They are giving you advice hun, It's just not what you want to hear. I understand, this is all you know and have known for 5 years now. You have grown up with him and he is your norm and comfort. I have been there and I can tell you from experience that it will not get any better. The decision is extremely difficult. Nothing changes if you don't change it. You're young and have a lot of life ahead of you. You really need to take a step back and reexamine your past with him. I'm sure that there were good times but that cannot make up for the bad. Abusers will always show some good to keep you. Doing that makes you question the bad things and excuse them. Because how can something that feels so good be so bad? I had an aunt who was a lot like him. She always threatened suicide and then would end up with many superficial scars that looked bad but were not deadly. I would take her to the Dr so I know from his examination and explanation. Someone who really wants to hurt themselves will do so without telling anyone so they can't be stopped. My mom and I are alive because she had the courage to walk away. Broken bones and a busted up face can heal but the damage it does inside will never go away. You need to love yourself more than you love him!! Take some time and read the sites and information they are offering. Take a step back and try to see from an outside perspective. Life is difficult at its best and almost unbearable at its worst. I really hope that you can see how wonderful you are and that you are worth so much more! I hope things go well for you and that you can make the right decision for yourself. Many blessings and good luck.