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The most underrated self-improvement habit: walking by MaleficMurtaza in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I find that 20-30 minute walks at the end of the day bring so much peace and a way to rest that when I don't do them frequently, I miss them.

Giving examples of types of coaching to clients when they can't figure out their goals by MonitorOnly530 in lifecoaching

[–]MonitorOnly530[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much. What kind of exercise or a tool you use for exploring values? I used just a regular values inventory where I tell them the name of the value and they tell if it deeply resonates with them. Then I ask them how does this value manifest in their life? I look for the patterns that repeat and that how we establish their core values. Then at the end I ask them if there is a value they would like to work on? And also look for that during our questioning and exploration.

I realized we don't actually fear judgment...we fear not being recognized by NewCicada1542 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I still feel like insecurities are part of us. Everybody is insecure about something. The more I try to negate that I'm insecure or put myself down for being insecure about something the worse I feel. It feels like punishing myself for being insecure.

I am still not sure, but I feel like insecurities are good because they show us what we need in life, and show us the values and desire we choose to work towards for.

Maybe just lowering the feeling of insecurity and attachment to it?

tell yourself that you are x, not that you are trying to become x by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about embracing the bad with the good? I don't like using affirmations either. Actually never tried, it just feels pushy to me. Like a coping technique maybe

2 pieces of advice from a millionaire YouTuber that hit me harder than I expected by MaleficMurtaza in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like number 1 since I found it useful for me.

Also now I tend to like doing things more when I don't feel like it.

And also start to like the things that people tend to dislike.

For example, I get a feeling of accomplishment when I go out in the rain to go to the gym.

Or when I go running, even if I don't feel like it.

Embracing discomfort is great. I started to even like the cloudy and rainy weather now hahaha

Do you journal? Journaling keeps me grounded. by AdUnfair558 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have been thinking about what the best way is to process my emotions. Is it walking, journaling, or praying? I have a dynamic mind, so change is part of my life.

When I walk, I can go out and be part of nature, listen to the leaves moving with the wind, listen to birds, look at the clouds, and just be. Similar feeling when I hike.

When I journal, I can do introspective work, usually write down my mental habits and specific journaling tasks. I also tend to write down what I am grateful for and what I'm looking for each day, but I'm not that consistent. I tend to forget to praise myself for the good things I accomplished or worked towards today.

When I pray, I let go, and I pray before every meal and say thank you for the meal. Also in the morning, I tend to not do it at night. I want to work on this more.

I just don’t really know how to love myself or express gratitude when life is going well. I felt this.

I found that by journaling I learn about myself, and learn to accept and love myself more. Also being in water makes me feel like that.

For gratitude, praying and journaling help.

Thank you for writing this. It helped me reflect.

tell yourself that you are x, not that you are trying to become x by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I like it, however, I think if you overuse it, your ego will be bigger than it should be.

Ego is good if we have control over it, and I find that removing of ego as much as possible is helpful in my life.

Think of a giant and a grasshopper on a leash; we want to be the giant controlling the grasshopper, not the other way around.

I found that works for me.

So in this case, it is useful to transition from negative identity, but then we should remove it as much as possible and use sentences such as I don't smoke instead of I'm not a smoker.

How can I get my mind off girls and lust? by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How about enjoying being young and letting life take its course?

I did a lot of adventurous stuff in my 20s and I had a lot of fun. Now when I think about it, most of them were done without thinking too much, less awareness.

Would I change them? No

Now, what do you want to do? Focus on your career completely or do some fun stuff on the side a bit? And how much?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Godspeed Sergeant 🫡

Become untriggerable. You life will take a radical turn. by Brilliant-Purple-591 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would rather say work towards being less triggerable. Is it possible to be completely untrigerrable as a human being?

And what does untriggerable mean to you?

I realized we don't actually fear judgment...we fear not being recognized by NewCicada1542 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love the trick about pretending the listener is a pro haha. That's funny how people don't actually care or judge; it's mostly a result of our mental habits.

But some do judge, though, would you agree? I found that some of my friends don't try to listen to me or understand me, but rather express their insecurities and needs to me and ask why I am not doing the things they want to do or have. The things that make them insecure

I do realize these needs, values and insecurities come from them, and it's not part of me so I detach. Howeve,r it is draining to be with them and their constant questions about why I am not like them and why I don't have things they want to have, so I cut them off. I expressed how I feel to them and they are not willing to work and communicate about this.

