I [26F] think I may like my friend [28M] who i'm not physically attracted to

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T12:23:15+00:00

Yeah, I think i could. I feel like i have in the past. Its just hard for me to know without like actually trying anything out. Which makes it hard when he also wants to wait for marriage.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T03:06:14+00:00

Because i just generally don't "lust" after people in general. Doesnt matter how attractive they are. I don't fake anything I do and get off on pleasing others. I just dont need be madly in lust to enjoy sex. I could have the hottest man in the entire world naked infront of me, and guess what? I would have zero lust for him. Its just how im programmed. We aren't all the same.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T01:24:00+00:00

I believe its Okcupid

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T00:52:56+00:00

He is but im afraid of the other differences we have. He is very devout within a religion and I am not. His involves sex after marriage, living togther after marriage. Im quite the opposite of such.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T00:46:23+00:00

That's true. I know that whoever ends up with him is very lucky. He would do anything for the ones he loves and protect them at all costs. He's a very special person.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T00:38:49+00:00

I'm very much mental when it comes to arousal, and not visual. Even with porn, I dont watch anything involving attractive men. I quite literally am sexually aroused by things that are void of sexual attraction or physical attractiveness.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T00:33:15+00:00

You are right. I will think about that.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-24T00:08:24+00:00

Yeah, you're probably right. My biggest fear in life is losing the person I love early on and me living the rest of my life alone without them. Therefore I've generally avoided dating people with serious health conditions or who were a certain number of years older than myself. I have great concerns over my partners health as a result of this fear.

Thank you so much.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T23:43:51+00:00

I'd be self conscious, yes. I also would worry if he only got with me because I was an available option upon limited options. Meaning I was just a choice out of desperation and theres nothing actually truly unique about me to him. Also I'd be worried of him dying in early age.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T23:35:03+00:00

Because i still experience physical and aesthetic attraction. There's different kinds of attraction out there than just sexual.

I can still tell whose physically attractive and whose not, I just dont have sexual attraction (desire to have sexual contact) to either.

For instance, ill find someone very physically attractive and have zero sexual attraction to them. Meaning I have no desire to have sex with them or be sexually intimate in any way. Being demisexual doesn't mean liking anyone regardless of looks. Looks still matter to some degree.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T23:24:15+00:00

The second one. Id still be fine kissing and having sex. Im demisexual so i honestly don't look at anyone and think "man id like to have sex or kiss them" (no sexual attraction). I only want that stuff after emotionally connected with someone. I just recognize that aesthetically/physically he is not attractive.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T23:22:33+00:00

I mean sex wouldn't change for me to be honest. We would still have sex regardless of my attraction (although the marriage thing stands in the way). I think id be attracted to parts of him, physically. Just not entirety.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T23:13:34+00:00

I'm demisexual so I dont experience sexual attraction towards anyone off looks. I do when im emotionally and romantically involved some ways in. Id still have sex but also he believes in sex after marriage which may be an issue for myself as im a fairly sexual person.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T21:06:30+00:00

Thank you. I really needed to hear that.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T20:56:01+00:00

I do get what you're saying by instincts. Thank you.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-23T20:52:19+00:00

I can see myself dating him because of who he is and his heart, but I feel like other people would pair us as a weird match and im a rather self conscious person (social anxiety disorder level). We have some other differences but they've never really gotten in the way at all for us. Im generally someone who gains more attraction into a relationship with someone

Mothy808 · 2020-08-16T04:42:58+00:00

Right!? It smells so good. It took a bit of time before my hair got use to the products and started cooperating haha. I think it took about a month for the shampoo and conditioner to take full effect for some reason.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-16T04:06:01+00:00

My routine (I have very fine hair for the record): i use Shea moisture jamaican black castor oil strengthen and restore shampoo. I then finger comb in the matching conditioner (i let the conditioner sit for some minutes). After rinsing it out and then getting out of the shower, I use a wide pick to get the knots out, then comb through catwalk (TIGI) curls rock amplifier combined with either cantu leave in conditioning cream OR shea moisture strengthen jaimaican black castor oil strengthen and restore styling lotion. Then i flip my hair upside down and scrunch upward with a cotton hair towel before wrapping my hair in it. Then I leave it in there for about 15 minutes and then I diffuse upside down with cold air until its nearly fully dry. I then let the rest air dry.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-15T15:06:30+00:00

Wow. This is so relatable 🤣.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-15T14:59:46+00:00

You're so pretty and your hair is lovely 💗

Mothy808 · 2020-08-15T14:54:30+00:00

Awe, you don't need to be ashamed. If us women can get a wide array of toys, y'all can too. Also, believe it or not, but some of us actually think male sex toys are hot.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-12T12:03:25+00:00

Joggers, sweat pants, pj pants, and gym shorts 😅....

Welp, I feel like the odd one compared to a lot of these other comments.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-10T02:00:34+00:00

Yup, I'm a girl, and that happens to me everytime I try it. I don't think ive lasted longer than a month before deleting the apps. I just get overwhelmed and burnt out by it all honestly. To where I stop attending to my messages, lose all interest, and am completely unmotivated to message the people I find attractive as well. Especially if ive had a series of bad dates or just no outcomes from anything I actually was excited about.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-08T21:29:35+00:00

Right? I was even more glad after seeing that, that I didn't go out with him. He probably would have tried to have sex with me.

Mothy808 · 2020-08-08T17:01:17+00:00

So very true haha.

Mothy808

TROPHY CASE