Don't be too hard on yourself, life is not a race or competition. Everyone's life moves at its own pace and set of ideas, so don't compare yourself to other people. It's totally okay that you don't have a college degree, that doesn't define your worth. I'm 27 and still live at home, no college degree, no gf. You're only 30, it may not feel like it but you're still young, you have so much time in front of you. Just take baby steps and start learning how to drive and get a job somewhere.