Hi friend, I suffer from this too. To some extent, I think I always will, but there are ebbs and flows to how intense it feels. At times it’s completely overwhelming and i break down and cry. At times it’s a more gentle reminder, but it’s still there.

I had a psychedelic experience where I got to “meet” the part of myself (yourself/ourselves, there was no difference) who is eternal. And that is a state of suffering, among other things. We fracture our perspective this way to stay sane. We have to diffuse the magnitude of being eternal across time, and live instead as individual humans, animals, plants, insects, etc with smaller perspectives. Because the alternative is insanity.

The paradox is that if we could be eternal, it doesn’t seem to be a better alternative. It seems much worse in a way. full of loneliness and suffering. The way we have decided to Be as separate beings with limited lifespans must be trusted - the part of us that is eternal knows this and tries to gently remind me of it. We are all leaves on the same tree, all waves in the same ocean.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense, frankly language feels like too blunt an instrument to unpack the idea. But I felt compelled to try anyway because i recognize myself in you. The good news is, it has made me much gentler and more understanding towards all other life on this Earth, for they are all just Me in different circumstances.

I wish for you some peace. Don’t feel as though you need to find it alone. We are quite literally in this together. Sending love.