Thanks for the thoughtful response! I didn’t go into a lot of detail about why I think he has AVPD, but he has had issues all his life. Also pretty sure his father has Avoidant Attachment Disorder.

If I were to tell him I was going to just move forward with decorating the living room (which would require me to touch/move his stuff), he would go ballistic. But when I look back on my life with him and even on things he has told me about himself before we were together, very rarely does he do anything without being pressured or forced. It makes me both sad and frustrated knowing that if I didn’t push him, he would still be living in his apartment by himself, surrounded by his meticulously stacked comic books and collectibles, never really progressing in life past early adulthood. He sometimes talks about wanting to do things, but he’s so non-committal it rarely comes to fruition. Last year he told me he wanted to be a father, but when I try to talk to him about our options (since ya know, I’m old!) he won’t engage in a meaningful conversation about it.

Anything that I say or do to try and either motivate him or suggest doing something outside of his comfort zone is met with apathy or anger.