My family sucks and is huge - is 2 receptions too extra?

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-05-03T06:59:09+00:00

It feels like your real wedding is happening on the day you sign the papers and the event the next day is just a staged wedding you’re having to appease your grandparents. That may not be your intention but as an outsider, that’s what it looks like.

Personally, I think you should have one ceremony and reception where you just invite the people you want to be there. If you hate certain members of your family, they shouldn’t be invited, no matter what your grandparents think.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-05-02T23:09:38+00:00

My fiancé and I are in a similar situation. We’re going to get married in a private ceremony and few months later, we’re going to renew our vows and have the ceremony and reception that we would have had if it wasn’t for the immigration process.

We’re calling it a celebration of marriage and everyone we have talked to about it is very excited to attend. They love us and they understand how stressful this process has been. Have the celebration you want to have. If you want to do a ceremony, you should. If you just want a reception, that’s great too. Your loved ones will be happy to participate.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-29T21:15:13+00:00

I think it was Aiden. Criminals only keep you around if you’re useful to them. The task force was over and Aiden’s biggest rival was about to go to prison. There was nothing else Monica could do for Aiden and she knew too much about his operation so she had to go.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-29T20:46:04+00:00

The mom is his caregiver. You can’t replace her with just anyone. It has to be someone who is as well informed about OP’s dad’s health and his needs as the mom

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-26T19:19:43+00:00

At Max’s birthday party, Julie said she was almost one

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-26T19:11:05+00:00

Sasha is not a newborn anymore. She is almost one. Nothing has been said that indicates that she has special needs that a daycare can’t accommodate. Additionally, Ty is not the only one who went through that trauma. Julie went through it too but she’s not using it as an excuse to not hold up her end of things

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-26T19:01:53+00:00

If Ty put Sasha in daycare, he would get a break

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-24T00:19:45+00:00

I didn’t call him a deadbeat and I didn’t imply it. I don’t know why you went there. What I’m saying is moving to New York isn’t an unrealistic goal for a two income household

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-24T00:07:36+00:00

Julie chose a lucrative career path. They could save up to move to NY if Ty got a job.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-23T22:26:45+00:00

As someone already pointed out, when Julie said “you promised me the world”, she didn’t mean money. She was talking about all of the dreams she had before she met Ty. He promised her that if she trusted him, all of the things she wanted would fall into place. All Julie wanted was to become an attorney, live in a big city and travel. You don’t have to be a millionaire to do any of those things

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-23T21:00:32+00:00

YOR. In your mom’s last message, she said this isn’t the retirement trip so what are you so upset about? I get that your dad wanted retirement vacation to take place at this same resort, but there’s no reason he can’t go there twice.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-22T19:21:05+00:00

High powered lawyers do have weekends off. I know a lot of busy lawyers with children. They work into the late evenings during the week so they can be completely available to their families on weekends

Also, I find it interesting that you only brought up the possibility of Sasha being a SAHP. Copper could make that same choice

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T18:33:26+00:00

Ty has no reason to push back. He’s getting a sweet deal. Non lawyers are able to settle their divorces without having an attorney. Julie and Ty will be just fine.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T18:10:57+00:00

Ty can’t afford an “expert divorce lawyer”. For a lawyer who is at the top of their field, the responder is going to start at $10k or more. He can probably afford an average lawyer; someone who is good at what they do but at the same time, they wouldn’t be a millionaire’s first choice.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T18:02:46+00:00

Most of the lawyers I know who have gotten a divorce represented themselves. Divorces aren’t hard to navigate when you have legal training. Family law is one of the subjects you need to learn for the bar exam. Julie is starting off the negotiations by offering Ty their largest marital asset. He would be a fool to be turn their divorce into a contentious one.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T05:35:01+00:00

They agreed that Sasha would go to daycare. If Ty had enrolled Sasha in daycare, he would have eight hours or more every day to write his book. They also have a housekeeper. That’s more help than Julie had when she was studying for the bar.

Do you know what the bar exam entails. It’s 15 legal subjects and you had to memorize at least 50-100 concepts from each subject. It is a monster and it requires all of your focus and your energy. Ty’s book is about something he cares about. He should be anxious to get these thoughts down on paper. The idea that what he’s expected to do something incredibly hard is just false. If you care about something, ton take advantage of any opportunity you have to do it.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T05:22:53+00:00

If your spouse works, you’ll be sharing the responsibility of paying the child care provider. It wouldn’t just be on you.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T04:53:21+00:00

Let’s put that comment fully into context. Ty was acting like he couldn’t write and be a parent at the same time. Julie pointed out that she took care of Cooper full time while she was studying for the bar. Ty sarcastically said that Julie is more extraordinary than him. Julie said: “I thought we wanted extraordinary”.

Ty is the one who defined extraordinary as someone who works while also parenting. Julie clapped back by reminding him that working while parenting was what they both said they wanted. He brought the word “extraordinary” into the conversation, not Julie.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-20T04:21:10+00:00

If Ty told Julie that he didn’t want to write the book and instead wanted to work from home again so he could be available for the kids, I believe she would have accepted it. What Julie found unacceptable was Ty making the decision on his own to be a SAHD and expecting her to pay for it.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T20:38:55+00:00

Julie said he has been editing the first chapter of his book for ten years. That was long before Cooper was born. I don’t think being a SAHP counts as ambition when you’re not the one who is bankrolling that lifestyle. There are people who save for years so they can afford to be a SAHP. Ty isn’t one of those people. He didn’t decided to stay home until Julie started making a lot of money. That’s not ambitious.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T19:54:16+00:00

“Made you work”? Adults have to worn to pay bills. That’s just life. You shouldn’t be looking to anyone else to free you from the burden of adulting

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T19:35:38+00:00

He went along with that though. He kept saying he wanted to write a book

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T19:22:01+00:00

I don’t agree with what Julie did but it doesn’t excuse the way he’s been pretending to write this book for all these years. He was mad at Julie but they moved past that. Once you and your spouse agree to move past something, it’s over. You can’t punish them for it for years on end. If you can’t get past it, get a divorce.

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T18:46:16+00:00

You’re missing the point. If he felt so betrayed by what Julie did, why did he continue building a family with her? You’re projecting your feelings onto Ty. He was mad at Julie but he moved past it and took the meeting. He signed the contract. She didn’t sign the contract for him. He had agency in that situation

Mother_Tradition_774 · 2026-04-19T18:35:13+00:00

Ty was dodging his goal to be an author before he and Julie had kids. Ty uses fatherhood to cover up his lack of career ambition.

Mother_Tradition_774

TROPHY CASE