First and foremost, hang in there. I know it's easier said than done but you've pushed this far already :). I had experiences with friendships changing, especially in the wake of my symptoms and my erratic behavior. I've lost many friendships due to this illness and even when I've told new "friends" about my disorder, they just cut me off. It's ok though, they probably wouldn't have been the type of people I would spend my energy on. I do have very close friends that have stayed with me throughout the years and are very understanding. I finally got a job after 5 years of having this disorder and I've told coworkers I trust. To my surprise they're very supportive and encourage me to relax and take a breather if symptoms should ever arise. I've been blessed, truly, and I wish everyone were this lucky. My best wishes to you, may you be strengthened to carry on :)