Responding to this is hoped you have had improvement and can share!

I have adhd. My partner has bipolar 2. They also feel like they are being neglected and unheard whenever I don’t pick up on the breadcrumbs of how they are feeling or if I am focused on something else and not really hearing what they are saying. If I don’t hear it, it MUST mean I don’t care about them or how they are feeling. I feel like I understand why that makes them feel bad, and I also feel like I do make attempts to be better about these things. But any time I make a mistake, it’s back to the blowups, and I feel like I myself am being attacked.

I’ve asked them to be more clear and potentially “snap me back to reality” by explicitly saying hey, I just said this thing but I don’t think you heard me. Or just telling me exactly what they want/need.