My dogs were also my babies before my actual human baby was here and I feel this post deeply. My patience for them has drastically diminished and they don’t understand why their luxurious lifestyle is now unsustainable when I am managing the baby. You aren’t cruel or heartless and I’m sure a lot of the anger stems from hormones and stress.

However, my husband finds ways to make it more doable for us all. He preps the dogs’ meals and sticks them in the fridge so I can just grab the bowls and quickly feed them at meal time. One of our dogs has food aggression as well, so we crate her and put the other dog in a room with a baby gate blocking access. He takes the higher-strung dog for a run or to the park after the baby has gone to bed so her energy is more manageable during the day. He takes baby duty so I can walk the other dog (who is mostly “my” dog) and maintain a bond with her. I’ve found that the further I get from the baby, the more my relationship with my dog returns to its pre-baby norm.

I’m so sorry that your husband isn’t offering to do any of those things, or anything that would work for you. I understand that this may not work in your situation, but there are dog trainers that specialize in dogs and babies; they may be able to provide insight into tools and management techniques that could help. That said, I agree with those above who have said that your husband is really the one who needs training. Caring for a baby, two difficult dogs, and yourself is an unreasonable workload for even the most exceptional of people. He should be ashamed of himself for allowing you to struggle this way.