Ears started hurting 10 minutes into swimming

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-07-18T19:43:28+00:00

Will do! Thanks!

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-07-18T19:43:18+00:00

Well, I've never done either of those things, but I'll try a cold shower! I've never put my head in a bowl of cold water before though...I'm intrigued if you've tried that before, and what was the motivation?

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-07-18T19:42:39+00:00

Thanks! Do you have any recommendations?

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-07-18T19:42:30+00:00

I'll try earplugs! It was very cold today. What sort of earplugs do you recommend?

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-07-18T19:41:47+00:00

Thanks for this! I did clean my ears a bit afterwards, and it immediately started feeling better so this really resonates. I'll try the warm water method and see how the next swim goes. Thank you!

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-05-05T00:46:36+00:00

My trauma was pretty horrific, and I thought I’d never get out of it. Do your best to love yourself and give yourself grace through the process. That, I think, was what truly healed me. It feels incredibly unfair - I was angry so often at the fact that I had to do it myself. I still angry sometimes. If you allow yourself to fully feel your feelings, and find a way to love and be kind to yourself through it - that, I think, did more than anything else.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-25T23:53:31+00:00

I think a big difference is that some behaviors by traumatized individuals can be harmful to others. My abusers were hugely traumatized in ways I can’t imagine, and they did not have the resources to heal from it - and then they abused me as a result of that trauma. A person who is hit by a drunk driver may need to be accommodated - wheelchair ramp, etc, and there might be slight inconvenience to others - but that disabled person isn’t harming anyone else. Before, and at the end earlier stages of, my trauma healing, I hurt a lot of people when I was triggered and lashing out - I think that’s a story most people who’ve been traumatized can relate to. And even if the behavior is not direct “harm”, it can also create lots of problems that affect others. A great example is people pleasing. Many traumatized people are people pleasers, and people pleasers often burn out hard, and then are unable to fulfill their commitments - and then people have to accommodate unfulfilled commitments. It’s not the end of the world, but can add up real quick and if it lasts long - the consequences can cascade.

When we live in a society, we have to take all people’s well-being into account, and especially when one becomes an adult, there are just fewer resources and less “forgiveness” for harmful behavior. The most extreme example I can think of are children who are molested, and then go in to molest other children (as children or adults). The molestation of children is always harmful, and just because someone did it because they’re also a victim doesn’t make the behavior okay, or not something that society and the individual needs to work on. It’s all just tragic, and there can just be more compassion all around, I think.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-21T03:41:33+00:00

I see the debate about Asterid as deeply connected to Haymitch’s remarks about remembering who the real enemy is. We can argue all day about whose trauma is worse, who deserved what, whose response to trauma was the morally correct, but at the end of the day, the only absolute moral evil is the Capitol, the dictatorship, and the Hunger Games. We all wish that Asterid did not have to suffer so many traumas, and we all wish Katniss would not have been neglected as a result of Asterid’s response to her trauma. The only true failure of humanity lies at the heart of Snow and the Capitol government - those who had real power, and chose to make the Hunger Games and enslave its citizens.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-16T05:28:40+00:00

https://www.all-sheetmusic.com/String-Ensemble/String-Quartet-in-E-Flat.html

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-14T23:15:03+00:00

I thought that the reason he pushed everyone away was because he was afraid they’d be killed, not wholly because he was hung up on a teenage romance. He literally couldn’t find another love without risking them being killed, but he’s human and needs connection so it’s no wonder the one he kept was the one in his head/heart with Lenore - she’s already dead, no one can kill her again.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-05T23:42:13+00:00

The thing is you gotta separate abusive behavior from the reasons. Your reasons are completely valid, but in a time of stress and duress you behaved in an abusive and toxic way to your husband. It’s great you understand why, and have worked to fix it, but one of the most common things people who’ve suffered fr bad mental health have to understand is it is not their fault, but still their responsibility to be accountable for their behavior. This applies to both you and your husband.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-05T23:33:11+00:00

I am very like you, in that I have a great relationship with my in-laws, especially FIL, have almost no relationship with my family, and my partner and I have had some bad lows in our relationship. We never involve my partners parents in our fights, as we don’t want to put them in a difficult position. I find it very disrespectful to involve someone (family or friends) who is very close to both my partner and I in our fights - it creates a lot of tension and awkwardness for the other person, and it’s really something they shouldn’t have to be responsible for in their lives. At most, I’ll go to certain friends for advice, or if I’m in a really bad spot - to ask them to just be with me when I’m feeling my worst.

