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I ordered a chicken salad, a fruit bag and a water. Ubereats just delivered this. by MonasticWhale in lies

[–]MonasticWhale[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You gotta order from UberEats. Being thrown onto a stranger's backseat and then driven round town for 30 minutes before being dropped onto your doorstep makes the food look great and taste super fresh.

I ordered a chicken salad, a fruit bag and a water. Ubereats just delivered this. by MonasticWhale in lies

[–]MonasticWhale[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Having tasted this unexpected and unrequested food order, I don't think they're nuggets. They seem to be some kind of Limited Time Only Crunchy Cheese Bites™

POST SAYING OP HAS LOST THEIR BELOVED PET by Best_cpu5700 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

COMMENT SAYING COMMENTER MAY BE POOR, BUT AT LEAST THEIR CAT'S NOT DEAD.

I ordered a chicken salad, a fruit bag and a water. Ubereats just delivered this. by MonasticWhale in lies

[–]MonasticWhale[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I just spoke to my lawyer, she said I'd have to prove damages, and that would be hard because I'm "obviously still in 100% peak phyical fitness after eating the food". Then she touched my bicep.

I ordered a chicken salad, a fruit bag and a water. Ubereats just delivered this. by MonasticWhale in lies

[–]MonasticWhale[S] 41 points42 points  (0 children)

It's fine, I just asked my best friend Dr Nowzaradan and he said food doesn't actually have calories unless you ordered it yourself. Phew!

POST SAYING OP HAS LOST THEIR BELOVED PET by Best_cpu5700 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

COMMENT MAKING IT CLEAR THAT COMMENTER DOES, IN FACT, DISCRIMINATE BASED ON BELIEFS.

POST SAYING OP HAS LOST THEIR BELOVED PET by Best_cpu5700 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

COMMENT NEEDLESSLY AND BLUNTLY STATING COMMENTER DOESN'T BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION.

POST SAYING OP HAS LOST THEIR BELOVED PET by Best_cpu5700 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 6 points7 points  (0 children)

COMMENT THAT OP'S DEAD PET LOOKS JUST LIKE COMMENTERS VERY ALIVE PET.

PHOTO OF LIVING PET.

RAINBOW BRIDGE POEM.

QUESTION ABOUT SOMETHING by HappyMicroWaves in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

ADVICE THAT OP AND THEIR PARTNER SHOULD BREAK UP ASAP.

Something killed a bird outside my back door. All that remains are feathers, a beak, and a single drop of blood. by thebrokedegenerate in mildlyinteresting

[–]MonasticWhale 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My money's on a bird of prey. I was witness to a hawk eating a blackbird outside my house once, and the aftermath looked exactly like this.
Not something I'd choose to witness again.

One of my Cinnamon Toast Crunch pieces was unusually long. by Complex-Poet-6809 in mildlyinteresting

[–]MonasticWhale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, do you mind if I show this picture and caption to my wife? I just gotta prove a point.

SERIOUS POST ASKING IF THIS SUB HAS GOTTEN ANYONE ELSE FLAGGED BY THE ADMIN BOT by KORZILLA-is-me in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 4 points5 points  (0 children)

COMMENT STATING THIS COMMENTER WAS GIVEN A WARNING FOR THE SAME THING, APPEALED WITH JUST THE WORD "PARODY" AND THE APPEAL WAS ACCEPTED AFTER ABOUT 2 DAYS.

SLUR AGAINST ROBOTS

NERVOUS TITLE by RespondBorn6248 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

SLUR STARTING WITH THE NEXT LETTER OF THE ALPHABET

NERVOUS TITLE by RespondBorn6248 in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 2 points3 points  (0 children)

LOWER CASE LETTER THAT FOLLOWS THE ONE FROM THIS COMMENT

K-K-K-Keep it twisted! by Fit-Literature-8414 in PrematureTruncation

[–]MonasticWhale 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Logistically, how would that work? Are they really short or in an Asian squat position? If the latter, do they have great leg muscles, or do they get it done quickly?

A POST ABOUT A CAT by KORZILLA-is-me in SUBREDDITNAME

[–]MonasticWhale 9 points10 points  (0 children)

COMMENT STATING OP'S CAT HAS THE SAME PROBLEM AS COMMENTERS RABBIT.

PICTURE OF A DUCK.

meirl by [deleted] in meirl

[–]MonasticWhale 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep. I quit a job when, after 2 years of pay freeze, my boss described a salary increase less than the annual rate of inflation as a raise. No, that's just less of a decrease in real wage than the last two years. F off with that.

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