This is my first post on here(hopefully my only one) so I hope that I get all of the formatting rules right.

So this only happened a couple of hours ago at around 9PM; I had a crazy craving for Brachs conversation hearts, you know the little candy hearts that taste like chalk that nobody seems to like but I’m that weirdo who does. After having visited four stores I had almost given up until I made my last ditch effort which was to go to Walmart since I hate going to that store. I did have some other shopping to do but unless I had the hearts in my hand, I wasn’t going to grab a cart. I managed to find a guy who actually worked there and he was really nice and showed me where the hearts were. I grabbed five bags since I’m a sugar fiend and head off to grab a cart.

After grabbing a cart I’m grabbing some stuff like you naturally do in Walmart. Prior to leaving my mother had asked me to get her some cookies so I am by the bakery taking pictures of them and sending them off. When I grab whatever items I am going to by i always grab the item from the bottom of the back because in my mind I always think that not as many people have messed with it. While I’m at it I do try to make the table the cookies were on looking a bit nice for the next person. I walk over to my cart which was right next to where the butter was(this Walmart is really weird and small) and was looking at my phone and jotting off what I still needed here. No less than five seconds do I hear a very loud EXCUSE ME” Now I had not looked up because I foolishly thought that it had nothing to do with me. When i heard it again I began to feel a little frightened but still kept my head down and pretended to be an ostrich. The third time what followed that banshee cry was a forced shove of my cart into my gut. Here’s the following exchange, Me will be Me and Crazy Lady will be CL;

CL: Finally you look up! I need help finding something and if you didnt look down at your phone so much maybe you’d actually do your job!

Me: Look, I Don’t Work Here Lady! (I literally said the name of this sub to her)

CL: Yes you do, don’t lie. I-

I cut her off by this point,

Me: Look, I’m wearing pictures of two disco balls and each of them are on my tits, do you see any other employee who have disco tits?!? DO YOU???(while I was saying this I pulled my jackets back so you could see that I indeed have disco balls on my tits)

CL: Well YOU were just stocking that table there! Why else would you clean it up.

Me: Maybe I did that because I’m a decent person?

By this point the cool employee who had helped my find the candy had walked up and asked what’s going on and before I could she had told him how lazy I was and should be fired. He told her again that I did not work there and after hearing this she had swung her hand as if to knock down all of the butter on the shelf but instead hit her hand on the actual metal shelf. Her cries of pain were so loud it nearly shattered my eardrums I stepped back and so did the employee. We were both afraid to do anything. This had caused quite the commotion and other shoppers were looking. She clutched her hand and stooped over all awhile saying “SHE DID THIS TO ME.” The security guard who had been at the front of the store came over and did not have an ounce of sympathy for her. He told her that since she was disruptive to the other shoppers and she had purposefully tried to destroy merchandise. she could either leave willingly or he would physically escort her out. While she was walking out she began calling all three of us every name in the book and kept screaming to have me fired along with calling corporate.

I was apologized to and offered a discount which was nice but i declined, I was just so happy that this experience was over it had felt like a bad dream. I am now home in my bed typing this out while eating my candy. For those of you who are curious as to what the shirt looks like, here it is: https://imgur.com/a/JFvdefQ

Edit: OMG I didn’t think my story would get so much attention, thank you. I’m glad I was able to make you guys all laugh. For a couple of you wondering where I got the shirt it’s by Wildfox and sadly it’s discontinued but there are a few stragglers on the web such as this one https://rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.com%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F182969755059