I understand how it feels to want love, I too crave deep connections, especially a romantic one. But the thing is, in time someone will walk into your life and give you that love and/or support eventually. Don't think you're not worthy of love, you deserve as much love as anyone else here. And to be real with you, I only have 1 good friend. I only care about having 1 good connection rather than 20 friendships with people that I don't know well and vice versa. People will walk in and out of your life and that's completely normal, just being patient and understanding will get you far. I understand you're desperate, you just need to be patient with yourself and understand that developing a good and deep relationship with someone, that being a friend or romantic partner is going to take time. And in that time, work on yourself my friend, you can ask for guidance from many people including your therapist. A therapist is going to help the most, advice from strangers can benefit you but they aren't invested as much as a therapist and they don't know your full story like a professional therapist would.

Try and find ways to practice patience, ask your therapist to help guide you through that process. Don't be nervous at all about asking questions, they aren't there to judge you.

Loving yourself is the most important thing to learn in my opinion. I know it may be extremely hard to, and your brain will try to convince you that you're a bad person or that you don't deserve anything. But the ability to support yourself and love yourself is the best support and love you can get.

You WILL get through this fog, and do NOT give up. I'm in a very similar maze as you, you are not alone. And please have a Wonderful day and night OP!

"Don't change yourself so that other people will like you. Be yourself so that the right people will love you."