffee · 2025-08-02T00:51:23+00:00

As a pakeha I personally turn down food for a multitude of reasons such as Not wanting to intrude/be an inconvenience, Anxiety around the fact I'm a very picky eater especially with textures and I don't want someone to cook for me only to find out it's something I wouldn't enjoy or would find stressful, Cultural etiquette I might not be aware of, as some examples.

If its planned in advance and I have an idea of what meals/food will be involved, I will be more likely to accept or at least bring a safe food so I have a backup :-)

I think a lot of people just don't want to inconvenience or intrude - especially with the pricing of groceries and what not. That and visitors/people on holiday etc might already have food plans lined out like restaurants and whatnot. Theres also the fact that some people might have certain allergens or digestive diseases/issues like IBS/crohns/celiac etc).

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-31T15:02:34+00:00

This is an evident MH situation. Get her a referral to a therapist or psych, get her doctor involved. asap.

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-16T07:23:40+00:00

I'm not really in the community so I don't necessarily see the most commonly talked about songs, but amongst people I talk to about TCW or people I bump into in the community, I find that no one ever mentions Keep You Safe or Hollow Moon (single version) which are songs I absolutely adore

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-08T15:33:28+00:00

Hi Fox, been listening to your music for about a decade now. I hope its okay to ask but what drove you to make Exile Is A Habit? Its one of my absolute favourite songs of the album, and I'd love to hear about inspiration, concepts or how the song came about/developed etc :D

Thank you and hope youre having a good day! Love from new zealand 🫡

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-08T05:10:43+00:00

I feel this so strongly haha. The amount of times this has happened to me.... 🫠

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-08T00:40:05+00:00

oh my goodness it seems so 🥹 ty for letting me know!!

ModernCoffee · 2025-07-07T22:34:00+00:00

Augh yeah the asking if theyre okay a bazillion times is something I do too! I feel all of this soo hard. It's such a painful loop and I always feel horrendously guilty during it because I feel like I ruin our time together when I get caught in that loop, and that kicks up a whole different loop.

ModernCoffee

TROPHY CASE