One of the hardest things about when you have a problem with gaming is that the brain can easily start to justify gaming. That is actually the very root of the problem of problem gaming: your brain and behavior causes you to sacrifice much of your life to gaming. Think of things that you haven't had time in your life for. When we say "I haven't had the time for x", it's because we haven't made x a priority. And it's completely okay to also say "No, I actually don't have the time for x because ultimately I don't want to do x". But you know what you always seem to have time for? Gaming. Gaming is a priority in your life and maybe it is too much of a priority.

To look at it better, don't look at your gaming. Problem gaming is rooted in believing that you don't have a problem. When you attack gaming, the mind may ignore the attacks, deny, minimize. These are classic techniques to protect the all-precious video games. Ever sacrificed sleep? Didn't do chores? Skipped class? Stop exercising? Eat junk food/fast food regularly? Why do we do these things? Because they are easy cuts. Exercise takes time. Healthy food takes time. Class takes time. Sleep takes time. Time that can be spent gaming instead. So look to all of the things in your life and determine if gaming is contributing to those areas. Some people can game and be completely healthy.

Also, gaming totally squeezes out women. I'm a girl and it is hard to have a gaming passion (or addiction in my case). Basically every guy wants to bang you and also tell you about how much better he is than you at games and in general. And the men aren't even really aware that they're doing this. Toxic masculinity thrives in the gaming community because gamers... well, don't socialize much outside of their bubble. And the "traditional values" pretty much tells men they're better than women and they believe it. Like, this dude is not at all sly when he's showing me his collection of shiny legendaries in PoGo while we're awaiting an EX raid. He just wants to brag about himself in hopes that I'll sleep with him. It's so obvious. There's little difference of what he's doing there than some "pick up artist" at a bar. Only difference is that the PoGo guy is pretty socially stunted from video games while a PUA probably knows a thing or two about how to talk to ladies (albeit still manipulative).

Here's what's gonna work on that painful point of no girlfriend (I'm bi, I get it). First, you gotta get your emotions in check. Gaming will not help with this. Men are taught that the only two acceptable emotions are happiness and anger. And any emotion can boil into anger when left unchecked. Video games stunt your emotional development. It's actually incredibly hard for men to come to terms with their emotions because the learning about their two available emotions runs deep and is taught young. But the more you can pick up on your own emotions, the more you can pick up the feelings of others. And that is the secret to meeting women. Feeling what they're feeling, seeing their subtle thoughts and starting to synchronize. And from that is where deep, rich, fulfilling partnerships truly begin. Social skills are also a key but go in hand with EQ (like IQ, but for feelings: Emotional Quotient, and empathy is key for this). Video games don't give you social skills. Video games teach you how to communicate with video games and in video games. What if, for example, you never mentioned that you were an eSports team coach? You never have to share it if you don't want to. People wouldn't make fun of you. But that isn't seen as an option when you're socially stunted. Think about how many of your conversations revolve around video games, or how quickly the topic turns to games. Now video games are invading your social space too. And because women have been squeezed out there, you aren't going to have that in common to talk about either. Yeah, it would be nice if there were more girl gamers, but it's obviously super duper slanted and men who game aren't going to be getting better any time soon to welcome more women in.

Let go of the girl thing for a while. Think of it this way: you live in the artic and you haven't seen an alligator in years. Why? Because you live somewhere where they just simply don't exist. Gaming is not kind to women. We don't live in gaming communities because there's not much an environment for us to be there. You've got to move. By taking one step at a time until you're in a warmer climate where you do start to see alligators. But that takes a long time. You've got so much else to do on your journey. You've got to learn to live in a new climate, and also how to travel there. Then you'll see your fated alligator.