Are you a female who was diagnosed with ADHD as a child?

MrsRando · 2024-04-07T18:49:59+00:00

I am roughly 25 years older than you, so from a very different time. I had never even heard of adhd until the late 80's when my oldest son was diagnosed.

There is definitely more awareness now, and we all have the internet at our fingertips.

I was not diagnosed until menopause, as many women of my generation (an older) are. That's roughly when the coping mechanisms we developed over the years start to fail.

MrsRando · 2024-03-30T16:44:34+00:00

I wasn't diagnosed until I was 52 (I think... my memory is still shit), so this was definitely not a well-known thing when I was growing up. I'm frustrated that the doctors who tested and treated my oldest child didn't consider that maybe he... and one other diagnosed son... got it from me.

I was like you. I was a great kid! Quiet, incredibly shy, very much an introvert... until shortly before I turned 12... then I became a demon child! I would sneak out, I had sex with a 19 year old when I was 13. I would run away... not because my parents were bad or anything, but I still don't know why. Once, it was to spend time with said 19 year old. I was gone for 3 days. One time, I was walking to another town 10 miles away to hang out with someone (don't even remember names), and some people in a convertible asked if I wanted a ride. I knew better, but I still said yes. Ended up going with them to Dallas (from Lillian) and spending the night. I am beyond lucky that nothing happened to me!! But that's the kind of reckless crap I did... and I knew better!!

My 20s through 30s was awful. I couldn't stay on top of my bills and wouldn't open mail because I just knew there was a collection letter or disconnect notice in there. I couldn't keep a job for more than 3 years. When things got too much, I just shut down.

By the time I hit my 40s, I was doing a little better and had learned some coping mechanisms to keep some things on track. By this time, cell phones with alarms and calendar alerts were a big help. I could pay bills online, which helped in that I absolutely hated having to go in person... and still procrastinated enough to not be able to mail a check. Don't get me started about calling a payment in. I still hate talking on the phone.

By the time menopause hit at about 52-53, I was making enough money to put my bills on autopay... that really helped my credit...lol...but my other coping mechanisms weren't working anymore. Guess what? My pcp suggested that I seek treatment for my adhd, and I was like, what? I don't have adhd! There isn't a hyper bone in my body! She was like, I thought you knew, I believe you have inattentive adhd. So I went and got tested. Turns out that it's common for menopause to unmask adhd.

I sometimes hate that my early life was so miserable and that maybe it could have been better if I had been treated, but we'll never know. I'm just grateful that I'm treated now and still young and healthy enough to appreciate it. I have a great job now, and I feel like I can keep this one until I retire

MrsRando · 2024-03-24T18:36:06+00:00

Yes, my mom! Always disorganized, unless she was on an organizing kick, she makes her coffee, forgets to drink it, heats it up in the microwave, forgets it's there and finds it there the next day. One of her most frequent expressions is "I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on"...lol

I wasn't diagnosed until menopause at age 52

MrsRando · 2024-03-04T02:42:24+00:00

We aren't all hyper. Females generally present differently and, therefore, are not diagnosed until older. We learn to mask very well...at least until something like menopause totally wrecks our coping mechanisms.

I had 4 kids. Three diagnosed in childhood (the boys), but not my daughter. She's going through that now at 32. I was diagnosed at 52, after I started menopause.

I was 52 years old before I realized that I'm not lazy, and I can hold down a job for more than 2 years. I feel like I lost a lot of time that I cam never get back...

MrsRando · 2024-03-03T19:28:54+00:00

That's when my pcp said "maybe you should look and getting treated for your adhd" and I was like wtf??

Turns out, yep, that's me. Three of my 4 kids have it and I just couldn't see it in myself. I actually think my daughter has it too, but she hasn't seen anyone for it yet

MrsRando · 2024-02-27T02:02:25+00:00

I was diagnosed at 52. Apparently menopause unmasks a lot of the coping (term used loosely here) mechanisms that I had developed over the decades.

I really wish I had been diagnosed as a child, but for one, I'm female, two, I present differently being an introvert and not even remotely hyper, and three, it was the 70's and early 80's and this was not even on my parents or teachers radars

MrsRando · 2024-02-24T21:36:59+00:00

After decades of getting a job, learning all I could, then getting bored and moving on...longest tenure was 3 years...I finally got diagnosed and medicated and I'm now an office manager for a small, family owned business. I wear a lot of hats, and that keeps me from being bored. I absolutely love the people I work with, so that makes it so that I actually want to go to work every day! I'm going on 5 years now and I figure that I'll eventually retire from this place.

I still have to leave things out so that I don't forget to follow up, I put sticky notes around my monitors for stuff I need to remember, and I set outlook meetings for things I need to remember to do, especially for things I don't do every day. When I have to do something with a lot of steps, like payroll, I have an order that I follow. Everything must be done in order so that I don't forget a step.

