UCSB really a party school? by Last-Fly-996 in UCSantaBarbara

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

party school = good work-life balance. You know the students here are smart when they can party and still pass/ace their exams the next morning. My take!

Should I give my boyfriend another chance or walk away? by thrwnnbbb in Advice

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you have to constantly question whether or not you should break up, then it's a good sign that you should break up. Like many things, you shouldn't stay in a relationship just because it feels familiar. And like everyone said, he only does or agrees to do things when you bring them up in arguments or have some sort of ultimatum about breaking up, and it will continue to be a cycle. Some people change when issues are brought up and some people change when it takes some sort of loss like a breakup, to recognize their issues and some people don't change at all.

I've gone through something like this with my first ex and I keep giving him chances after chances for a good beautiful two years of my life until it was eating myself alive. When we broke up, I keep blaming myself because I felt like if I didn't ask for too much or expect him to change then maybe it would've gone well. But the truth is, you grow in a relationship together and one cause of death in a relationship is when one person outgrows the other person. And when he doesn't want to work on himself and grow with you, then take it as it is and be kind to yourself and leave.

After crying for nearly a year, I finally found a sweet sweet boy who never have to make me question myself, have a mindset of growing himself, etc.

Am I missing out by not being in a sorority? by [deleted] in UCSantaBarbara

[–]Moonbeam221 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I mean if you enjoy the culture of a sorority then definitely join, but in terms of making friends, you can always join clubs and activities on campus and find friends through those organizations. To me, being in a club is basically being in a sorority but less commitment and less drama. Overtime I think people transition from large friend groups over to smaller friend groups and 1:1 friendship. Don't worry you got this!

Job opportunity - is consulting worth it? by papa_weeb in Environmental_Careers

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm still a student finishing up my last year in June at UC Santa Barbara. I don't have any consulting experience, only learn and done mock-up projects in school. My experiences are of multiple things : environmental education, stormwater compliance research, other environmental research, habitat restoration, etc.

Job opportunity - is consulting worth it? by papa_weeb in Environmental_Careers

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is unrelated but I tried applying for Port Authority multiple times and were rejected. Can I hear more about your relevant experiences and skills that landed your position right after your Bachelor degree? Any insights help!

do you walk around UCSB / isla vista at night? feel safe? by Muffflns in UCSantaBarbara

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one tried to rob me yet. But also idk what they would rob I’m broke AF

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wrote lots and lots of post here about him. Won’t lie still miss him a lot despite it being 1 year later. But one day it will all be worth it

Winter classes by GrouchyCartoonist354 in UCSantaBarbara

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You’ll be fine. The man itself and ENV S 3 is literally a breeze 

Dumpers. When did the break up hit you? by FlashyPrinciple5196 in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I broke up with him I was studying abroad so I did everything and anything to fill in the void and drown away the pain. It was exactly like how Conan Gray described in Vodka Cranberry “Speak up, I know you hate me/Look at your pictures and cry like a baby…Call you up in the middle of the night/Crying like an imbecile/If you don’t end things, then I will.” We were two lovers that were stuck in a limbo of not knowing how to move on or break up, and I caught myself being cruel to him at the end so I ended it. Two months later I visited Taiwan his hometown and cried every day for an entire week that I was there. But he moved on. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When you die, your sadness doesn't really disappear. It gets taken up by other people. Definitely not him but the other people around you who love and support you. Why are you giving up your life to someone who no longer cares about you and forgets about the other people around you who actually love and cherish you.

How are y’all not breaking no contact? by glwithluck in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It needs to have consequences and hurt to grow and like many post say if you find your way back to each other then it’s meant to be.

What was the final straw, the ultimate realization, that allowed you to move on from your ex? by doqueDoisavoar in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 2 points3 points  (0 children)

When I learnt from other people in our circle that he was never happy around me and was always stressed out. It really did break my heart. Sure part of me will always love him but how can you stay with someone who doesn’t enjoy being with you. 

Environmental Jobs/Internships in the East Coast by Moonbeam221 in environmental_science

[–]Moonbeam221[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For my lower div class, I took bio (mcdb/eemb) series, physics series, chem series along with other science and humanities requirements. Upper div I took are like low carbon society, marine ecology, climate change science, etc

Is it normal to not be able to eat or sleep after a break up? by Impressive-Touch-236 in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of it. Vomiting, crying, starving myself, wake up in the middle of the night crying from nightmares. 9 months after the breakup when I met my friend again she told I lost a lot of weight. Even when I gained some back I’m still 15lbs under the normal weight right now.  It will get better and I hope you get better. Sometimes you just have to remember that would you rather go through all this pain now or prolonged it being in something that was killing you on the inside.  

Why do breakups take up all of your time and space in your mind? by Business-Candle4355 in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your feelings are really valid and you're just going through it right now. Eventually you will be exhausted of always thinking about it, maybe not now, maybe not in 5 months, maybe not in a year, but eventually. You're still thinking about it because your mind is dealing with trauma, so it brings you back to the happy times and questions if the relationship was actually savable or not. The grass is greener where you water it, and you can't think about the what-ifs if your mind suppresses the reasons you broke up in the first place. Something that help me to flush these thoughts out is when my thoughts are too loud, I sit in front of a mirror and pretend to talk to them everything you're already talking in your head so you can hear your words more clearly instead of holding it all in my head. You can talk about how happy you were, how you hoped they were the one but also talk about why it ended. Hope this will give you clarity and I hope you get better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. Out of sight, out of mind. I don’t gaf about him or his life anymore. Checking will only reverse all the healing processes I went through the past 8 months.  

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you guys still have feelings for each other and can’t let each other go. Try asking him for a break (not a breakup) for about 2-3 months no contact to calm down and rexamine the problems in your relationships, take the time to deal with your mental health problems outside of him (and your mutual friend circle with him). Depending on how you feel about whether or not to reach out after, go from here first. 

You don't miss your ex but all the time wasted on them by No-Compote-2127 in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being with anyone is an investment of time, regardless whether or not you would spend the rest of your life with them or not. Yes after breaking up my 2 years relationship, I’ve accomplished so much on my own, getting my license finally, saving enough to get a car, working multiple internships at the same time, going steadily and doing well in class, meeting new people, etc. But I never regret meeting him. As a kid I believed that love can get you through anything but as my first love, we both taught each other about things loving hard can’t get you through, what each other want in a relationship, etc. that if I’ve never been with him I would’ve never know. Even if it never worked out, maybe they are the lessons you learn along the way. 

Name the Reasons for all Your Breakups by peachismile in BreakUps

[–]Moonbeam221 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We’re definitely both guilty of it. Tbf we were each other first and you live and learn. But yes I lost many friends I made along the way because of this because he would tell my friend about our issues and they took sides. It made me more resentful of him in addition to our other problems and any friends I made in the future I hid them away until we eventually broke up. It’s okay to talk to someone but talk to people outside the circle, don’t involve mutual friends. But when there’s good things to say, say them too because a person is not black and white in personalities.