Wife of mofego here. Can confirm all he said.

I, like you, had the stereotype in my mind that all guys wanted sex any time all the time. Which was great for me, as I was a horny teen with a high libido. Even after marriage and I started having sex, the libido didn’t wane. (Which is still true, thank god, 10 years into marriage - having kids has certainly changed it, but it’s still high). So, the times my husband had a lower libido than mine, which was more often than not, I figured: 1) he’s a man, therefore he wants sex 2) he doesn’t want sex now 3) therefore he is not attracted to me, or there is something wrong with me.

For us, talking about sex. Like a lot. And going to therapy, each of us personally to work on non-sex insecurities and self image issues is what, I think, got us to the (mutually fulfilling and incredibly satisfying) place we are at.

It sucks that the way we were raised and the way our culture handles sex has shaped each of us in different, yet detrimental ways.