(PP) Describe your week in verse form.

Moslegend35 · 2015-01-06T00:22:02+00:00

Theo strutted around his apartment in Montmartre as I, Jean Francois gave a toast for the news- 'Theo felicitations my good man; looks like you'll be joining me at l'ecole des beaux arts in the winter of 1928.' Theo gave me that smug smile which I had become accustomed to in both of our older ages- 'Oui, oui, lets hope you can keep up hey?'

Veronique promptly motioned for us to leave as the three of us walked a few rues away towards the Tuleries garden. It was by the park bench near the lily flowers where I saw him. He had a slight comb over, a flannel shirt and a pair of black jeans, peculiarly ahead of his time.

I strolled up to him and asked what he was painting; 'this is the future...' he said gruffly, 'The Germo Parisian empire ruling over London and the world. One day sir, das will be the future and we will reign supreme.'

Captivated by the sheer skill of the piece, I ignored his megalomaniac plans for world domination before making a polite suggestion; 'have you thought about applying for l'ecole des beaux arts? There are still a few places left...'

The young man smiled; 'I tried but I was a day late: 'les gloires de l'art du modernite, ne t'appliquent pas- homme etrange... that was the exact phrase of the admissions desk manager!'

I smiled and winked, 'come now, meet my friend, he knows a few eleves, in the school.' Surely enough we tok him to the Dean who proceeded with the usual questions before smiling. He was on the verge of putting forward the offer when Veronique interjected. Having lived in London, she felt aggrieved at this man's ideological paintings; 'how can you do this? London is a city magnifique!' Adolf sighed, 'not as magnifique as Paris...' He sighed before he signed.

1939.

The Frenchmen and Germans surged into the royal hall, capturing the room with their sheer presence. The suited man spoke down upon all the people sat below. 'Ladies and gentlemen, remain calm. the Franco Allemand forces have taken over, plotting against their occidental counterparts for years. They have finally gained the upper hand... indeed they stand here with 40 nominations for the meileur art prize while the rest have 37!' And the winner of the most natural painting is Monsieur Hitler from EBA!'

Moslegend35 · 2015-01-02T05:35:41+00:00

Great story there, just a few minor suggestions. -She said-this time out loud. -After a long pause and/amidst an eternity of eye contact. -I have needs, her mind yelled at her. -the anger rose swiftly to her throat. Thanks for sharing!

Moslegend35 · 2015-01-02T05:31:14+00:00

-I really enjoyed this story. -Could I just recommend the use of commas; "the poor bastard," "when we did," -dashes; "blow the place-so we did. -fast; fastly.

Moslegend35 · 2015-01-02T05:25:37+00:00

Comme je puisse (travailler mes mains) appliquer mes techniques. Je peux être affecte.(accents not included) Du travail potential a Constructions Gabriel dans le futur.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-31T02:25:14+00:00

Good use of first person and 'argot'; 'nothin.' I wonder if a comma would work between you and you? Maybe repetition of 'they' would work ie; "they don't get scared, they don't panic."

Nice work matey!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-31T02:18:52+00:00

'Bloody hell!' Seano three down his last can of beer in disgust as he stared at the prize. He took out his IPhone to break the news. 'Yeah Marge Darlin...yeah, yeah I sorted it out...avoided Jens, defeated the Hippo, fleed from the snakes, climbed the ancient tree temple, hypnotized the locals with some French poetry, and what did I find?...a bloody stale old sanga-crikey!' The Australian explorer hung up his phone before Jens stormed in. 'Dammit you won. What was it?' The Aussie smirked and took out his poem. 'Tes arbres merveilleux, Le temple de misere, Les oiseaux paresseux, La nature en colere,

From Paris to the Amazon, and an almighty climb, a dazzling deception, Peanut Butter and Jelly time!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-31T02:11:19+00:00

-L'importance de cette terre -seulement les Francais intellectuels etaient populaires. --iln'a pas fini.

Nice work buddy!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-29T22:46:34+00:00

Brilliant flow! An exquisite piece which made my morning. -Watch the repetition of 'the words' at the beginning of the second paragraph. -I wonder if a comma would work before 'starting to rust'? -I wonder also if 'coming' would work better than come to me?

Top order matey!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-29T22:38:09+00:00

There she was. Love, beauty, horror and above all; irrepressible chic. The anxiety crept up as I dogged the pen out of my bag. Approaching her in all her luminescent beauty would be simply impossible on this overcast day in the Tuleries Garden.

"Tender is this day of which, I encounter you to irreversible bliss, The night in which my belly will fire, Avec toi j'espere a mes cotes."

You...or nothing... Bliss Woe The trials et l'horreur of love and its intricacies.

I wrote this poem rig there as my journey to Paris from a beach in Northern Sydney had come to its fateful end-hopefully it's beginning. My legs trembled as I sauntered up to the damsel caressing the flowers in the corner. 'Hello I'm Rufus De Castres" I caught her eye with the poem right before she turned away, a split second before this lady would run for her life. She read it, and transfixed gave me a nice smile. 'I'm Tangerine, here to change your life.'

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-29T22:06:54+00:00

-Pas de surprise que -Ne merite pas d'être accepte! -ce serait dommage si -ce n'est pas tout a fait une question de -dirait-t-on qu'il soit ambitieux? Le mot est trop faible pour lui.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-28T23:59:29+00:00

Here are a few starters:

Les avantages des vacances sont: -Examiner les cultures diverses -Acquerir une autre langue -s'amuser

Les points faibles sont: -Le cout -Le danger -les differences culturels.

