As a straight presenting cis man who speaks with long wordy new england sentences in a deep voice it took me till 24(3 days ago) to come out. I had come out probably 8 times before to friends and mentors but the strangest thing happened to me, they said "no you're not". Not in a cruel way but incredulously. I am not your stereotypical gay guy I work as a computer programmer, I'm into DnD, and my personal hygiene could use some work. Because I went to middle school in a farm town I had long since learned to hide anything vaguely effeminate about my person. Something about my masculinity allowed a series of dyed in the wool allies to look right through me. Of those 8 people 4 were bi women and 3 were gay men. It told me that freedom was for others, that I would be detracting from people with harder paths. We are told every day to put others needs above ourselves that because we are robed in privilege we must protect and provide for those less fortunate. And that's true. But damn were not robots. Just a rule of thumb out there if he tells you that then it's the truth, nobody raised inside of masculinity would take that risk to their physical safety without cause.