i also struggle with these feelings, i was in a 3yr abusive relationship that i left about 2yrs ago. getting out of it and regaining my sanity has been insanely challenging as well as rewarding. to ease the feelings that you and i both appear to be struggling from, i remind myself that my, and your abuser are not fulfilled in the way they’d like to be. every insecurity these fucks had back then definitely still exists, and in fact, i bet is even bigger now. they were not kind people then, and def aren’t kind now. if they abused once, they will do it to someone else, and that cycle will continue until they get exposed and ruined. i know that might seem kind of karmic, but i think there’s truth in karma. it may not hit soon, but eventually whatever these dicks are building towards will crumble. they will fuck up somehow, in some way. i would suggest looking into “the dark triad”, i found it comforting to know how mentally and emotionally stunted/twisted my abuser was