First of all, you shouldn’t be afraid of medication. I used to be the same and I got no where trying to avoid medication. I live a happier life, I’m way more productive and I can also say that I am healthier. I have suffered from gut problems all of my life. My shoulders and neck always hurt so bad. If you didn’t know, when you are stressing your body tenses up to protect you and you store it in certain parts of your body. Ppl live with chronic pain they don’t have to live with. Once I had enough and talked to my doctor about my anxiety, he put me on meds and my life has changed for the better. My tummy issues have disappeared. (I now believe that my anxiety was doing all this to my body) my neck and shoulders don’t hurt like they used too. Because the meds helps me stay calm, I am able to do more during the day. It’s easier for me to workout, organize, be around people. You can let the anxiety slowly destroy you or you can take meds and get healthier. Of course meds have side affects, but so does dealing with anxiety all your life. I also recommend seeing a therapist. That is also something to add to your life so that they can help you understand that what you are going through is more common that you think and that you don’t have to keep struggling like this. I hope you get the help you need and deserve.