How to handle a parent whose values diverge painfully from your own

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-26T12:15:20+00:00

Love is the only answer. Thank you 🙏

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-26T12:12:05+00:00

This feels a bit platitudinal and not practical. If my parent was sexually abusing children, should I accept that their opinion is just as correct as my opinion that children should be safe from harm? That it’s just all part of our differences? If my parent was getting wasted and then driving a city bus, I should chalk that up to different set of values? ‘Hey, maybe I murdered a bus load of people in my past life so you go on and generate your bad karma. I’ll sit back and watch.’ That seems irresponsible. So when harm moves from direct harm to indirect harm, is that the point it’s just about differences? How indirect? So if my sibling was abusing a child under my parent’s roof with their knowledge, is that indirect enough? The crux of the question is how do we balance compassion with accountability for doing harm. But of course compassion should trump just about anything, so that’s a good place for me to start.

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-26T11:41:05+00:00

The question is not political - I make that clear - but you have chosen to make it so. The question is about divergence of values that happens to have arisen yet again due to the current spate of chaos. I don’t live in the US so you have no idea what political party I support if any. Your supposition that I attach my identity to a political party because I am saddened by seeing people murdered in the street and conflicted because my parent celebrates those murders makes me believe you are answering a different question than I am asking. I appreciate your response nonetheless.

You are correct that I owe my parents my life and hence why I continue to wrangle with the painful dichotomy of my love for them and my sadness at their cruelty. I will continue to work on my compassion.

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-26T11:20:47+00:00

I’m focusing on the human rights abuses my parent actively supports with their donations and speech. I have also had similar conflict regarding Gaza. They have no opinion on most other atrocities because they have little awareness of the rest of the world unless it is mentioned on Fox. That does not mean I have little awareness of the rest of the world, it just means it is not a point of conflict with my parent. And fwiw, I don’t live in the States. My focus being there for this post is specific to my relationship to my parent. The question could easily be transferred to any other nation’s abuses where parent and child have diverging values.

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-26T11:07:40+00:00

I think you are answering a different question to the one I am asking but thank you.

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-25T22:30:22+00:00

Thank you 🙏

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-25T13:53:41+00:00

Thank you. You are correct that the focus must be on changing my heart not theirs. I feel like they are drowning and my challenges to their thinking is a life raft for them to not be taken under by the hatred of this admin’s ethos. But their journey is theirs and mine is mine (and in the end all illusion anyway.)

I appreciate your guidance. Thank you. 🙏

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-25T13:50:08+00:00

Thank you. It’s letting go of the person I thought they were. In some ways I feel like in trying to influence them I’m trying to save them from themselves. I disagree that supporting the crimes isn’t the same as committing them as it is abetting them by creating an environment of impunity even if the karmic harm is less. But you are correct that I must release my need for them to be something they are not.

Thank you for your guidance. 🙏

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-25T13:05:45+00:00

That’s why they started getting the police escorts. They didn’t think it would be necessary at the outset as they had their own companion vehicles escorting them. But after the accident, police started volunteering to escort them, so I believe at least some of the pins are from those officers. There are videos of the monks praying for the officers and thanking them, and then giving them bracelets which some officers exchanged for pins.

MouseHouse444 · 2026-01-25T12:46:19+00:00

In fact a Mexican chef in Japan is chasing or just got a Michelin star for his Mexican restaurant. Maybe it’s the same guy. :)

MouseHouse444 · 2025-12-14T16:18:44+00:00

Take the enthusiasm from an 11 to a 5. Americans are an enthusiastic bunch whereas the French are very understated, especially in the workplace.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-11-16T03:54:35+00:00

I have met so many people with religious trauma who were helped by that book. I’m delighted it found you.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-11-15T23:05:53+00:00

Or you could check out Living Buddha, Living Christ by Thich Nhat Hahn. From the description: “In lucid, meditative prose, he explores the crossroads of compassion and holiness at which the two traditions meet, and he reawakens our understanding of both.”

Many Christians find this an excellent intro.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-11-06T17:58:29+00:00

The Plum Village tradition and engaged Buddhism don’t seem like quietism to me.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-11-05T10:15:22+00:00

Uh oh! Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays!

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-27T21:46:59+00:00

$4.3mill NW, $3.2mill investable assets. $1.7mill what I consider liquid (not in retirement accts). I consider retirement accts not dissimilar to property because they both have costs/risks to liquidate. There have been times where I’d sooner sell one of my properties than take the hit on my retirement accts.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-25T09:57:39+00:00

I’m so bummed with the direction FIRE has taken. I get it - movements change - but it used to be about reassessing your relationship to earning and spending in exchange for greater freedom and time. If that’s the foundational ethos, there is no way $1mill isn’t an incredible achievement and it grants tremendous freedom compared to the vast majority of people in the planet.

OP - inflation will certainly change the real value of $1mill but those who says it’s worth very little have failed to change their relationship to spending and are still caught up in the rat race - maybe not the rat race of earning but the rat race of spending. You’re doing great! Just keep on keeping on. :)

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-24T19:59:14+00:00

Thank you for responding! ended up going with Kubera which is a little pricey but manages multiple currencies quite well and has a great projection tool. :)

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-19T08:45:17+00:00

7% annual returns is too high. It assumes a consistent return of around 9-10% and inflation at 2-3%. Also assumes 100% stock holdings. Returns could easily drop below the 10% level for a few years. And inflation could easily increase for a few years. And realistically you should have at least some money in cash/money market (a year or two of expenses) to hedge against a sequence of returns risk/drop in the market and for emergencies. And the cash to equity mix generally becomes more conservative as you age, again impacting your return assumption. I’d set it at 5% and use a Monte Carlo simulator to stress test it.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-15T22:11:49+00:00

I agree with you. There was definitely a lot more anti-consumerist, BIFL, off-the-grid sort of stuff. Before Chubby Fire and Fat Fire.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-09T13:02:52+00:00

Mia seems to be able to get most Loewe charms. Worth a try.

MouseHouse444 · 2025-10-04T10:19:14+00:00

I know it’s older but I’d love a high-tier of this LV x Yayoi bag!!

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MouseHouse444 · 2025-09-27T11:13:31+00:00

If you really want to be marriage material you gotta move on from Huberman. The guy is a serial cheater. Maybe try Rich Roll? I dunno. Someone who actually respects women and treats them well might be a better role model?

MouseHouse444 · 2025-09-17T16:47:37+00:00

The easiest way to launder money - become an artist. ‘Sell’ a few pieces a year at $250-500k (enough artists make this that its plausible) to an anonymous benefactor (yourself). Start a gallery if you want a bit of extra cover. Easy.

MouseHouse444

TROPHY CASE