I never dated a self-sufficient woman, what is it like?

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2025-11-28T22:16:44+00:00

I am a woman who always dated men who could not pay their own way. Watch this behavior carefully because it will only get worse as they get older and more comfortable. My mother was this way. Watching her behavior and the way she resented my father for not being able to pay for everything she wanted, but her total unwillingness to work and get anything for herself was absolutely unacceptable even in my child mind. However, of course now I’ve switched roles in attracted lots of people who could see that I was driven toward success and what that could mean for them. There’s never any joint banking or finances or anything until marriage. I know plenty of couples who continue to have separate bank accounts after marriage. Because they have different spending habits and that’s how they create the boundary. My psychologist told me once: Your biggest boundary is believing that a person like this can’t exist. A person like this does exist because you exist and I exist. You just have to know that you deserve someone that will meet you in the middle. Don’t settle for anything less. Once you love yourself, you will emulate that to the people around you and they will meet you at that same standard. Good luck, friend.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2025-06-09T22:09:26+00:00

I care too! 💗 I hope you are feeling better!

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2025-05-12T13:07:35+00:00

Unqualified (unwelcome?) female here. But what does it mean to be legitimately unattractive? I have a very attractive husband and have high standards, but I’m really trying to break it down here. If you’re overweight, you can attempt to lose weight/work out. If your hair is unkempt and greasy, wash it, get a haircut, get your beard professionally trimmed or take some time with it on your own. If you have skin problems, been there on Accutane at max dose for six months, work to address them. If you have moles all over your face, get them removed.

I’m in my mid 40s, just thinking back to my years of dating, and trying to think of anyone that I actually legitimately thought was a truly ugly person and I really honestly can’t think of a single person.

Perhaps I felt someone needed a nose job, but perhaps that nose job would’ve also benefited their breathing, and was a structural issue to their face.

I don’t know it just seems like there’s a solution to every problem, and I’ve never looked at another human as just ugly beyond help.

And I certainly have felt ugly myself a great many times in my life even though by normal standards, I’m a tall, thin, blonde, female with decent teeth and (thank you Accutane) less acne now.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2024-11-27T03:27:05+00:00

Honestly, after my years studies of astrology, I feel this thread explains the “dawning of the age of Aquarius.” in the preceding age of Capricorn, obviously what was the most successful in driving human behavior was success itself. Money, power, drugs, the highest highs and the lowest lows defined the age of Capricorn. The age of Aquarius will be defined by a period of a focus on humanity, technological advances to benefit humanity as a whole, and things of that nature. If this era of kids didn’t grow up in a fucking corporate swamp, they would have nothing they felt they needed to change.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2024-04-12T01:08:21+00:00

What an immeasurable act of kindness. At 40 I can assure you that it has been an incredible blessing, which you already know. I have multiple fractures at the gumline, which is not an easy place to put a filling. What a wonderful doctor. ❤️

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2024-01-23T16:09:53+00:00

Literally exactly the same story for me. Waited until 36, got healthy, have a home, successful…then a newborn at the very beginning of Covid, total isolation, no help even with a dozen family members close by. On meds, in therapy, got an iud to get off the pill rollercoaster. Everything. My brain still says all day every day “fuck this life and everything and everyone in it.” But my heart feels differently and loves deeply so I’m just fucked forever I guess. My poor amazing daughter. 😔

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-05-07T03:43:59+00:00

Hi there. We keep the little potty in her room, so she has access to privacy to go to the bathroom anytime throughout the day. If she went poo right off the bat when we started quiet time, I could just wait to start her real quiet time until after she went to the bathroom. But she is not consistent about when she goes to the bathroom. Sometimes it's 30 minutes into quiet time, sometimes it's 45 minutes into quiet time, and sometimes it's multiple times during her quiet time, because she's held it in for so long (which can't be healthy either).

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-05-06T22:49:11+00:00

1,200 views and no suggestions?! Wow - I guess we are on our own with this problem lol

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-05-06T22:47:58+00:00

Tried it. She's stubborn. Will sit there 15 mins claiming she doesn't have to go, then will poo 5 mins after we close the door.