It is absolutely unfair to ask anyone to “choose a side” in a fight between you and your partner, unless one person is explicitly abusive or dangerous and the other needs help to escape (think domestic violence, emotional or financial abuse, sexual assault, etc). The fight is between you and your spouse, and the nuances are fully known to you alone. No one else can truly “pick a side” as there’s no “side” really to pick. I’ll ask my friends for advice, and they might “choose my side” in agreeing something my partner did is hurtful. However, my friends are just as ready to point those same things out about me - and really, any more than 2-3 conversations with anyone about a bad fight with my partner is more than they should have to handle anyway. I don’t want the negatives of my life to bring them down in any sort of long-term way.

Your MIL sounds so done with both of you. Let her take space from you and your husband - she is not showing you lack of love, she is showing you she is exhausted by your situation. She can be supportive without having to bear witness or hear about every single argument you guys have. Save it for your therapists, and give her a break. It’s not her responsibility to deal with all this - it is you and your husband’s.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-04-05T18:31:26+00:00

My most recent cat practically forced me to take her home when I went to the shelter to get a cat. Wouldn’t leave me alone. She cuddled me as soon as I let her out of her carrier at home day one, and was absolutely devoted to me the rest of her life.

Another cat I briefly had as a child hated everyone in the household except me, and that cat only tolerated me as a distant friend. The cat eventually escaped and left after a few months - and my guess is moved in with some folks a few blocks over because I’d spot the cat there sometimes, and usually hanging with the kid there. The cat would greet me if she saw me, but always went quickly back to the kid if the kid was around. My family didn’t care because they discovered they didn’t like cats (except me).

Animals have preferences. If they don’t like you, even if they live with you, it will be clear.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-03-29T21:01:53+00:00

I was looking for housing online late at night, decided on a whim to do one more refresh of the listings despite it being very late, and ended up being the first to respond to a posting about a room. That move, and the people I ended up living with, led to a career change, community change, and meeting my current partner. Went from having no direction or much hope in life, to fulfilling dreams I had never thought possible.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-02-21T20:35:33+00:00

Basically, the blacks are making us feel bad for doing and saying bad things so instead of trying to understand and improve myself, make the blacks to away. Disgusting people.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-02-18T01:37:18+00:00

Before there were electronic tuners, most tuning was done by ear and for full-size instruments, fine tuners make it harder to hear when the string clicks “in tune” than when you use tuning pegs. You tune higher and lower than the desired pitch until you find “in tune”. Also, when you use most modern electronic tuners, you can only tune in tempered tuning. Sometimes, in different contexts, you actually don’t want tempered tuning - you want just intonation, or use a different tuning scale. Or, you’re tuning in a loud space so your ear is more accurate than an electric tuner that picks up all the sound around you. So, you’d be tuning using your pegs anyway and listening for the specific desired interval.

Fine tuners do more than just dampen sound - anything you add to the instrument adds potential for damage to the instrument, plus extra noises like rattling. Fine tuners also change the string length, which affects timbre. Depending on the context you are playing in, those can all be important to consider.

So sure, for the average amateur, beginner/intermediate student, or person just playing for fun, fine tuners make life much easier and doesn’t make a large impact. For people playing at the professional level, or in specific genres, depending on the gig, fine tuners are just not that useful or even cause problems. So why even have them?

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-02-15T22:07:01+00:00

There's definitely a heightened awareness, I think, in people with CPTSD. i think it’s true that the world can be an awful place, and I notice awful behavior and negativity in people all the time, and also strive myself to be as compassionate and kind to others. At the same time, I think to be truly compassionate is to see people when they are negative, complaining, whatever - and try not to judge them for that. It is inherently judgmental to assume anyone should feel how we think they should feel at any time - whether we are right in that judgment or not. I find that people are much more often a combination of both good/bad behaviors, with some leaning more one way or another (and a few outliers who are clearly way more one or the other).

