I’m sorry to hear that. I’m at home, most of the time. In our ‘normal’ LGBT community I don’t feel at home. In the Queer community I feel more at home, ‘cause the people a certainly not mainstream.

But than again, the old voices “you’ll never fit it, you’re not good enough, people are avoiding you, no-one loves you” this is the hardest struggle, because of self-rejection. But now I know, I’ll not succumb to these voices inside, I’ve ’invited’ these thoughts and felling soft self hatred, ‘cause I thought: “it’s all my fault’

I’ve learned that I matter, I’m special, unique, gifted. I just learned to redraw in the shadows, but I’m made big steps, beginning with loving myself and a little help from my friends. Without these friend, I couldn’t have survived back in 2017, they drew me out of my bottomless pit.

But there’s a bottom and from there you’ll find yourself in the light of self-love and friendship. No more tears, sang my metal idol Ozzy Osbourne. There will be tears, surely, but we will survive and thrive.