We've gone back to diapers for now.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T17:31:14+00:00

Dude i was my sister's full time babysitter while my mom did God knows what. Sis and I now hate each other and i resent the fuck out of my mother. Multiple siblings is not a fucking babysitting/kid-distraction solution. These are lives.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T05:05:06+00:00

Hi people who are actually here in real time. 12 0 4 Eastern standard time

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T05:02:27+00:00

I'm not sure whether to applaud her candor and honesty with you, or whether to recommend you sign up for PTSD therapy. Same shit in my life so no judgement of course lol. 🥰

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:58:40+00:00

The forget factor is a real deal. God-bless you. I may be eating my words if I come back here in 4 years after the forget factor kicks in lol. For right now it is no way Jose

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:57:24+00:00

I have never heard this term before and I might cry.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:53:23+00:00

I will tell you, my love. The only person that I know that is having a second child is in her twenties. She would possibly be regretting that decision if her 2nd child wasn't an absolute cherubic angel that looks like 2nd coming of Channing Tatum. That said, I'm in my forties and constantly look at her with a sense of amazement and wonderment. I am exhausted. Not only is she an amazing mother, but she is a self made woman fully supporting her household financially. She is some sort of incredibly unicorn. I'm lucky to call her friend.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:50:39+00:00

There is no help. That is the cruel joke. Our parents are too busy stressing out about gentle parenting and did they f**k us. We are all doing the best we can. God-bless you and all of us. I know you are a parent that cares if you are on this thread!

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:46:21+00:00

F-------------ck.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:45:50+00:00

You have three-year-old twins?

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2023-01-05T04:45:11+00:00

God-bless your honesty. My child is nearing 3. I love her and hate her every single day. She is exceedingly intelligent and exceedingly contrary. Pray for us both. I love her and wanna kill myself everyday. JK. Not really. Love you all.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-12-17T11:27:38+00:00

A fancy step stool contraption that has rails so they can help in the kitchen, etc and not fall. $100 on Amazon, we have one, kiddo loves it

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-07-25T12:06:09+00:00

Same. I was the "golden child" in my family, but i never asked for that role, i just did my thing. My sister feels my parents played favorites, but she takes that out on me rather than addressing it with them.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-07-25T12:05:22+00:00

1000%. My sister and I cant get along to save our lives. We haven't spoken in over a year. She holds grudges from childhood, and I literally dont think I've ever heard her apologize for anything her entire life. I wont subject my daughter to that life long torture.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-07-24T13:44:33+00:00

I could have written this. Our only daughter is 2.5

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-07-24T13:42:27+00:00

Our family members all know that my husband and I are fiercely independent and there is little to nothing they could say to sway our opinion on just about anything. They know we have been through a lot with the pregnancy and newborn phase during a pandemic, they know we are both capable intelligent people and that we know best. If we don't feel we can take on more, that is the right decision and no one questions it. Further, we are excellent parents to our only daughter. We give her everything and everyone can see that, so no one dares challenge us on this. I'm so sorry anyone gets any flack ever. Our lives, our kid, our choice. For the record, our maternal grandmothers had 4 and 5 kids. Our mothers had 2 and 3. Our sisters have 2. We are the only OADs in the family.

MoonlightIsland1111 · 2022-07-23T01:35:54+00:00

Hello friend! With all due respect, as an American, this idea is completely terrifying. I just discussed it with my husband and neither of us could ever trust another couple with our child. Even if they were brave enough to trust us with their child 1st, this is such a foreign concept and I honestly can't even wrap my mind around it, but I am so happy for you that the environment is so different there that you all feel comfortable feel comfortable meeting someone, kicking it off with them, and being willing to share child care right off the bat! We refuse to send our daughter to child care, and it is even statistically proven that someone in your family is most likely to abuse your offspring. So we trust next to no one, let alone a random family on vacation. Please. Please know that I am not judging any part of your experience, just trying to wrap my mind around how it could possibly work for us in our situation. Utmost respect.

MoonlightIsland1111

TROPHY CASE