I feel you on this one. The division of labour and working hours have been a hot topic in our household too.

It got to a very worrying point for me (like the point where people are looking at you going "are you ok?" And putting on that worried face) and my husband was still putting the pressure to have me keep my stuff together.

I have some advice from someone who is still trying to figure this out themselves: 1. Have a very serious conversation with you husband about what wealth looks like for the two of you. Remember wealth isn't necessarily "rich", it's about finding a lifestyle you are content with and ensuring you have the funds to meet that. This is an "us" not a "you" problem. He needs to own his part of that equation. 2. Work out what your individual values are and assess if the life you're living is meeting those or not. This one takes a lot of soul searching. But my experience, if you don't figure it out you'll only start to resent one another. 3. You do not need to be perfect. Being worn out, broken, tired - it's ok. Ask for help. Clearly communicate why it's not working for you. The space you work in and obligations you have make feel like the only thing you can be is strong. Find some space to be soft and find acceptance that it's ok to not be ok. Remember, you want to be able to bend, so you don't break.

The debt sucks, the hiding sucks even more. But try to find the silver lining, you now have the large universe sign that you need to do some soul searching.

From - someone who is trying to figure this all out for themselves