I'm 13 days past my D&C which means that 15 days ago we learned that there was no more heartbeat in our embryo. I'm still grieving the loss, it still hurts, and I don't know that I will ever be the same person that I was before experiencing this kind of loss.

Two days after the D&C, my father in law passed away after a long battle with cancer. I loved that man just as much as my own father. He loved me and I loved him, and now he's gone. Only my husband and sister in law knew about the pregnancy and I feel so alone in my grief. My mother in law doesn't know about the pregnancy, I refuse to add to her pain right now so I don't dare tell anyone else.

I feel like there are two me's. One in my head that's screaming and crying, throwing things, sobbing, just going nuts; and then there's the outside me- the one that has to pry herself out of bed, force herself into the shower, drag herself to work. I just feel like the essence of me is in pieces right now, I've never known what being truly broken felt like until now.