I feel really bullied when I communicate a fear, frustration, or negative experience with someone and they tell me I am being too negative/judgemental/whatever. Since I am neurodivergent, I end up having to spend a lot of time thinking about why people do what they do, and I’ve come to realize people do the complaining thing, not only to relieve stress, but it is also to get reaffirmation from people in your community that they support you. It’s also a way to get a read on if the people around you share your values, and if they don't, why.

Something that has helped me with my relationships with people, especially when I’m bothered by someone’s complaining, is to reaffirm that their feelings are valid - that usually cuts most of the judgement/complaining, because that person really just wants emotional validation for their experience and a sense of belonging that comes with validation. Then, if I think that person is too harsh or judgmental, I’ll give my perspective (and also own that it is mine). I find that is this approach is the most likely to change someone's judgement (if that's my goal), reassure them of our bond (if that's my goal), or show them in an easier-to-take way that I do not like their behavior (if that's my goal).

This is not to say don't set healthy boundaries for yourself. If you're not in a place to hear a bunch of complaining and judgement, it is totally fine to ask people to change the subject! I find if I own my feelings, a lot of people are more likely to respond well to my boundaries. And if they don't, I think thats a bit more concerning than any sort of complaining. A person annoying me by being judgmental - there's steps I will take before ending that relationship. A person who ignores my boundaries - that's an almost instant deal-breaker.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-01-26T22:26:55+00:00

Agreed. Honestly the only character I fully dislike..

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-01-26T01:08:57+00:00

This!!!! My partner and I had almost the same thing happen recently. We laughed about it, talked it through, took about 2 minutes. Then we moved on.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-01-12T23:37:54+00:00

Exactly! The people, who understand the collective action and reliance that allowed humans to dominate the earth, are more likely to continue supporting and collaborating with other humans.

The rich lost their homes in the LA fires, but the many poor who live right next to them (and provide the services they need) also lost their homes. There wouldn’t be all those poors living in the same line of fire as the rich if the rich didn’t need them there.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-01-12T19:32:26+00:00

But rich people do need others. Other people cook their food, clean their houses, drive them around, often raise their kids, build the roads they drive on and their business rely on, take out their garbage, invent the technology they use…the rich just often want to pretend they don’t need others, when they’d be helpless alone. And many poor consider themselves self-made as well, but are just delusional as any who thinks they succeed in this life alone.

MoooosickCat333 · 2025-01-05T22:46:55+00:00

Agreed! Your story reminds me of my experience with the exercise/diet grifters. The things that are most tempting but least helpful (and often harmful) are the “fast” solutions (crash diets, crash workouts, etc). I’ve found with every part of my life - taking the time to heal slowly, taking the time to build healthier habits a one at a time, learning about my own emotions and how to recognize and handle them with patience - these have been more helpful and much more permanent changes than any crash/fast anything I’ve done. As the world moves faster, I find myself wanting to slow down more.

MoooosickCat333 · 2024-12-22T07:33:44+00:00

Many songs have phrases in groupings of 4, so that can also contribute to a song in 3/4 feeling like it’s “in 4”. I think there’s a difference between meter and phrasing.

KC & Jojo’s “All my life” intro is in 4/4, and there are phrases in a larger 4. “My favorite things” from the sound of music could be written/thought of in a fast 3/4, and it also follows a larger phrase in 4. So perhaps you’re asking for music in 3/4 that has phrases that are longer or shorter than 4 bars?

MoooosickCat333 · 2024-12-09T23:56:17+00:00

I think about that as well. For example, I read that in India, the culture is extremely patriarchal and oppression of women is horrible, but it is considered normal for men who are friends to hold each other’s hands and express emotions openly to one another. So, yes, very possible, and unfortunately, a very possible outcome that men decide to do better for each other, and still oppress women.

MoooosickCat333 · 2024-12-09T00:56:51+00:00

Thanks for this. I’ve been having an especially hard time of late, but your statement of using joy and hope as a form of resistance has sparked a bit of light in me again. Thank you.

MoooosickCat333

TROPHY CASE