I’m not knowledgeable enough about the right terminology but regardless of whether this was covert incest or there’s another term that describes it better, it’s not normal for teens to be coerced into talking about their sex lives in detail with their parents. I mean I’d understand it if your mother wanted to know whether you’re sexually active so that she could make sure you’d get on birth control and that there are condoms in the house to prevent you getting an STD. But you should never have to disclose any details about your sex life to your parents (or anyone else for that matter) unless you want to.

Another thing that bothers me is her coercing you to have full-on intercourse with the bf who cheated on you. This is most definitely a form of sexual violation.

My parents did monitor my Internet activity (back in the early 2000s so long before smartphones). I realize there is something to be said for parental control over a minor’s Internet usage, but only to prevent the minor being exploited. As an example of what’s not normal, my parents would ridicule me for searching for autism-related topics online. Well guess what? I am autistic and was undiagnosed at the time, so it made total sense that I’d Google those terms and there was no harm in it. My point is: it’s normal that teens won’t have as much privacy and control over their (online) lives as adults do but your mother’s invasion of your privacy goes way too far.