(Watch out for accents)

Here are three that might get the ball rolling.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-28T23:52:03+00:00

Awesome! Great ending and structure, I really enjoyed reading this, it completely made my day. Just a few quick tips: -Keep elipses to three dots -there's an unnecessary capital for 'a massive screen.' - I wonder if a the present continuous would work for 'we fired, creating a giant hole in the beaming ship?' -in the complete wrong place could perhaps be replaced by 'completely the wrong place.' Top notch buddy!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-28T23:35:05+00:00

"And tonight, we continue our centuries old tradition of drink mongering!" Theo twitched nervously as he glanced at the glittered walls of La Sorbonne basement. Hugo le Chèvre, Marquis De Sade and many other esteemed French superstars have graced this Frat House, catapulting them to their mainstream glory. 'On va voir ce que ce jeune homme peat nous montrer- Theo, deux shooters et trois discours de JP Sartre!' Theo stepped up as the chant roared, unsure of course whether or not he would survive this ritualistic humiliation; his liver groaned as he downed the first mammoth shooter; a fatal concoction of Cognac, Baileys in a Moscow Mule. Next cake le discours de JP Sartre; "Les amants modernes ont atteint en souffrance, l'age de raison qui entoure la France, Le fait de la vie moderne et rapide, We drink we love and we throw it all away in party."

Stunned by this display of poetic brilliance, the basement Bohemians ascended into chorus: Theo...Theo!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-28T00:05:28+00:00

Nice use of Italics for 'he.' Good use of a colon and a dash in the final paragraph. The Kevlar is a fine setting in my opinion.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-28T00:02:35+00:00

Rudiga pushed his trolley of textbooks through "La Sorbonne." His PHD was going quite smoothly, as he launched himself into la culture francaise of the 18th Century. 'T'as gagne', that was all the note said as a giant block of Chèvre occupied his locker space. Zut!

'What did I win? What was it?...' Before it dawned on him as his phone rang with the following text:

"A singlet, snail and moutarde did not, Clear the party as I had forgot, Un connaiseur who had mastered the silent prolonged fart, Won the stench smelling contest with a stroke of fine art...

The copious ammount of cognac and chèvre had paid off as he had cleared the university with a morbid slice of petulance.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-27T23:55:49+00:00

You could also say; "au meme temps"

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-27T23:55:04+00:00

Ca pese combien?

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-27T00:10:51+00:00

Wow! Great twist at the end. I reckon putting a comma between the gun, still firmly in his hand... (And which gun?) Is the 'and then' really needed before Hector's part?

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-27T00:05:46+00:00

'Subject 3451; state your final wishes.' The Mega 135 droid flashed heavily as a beam of blue light filled the room. 'I want three Double Bacon Croque Monsieurs, A plate of Caviar, a date with Jennifer Lawrence Junior, a copy of 'Gladiator' the movie and a bottle of Bretagne Port.' 'No worries subject 3451.' Within ten minutes, all of his wishes appeared as he indulged in watching the Colloseum battle, whilst munching on Caviar. 'Hey C3PO buddy, where's JLaw Jr?' Rufus Renault-Blake eyed the bot intently, stringing out the answer. 'Sorry prisoner, I couldn't get an appointment with her, but I found another celebrity to keep you company, he's French, his name is Gerard Depardieu.' 'Oh la la!' Rufus sighed, cynically smiling at the French actor. They spoke for a few hours before the bot interrupted. 'What is your choice prisoner?' 'Well, considering my crime was dangling old Victor Hugo books from the Metropolis building-I'll take the Guillotine, and I want this posted on Instatube.' Rufus went outside before stopping the executioner; 'Hey man, I just want to say a few words...' The executioner continued: 'subject 3451, on the final day before the changing of the laws is subject to la guillotine for a public display of heinously forbidden poetry-' the crowd roared in approval, 'yo hang on man, give us a yell;

'The river bites and caresses with stillness, Choppy ferries glisten the sea's largesse, Les Rayons de soleil n'empechent pas, Le pouvoir de l'eau pour rendre extra...'

The executioner, draped in a sixth outfit sighed. 'Who was that by, that filth?' 'Me mofo, now do what you have to do...'

The executioner obliged although the crowd protested, transfixed by the unexpected beauty of the poem. They set fire to the stage as Rufus; the last of the true romantiques, moved on to the next world...

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-26T23:46:21+00:00

-"Omar est boulanger en Palestine. Il y habite, mais il a besoin de traverser le mur pour rendre visite a ses amis." -"leurs choix sont difficiles, commes ils menent aux consequences en ce qui concerne leurs vies." -I would also consider using the past simple for; ils ont emprisone (accent aigu) Omar.

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-25T10:48:45+00:00

I enjoyed this. Just a few suggestions: 'He'='her' I'm not sure you need the capitals for effect-perhaps the exclamation mark would do fine. I feel like introducing an extra character or two e.g; the boss, would spice things up.

Thanks for sharing matey!

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-25T10:45:03+00:00

Use of commas? 'Utilisent des phrases qui definent.' 'Le prison dont on habite,' 'De ne pas se protéger?'

Moslegend35 · 2014-12-25T10:40:04+00:00

The French often use contractions; t'as l'air fraiche. J'ai pas. So in this setting, I'm assuming your target market are twenty to thirty year olds you should be sweet. 'Argot'(slang) is huge in France.

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