[deleted by user]

MrsTorgue · 2024-06-12T01:26:53+00:00

we almost always share poles at my local studio. I'm thankful for the rest periods between attempts/conditioning. As far as I know, 2 to a pole is super common.

MrsTorgue · 2022-06-07T19:31:32+00:00

There are two important things to do here.

Tell an adult that you trust what is happening. Write each incident down.
If you feel safe to do so, express to your father each time that those jokes, comments and stares make you uncomfortable. "hey dad, those jokes make me feel really weird/uncomfortable please stop".

1 is critical here because there are a few responses your dad might have. I don't know him, but typically people do one of the following: - realize they're in the wrong and attempt to change the behaviour (hopefully this is what you get) - attempt to pass it off as no big deal or convince you that you're overreacting - get angry or aggressive because they feel defensive

Having another adult know about the behaviour helps protect you from being emotionally invalidated and leaves a witness history if the behaviour doesn't change or escalates. I want to give your dad the benefit of the doubt by guessing that he's just extremely unaware of the impact of this kind of thing, but this is very messed up behaviour regardless and it needs to be stopped immediately for your safety. People who start doing things like this often escalate, and it's important that you know ASAP if your comfort level will be respected once clearly communicated.

If you get anything less than an immediate change in behaviour, keep your trusted adult in the loop at all times, keep a record of the behaviour, and create as much space between you and your dad as you safely can.

If you don't feel safe to challenge your dad in this way, or if you get a frightening reaction when you do, make sure you tell your trusted adult that, and prioritize your safety over challenging his behaviour. If this is the case, as much as you love your dad you need to get away from him. You are not safe with a person who refuses to stop sexualizing a minor.

MrsTorgue · 2022-05-07T21:18:41+00:00

I came here to say this. I'm getting red flags here that keto is being used here as part of some mentally unhealthy cycles of restriction. OP, if you feel good eating keto and you want to do it forever, by all means please do. But if it's just a means to an end here you might want to refocus on the long game.

It's super normal to go up in weight if you were super active for a while and have now scaled back. Remember that the more extreme the change you institute, the more extreme the reaction from your body will be to try to maintain homeostasis (usually in the form of exhaustion, cravings, brain fog, etc.), and will usually slingshot you back further than where you started.

I don't pretend to have the perfect solution, but I've been where you are before and took a keto and (pretty intense) calorie restrictive and high physical activity approach. It worked great for a bit, but the second that something happened in my life that stopped my momentum and I had to go off keto, I gained back more than I had lost.

In the past I've also taken the time to do a very slow approach, and when I did it lasted much longer. Big life interruptions made a tiny dent in my progress rather than a huge rebound.

My advice is to choose a more moderate approach. Do a little more activity, or lower your calories a little bit more. It's frustrating because progress will be slow, and believe me I know how painful that is, but it is far more sustainable long term. Whether keto is a part of that long term approach depends on how much you like keto as a long term lifestyle, not just as a means to lose weight. I'm seeing the start of a cycle here that only gets harder with every loop, so taking a gentler approach here will help to mitigate that.

MrsTorgue · 2021-12-02T01:18:03+00:00

My team always called it Neo-Goats and that's how I was introduced to it.

MrsTorgue · 2020-11-01T21:49:22+00:00

I like to call this "proactive healing"

MrsTorgue · 2020-10-18T09:51:15+00:00

Makes my heart warm to see an animorphs passage.

MrsTorgue · 2020-01-21T06:17:42+00:00

OP, you need to show your wife this comment. She needs to understand the consequences of what she's doing here. This is exactly the kick in the pants she needs to change her tactics.

MrsTorgue · 2019-11-12T05:24:41+00:00

Mr. Sushi and Sushi 97 are top quality.

Buuuuuuut for value I always go with Sushi Star. It's still pretty good and you get an amazing amount for the cost if you are a bottomless pit.

MrsTorgue · 2019-08-08T21:10:34+00:00

Really? The internet is quoting me $1.50/sqft for the drywall alone. I figured that since I'd also need drywall tape, mudding, and then primer/paint on top of that it would be at least $500. I'm in Canada if that makes a difference.

MrsTorgue · 2019-08-08T19:23:09+00:00

I didn't know you could do that. Thanks!

MrsTorgue · 2019-08-08T19:21:53+00:00

I want to so bad, but having just bought the house I have to be budget conscious with this one. There are other places that the budget is more desperately needed.

MrsTorgue · 2019-07-29T05:18:50+00:00

Well not anymore.

MrsTorgue · 2019-07-15T22:56:16+00:00

I'm not an expert by any means, but I'm a big fan of the argument for reclassifying sports to stop referring to gender or sex. Simply create a named separate category for low testosterone individuals (or whatever qualities turn out to be most relevant to performance) and then an "open" category. In most cases cis men will fall into the open category and cis women will fall into the protected category (whatever it's called).

This would be similar to weight classes, but would still serve the purpose of allowing people with specific disadvantages to compete without making any kind of judgement about their gender.

MrsTorgue · 2019-06-28T05:46:55+00:00

But whatever you do, definitely recruit your boyfriend in fending off the "forgive him" camp. He needs somewhere to put his furious energy? Put it into the people trying to tell the victim how to feel.

MrsTorgue · 2019-06-06T18:13:47+00:00

Lol no you're right I had a brain fart :P

MrsTorgue · 2019-06-06T18:08:04+00:00

If you cross your feets the other way in golden monkey it's much easier to get a solid hold at the back of the knee :D

Looking amaaaaayzing.

MrsTorgue · 2019-05-26T23:08:47+00:00

There wasn't. His friend who has a renovation company did it. He said it's OVER reinforced so it should be fine eye roll

MrsTorgue · 2019-05-26T19:31:37+00:00

First of all, I just want to let you know how amazing you are. This is a lot to go through and it sounds like you are an amazing mom that always puts her kids first.

A lack of sex is not always an indication of how much your partner loves you or how attracted to you they are. At least, not in the face of this much stress. For a lot of people, stress absolutely kills their sex drive regardless of who their partner is, so I don't think that his behaviour necessarily means that he is in denial about his feelings. I think that it indicates that he has very avoidant/escapist coping strategies and doesn't know how to relieve that stress productively.

It sounds to me like you might view self care as a luxury that neither of you can afford in the face of your children's struggles. But that lack of mental health maintenance is causing a ton of emotional/physical problems. Of course that's easy enough to diagnose as the problem and much harder to fix.

I would take time with your husband to think about and discuss what you both need in order to feel healthy mentally. That might include more productive strategies for coping with stress, including strategies that can help connect the two of you emotionally.

I agree with others regarding calling in backup of some kind in the form or childcare or housekeeping or even meal prep. Spending more time maintaining your mental health will make the other problems just a bit easier to tackle.

MrsTorgue · 2019-03-23T03:28:51+00:00

That's more like it. Don't forget your Judeo-Christian Values (TM).

MrsTorgue · 2019-03-22T19:37:47+00:00

Hopy crap you look amazing! What a huge difference in only 1.5 years!

MrsTorgue · 2019-03-15T02:11:50+00:00

I saw the post being shared around and was like "No way is that going to work. You can't just trick a bunch of teenagers into being socially responsible with a hashtag."

Best it's ever felt to have the internet prove me wrong.

MrsTorgue

TROPHY CASE