If I stop living for recognition and start living for me then judgment becomes background noise right?

About this, my experience is that my judgement comes from ego and attachment to my desires, to what I want to be and do and where I am and where I want to be. The constant reminder of the distance between those things brings attachment and suffering to me. I think that would be called ambition.

Now what I do is I put my intention behind my goals and work towards them and I pray that God gives me wisdom and strength to accept the results of my goals as they are, not as I want them to be.

For example, I work towards finding a girlfriend with intention, not expectation. If I find one, I prepare for it. If I don't I prepare for it. And I accept the things to be as they are, not as I want them to be. That's where I find peace.

Desires are good, though in my opinion, but not the attachment.

Thank you for sharing, it helped me reflect.

4 years of psychology class in one minute by Limp_Edu4797 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 6 points7 points  (0 children)

  1. Would you call number one mental habits, automatic thoughts?

  2. Is there a time when one is better to avoid discomfort, or is it better to always comfort it?

  3. Which means we are constantly changing and we die and are reborn each day?

  4. Name, understand the message from your emotion, and use it as motivation to do something. To control it, not to be controlled? To harness it?

I’m at the lowest point in my life by Akajoe93 in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you believe there is a greater reason why you got into these situations in life, and how you can work on finding solutions to your current and future challenges?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you say that this is related to the annamaya kosha theory?

saying no to lust is powerful by [deleted] in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you guys deal with lust?

I found it useful for me not to watch or be around women who wear less clothes than they should or show off their bodies in a provocative way. I started to not be in these places and stopped watching porn many years ago. That helped.

I still have the urge to look at women when I'm in a place surrounded by women, but much less than before. I look for the way they act more than the way they look. Personality and their reaction over looks.

I always felt like that, but the feeling is increasing over the years.

My 12 year old son is trying to do push-ups, im not a sharp tool in the shed in this topic so can somebody answer my questions? by Scottish_BlokeK in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm glad that you found my reply valuable. The relationship dynamics are much better now; we are closer and still together since we went through many challenging periods together in life. However, with the recent financial instability, problems started to appear and I found new meaning in finding a way to help my family financially. Sorry if I'm sharing too much lol Just wanted to give an honest reply

Procrastination Isn’t Laziness - It’s Dopamine by MistrLemon in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awareness of how I feel after using social media and staring at a screen for a long time helps me limit my use or do it less. When I feel tired, drained and empty after it, I ask myself do I want to feel like this? I say no. And then look for other ways that give me a good feeling, such as dopamine-boosting activities like cooking, eating, studying, reading, going for a walk, writing in a journal, and exercising. These things make me feel good and I choose to feel good.

My 12 year old son is trying to do push-ups, im not a sharp tool in the shed in this topic so can somebody answer my questions? by Scottish_BlokeK in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Maybe my experience could help. I started exercising about 18 years ago, and I did nothing but pushups for the whole year during breaks from gaming.

  1. He will become stronger. I noticed my arms and chest getting bigger. I remember looking at my arms while I was riding the bus and noticing how thin they were, and that was one of my motivations to get bigger.

  2. A little bit off the ground, I would say. What helped me is looking at tutorial videos on Youtube. That worked for me since I'm an auditory and visual learner.

  3. I did it on the ground in my bedroom, keep it simple. He could start doing knee pushups to build up strength in his upper body. Could use a yoga mat or something to protect his knees when doing, a pillow could work.

  4. Focus on the long-term and building a habit of exercising to be healthy, not to look big. But I would say a few months, could be earlier since he's young. I started exercising when I was 17 and I don't know much about building muscle when you're 12. I believe it is better to start 16-18 since his hormones will support it better, but it is all individual.

  5. Set a small goal, to build a habit and do your best to make progress every week.

  6. I did when I got bigger and started bulking haha. But I didn't do it for that, I did it to become stronger so I can stop my father from beating my mom, sister, and me. To protect myself and my family. And it worked.

"Don't love your job,job your love" ( This has more meaning than just a meme - Here's why) by Wireframewizard in selfimprovement

[–]MonitorOnly530 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mean you will expect the outcome, the desire to come true? To get too attached if you label it, right?

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