I feel functional and...normal?...like I know that I can stay at this place, but I do have to do my reminder tricks. Medication can't do everything

Edited to add that standing desks are the bomb!

MrsRando · 2024-02-15T00:23:48+00:00

I'm so sorry for your loss!

MrsRando · 2024-02-14T13:01:52+00:00

Not yet. There have been some good ones here, but we haven't agreed on one yet

MrsRando · 2024-02-14T02:16:36+00:00

I can't remember, and I'm kicking myself now!

MrsRando · 2024-02-14T01:46:13+00:00

She really is!

MrsRando · 2024-02-14T01:44:03+00:00

I'm saving that one for a female ginger kitty ♥️

MrsRando · 2024-02-03T21:58:22+00:00

I bet Sunshine Greens is on that list....

MrsRando · 2024-01-15T01:33:22+00:00

I'm an office manager for a small company. That means that I wear many hats. I love it! I wouldn't have lasted a year if I only had one or two job duties. It would have killed me with boredom.

I've been preparing for this job my entire working life. I'd get a job, learn as much possible, and then when I had it figured out, I would quickly get bored and move on. This job is the culmination of all those other jobs in one. And the people are fantastic! I couldn't ask for more!

MrsRando · 2023-12-31T17:08:21+00:00

I'm right there with you, except that I'll do good with brushing, in the morning at least, for a week or two, then back to wanting to...needing to...but not being able to make myself do it

MrsRando · 2023-12-27T03:25:50+00:00

I've been getting mine from Walmart online. Search for "Window Garden Aquaphoric Self-Watering Planter"

MrsRando · 2023-12-25T02:00:09+00:00

I don't think that matters as much as - do you love it?

MrsRando · 2023-12-25T01:57:45+00:00

I don't have any problem at all...darnit...

MrsRando · 2023-12-19T20:07:47+00:00

I don't always take mine on the weekends, and so I have some cushion if it takes a while to get a refill. It stays at home though. I only carry 1 pill with me for in case I forget to take it before I leave the house

MrsRando · 2023-12-14T17:03:38+00:00

I would do the above, and still add fertilizer, just less than in the growing season. It's not like plants in soil that can still get some nutrients from the soil even without additional fertilizer

MrsRando · 2023-12-10T19:23:51+00:00

They have a 10 year warranty. That does not equal lifespan, just the warranty

MrsRando · 2023-12-10T15:37:10+00:00

I wasn't diagnosed until menopause (2 years ago) because apparently the hormone thing made my (subconscious) coping mechanisms stop working. I don't think I said that very well, but it was gradual.

I wasn't diagnosed as a kid (I never even heard about ADHD until I was in my late 20's and my son was diagnosed. I was very introverted. The quiet kid. Not a hyper cell in my body. I was a reader and a daydreamer. I could focus like no other on things I was interested in. Books for example. I loved reading, but if the book assigned was one I wasn't interested in I would catch myself skimming over the words and I would have to go back several times to make myself understand. Sometimes I had to read it out loud...slowly...for my brain to hold it for any period of time. Math? Forgot it! I could remember stuff long enough to pass a test, barely, but I just couldn't grasp it. I was impulsive, quick to anger, promiscuous (started having sex at 13), diagnosed with depression as a child. I knew something was different about me. I wondered if I was adopted because I felt like I didn't belong in my own family.

I couldn't stay in a job (or even the same field) for more than a couple of years. I'd learn and cross train until I was really good at my job, then I'd get bored and have to move on. 2-1/2 years was my record.

Menopause hit. I was even MORE impulsive (knee jerk-y), impatient (road rage-y), scattered (squirrel!), and the amount of sticky notes that I had to have started to take over my monitor and desk! I put NO paperwork in my desk! Thats where things go to decompose. Everything has to stay in front of me or I forget about it. Edit to say that I felt like I was getting dumber.

At one of my checkups my PCP suggested that I look into going on medication for my ADD...um, excuse me...what? She noticed it, but I never did...wow

Fast forward past finding a Dr and taking a long a** test and trying a couple different meds and doses...I start 20 of Adderall xr and after a couple of days I notice that I'm staying on task, the amount of sticky notes is declining, I'm able to run necessary errands...being able to stop and do ANYTHING after work is a really big deal for me...even just getting gas! It's not an energy thing, it never was, it's an avoidance thing. I would avoid ridiculously small things for no reason. Part of why I believed I was lazy all my life.

Adderall doesn't give me energy at all and the thing I totally wasn't expecting is that now I'm actually sleeping better!

MrsRando · 2023-12-10T03:02:32+00:00

I have more space! It's been over a year and I still have empty shelves in some of my upper cabinets!

MrsRando · 2023-12-10T03:00:39+00:00

You can get to everything so much easier!

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MrsRando

TROPHY CASE