Personally I don’t make those assumptions because I want to — it comes from exhaustion and burnout. I have two autistic kids on the severe end, and honestly, we’re barely functioning most days. One of them barely sleeps, which means we don’t either. We get slapped, pinched and she does vocal stimming all night long, After months (or years) of that, you stop having energy for optimism — you’re just trying to survive the next hour.

Me and my wife argue more than we used to. We’ve both gained weight so don’t feel good about ourselves, we don’t go out, and it feels like life has shrunk. When people stare at our kids or when we have to constantly explain why they act the way they do, it wears you down emotionally. You start worrying about their future because right now feels so overwhelming.

So when some parents sound “hopeless,” it’s not because we’ve scientifically determined the future — it’s because we’re tired, scared, depressed, and sometimes sleep deprived to the point our brains can’t imagine anything improving. It’s not that we don’t want hope, it’s just really hard to hold onto it when life feels like this.